I was care giver to a dear man who lost his wife 8 years ago.  She was my close friend also. 

My friend, had heart problems and one morning he didn't answer the phone.  When I went to his house I found him on the floor and there was blood in three rooms, on furniture and walls.  He had fallen and had broken his nose.  He then had a heart attack and died.  I was told to do CPR but it was too late.  I was detained for four hours since it looked like a crime scene.  It was a natural death.

I feel guilty I wasn't there when he died...his greatest fear was dying alone.  The detective assured me he was gone the first time I called him on the phone.

I can't get that scene and those feelings out of my mind.  Can't sleep, eat, am very depressed.