I love and miss you so much.  I know you miss us, too.  I hope that you can hear/read my words.

I can't get your infectious laugh out of my mind.  Sometimes it makes me smile but other times, I just cry for you.  I loved how you could laugh at your own jokes.  I can see the tears in your eyes as you laughed so hard, at your own silly antics. 

I miss hanging out with you.  Watching the History and Discovery channels together.  Our long conversations about the many subjects of peace, war, people, places and religions.  We really did a lot of talking on religion, didn't we?  There isn't anyone for me to talk to about all that now.  No one is as knowledgable as you to keep the conversation interesting.  You were a great philosopher!  I loved those talks with you.

Kylie is getting so big.  She lost her two front teeth in the last few weeks!  When she only had lost one, she looked like Nanny McPhee's child! :)  She got a big belly laugh from that idea!  She is doing honors in school, although she says she doesn's like school as much now.  At least she is still learning.  She misses you terribly and I am sure you see her many notes she writes and leaves around the house for you.

Miles is really growing fast!  He remembers you very well, for having been so young.  He always says he misses you and talks about you being in Heaven with Jesus.  He has finally accepted you can't come visit him.  That was very hard for him to wrap his little mind around.  He knows you would if you could.  That is a blessing.

I want to see you so badly.  I want to hug you and kiss you and lock you in my closet, forever! {{{Rocky}}}

Your dad is barely holding on.  He tries to be strong for me but he is having a really hard time, too.  Maybe you could come talk to him in his dreams and try to help him, like you sometimes visit me.  I worry about him.  It has really taken a lot of years from him.

We want to do better emotionally but we really don't know how.  We are starting to try a bit harder, I think.  It isn't easy. It never will be easy. 

Perhaps through letters to you I will be able to come to terms.  I don't know what terms, but maybe some kind of compromise ir something to help me do more with the life I have left here before I can see you again. 


I love you so much, Roxtar!


Hugs and kisses, my baby boy.




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