I came here because it will be 5 months in a couple of days since John died and instead of getting better it is getting worse. It is as if I died with him. I was always a happy person that saw the silver lining and had faith. Now I am never happy and have lost my faith in God completely. I have 4 great kids and if it wasn;t for them I would not have made it thru this far. But, they have their own lives and I can't live my life thru them. There isn't an hour in the day that I do not think of him still...
I am trying to hang in,..but these days, tho I talk to him alot and journal to him almost every day talking to him as if he was here...I can;t shake the feeling that when we die, we really go nowhere. Its just the end, and he can't here me,..and our spirits will not meet again. I can;t get past the fact that our time together is really over. He had always said tome he wished we had met sooner in life....so do I
I wish I could tell you that it gets easier, but for me that has not happened yet. I lost my 24 year old son April11. 2011 and I am still struggling with grief. I have found that coming here and just chatting with people does help, because I know that I am not alone in how I feel and that I am not going crazy with my thoughts. I still feel like I just want to run away to make this all go away, but I know that is not going to help or make anything better. I too have a hard time doing things and have guilt when I have a half way decent day. I find it helpful to look at things a minute at a time, there are good ones and bad ones. Hang in there <3
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