I lost my husband of 26 years in January of this year. He had been diagnosed with congestive heart failure in early November but was otherwise healthy. He was put on various medications to strenghten his heart but to no avail. We had a good day that Friday doing all the things we normally did, shopping, lunch with grandkids, and just enjoying life here at home. His words to me that evening were "I don't feel good", and then he was gone. I am hoping this site will help me in expressing my feelings with you in similar situations. I read many of your postings before I comitted myself to join. So many of you put in to words exactly what I am going through. He was my rock, my anchor and I am struggling to reinvent myself once again. I am surrounded by a big loving family, but as many of  you have expressed, they too have lives to live and I hesitiate to always show my emotions in front of them. My social circle consisted mostly of other couples, and they no longer call or visit. I don't want to socialize only with other "widows" but find that is where the understanding is found. I have had difficult stuggles in the past, but this is by far the hardest thing I have ever encountered. I plan to survive and am looking for the tools to do so.