I never really knew just how much my heart could hurt until my 32 year old son Danny died of colon/liver cancer. I watched him suffer for 22 months and lived with all his fears, sorrow, worries and pains right up until he took his last breath. Some people truly do not know what to say but feel a need to say something, anything and it may not be what we want to hear. The family members left behind hear all types of comments. When ever some one lingers like my son did you get comments like: He is no longer suffering, or his death is for the best he is at peace now or He is with the Lord (which is the only comment that I can handle or that can in some small way give me any comfort or keep me from having a nervous breakdown), or He will always be remembered looking young. I believe there is no right thing to say or do to make a grieving person feel less sorrow. We can be there for people, bring food, or clean their house or sit with them but what I liked best is just having people allow me to say what I was feeling, cry, scream, explode or just sit quietly and not interrupt me. I am most grateful though to have those that do try to comfort me show their respect as opposed to those who never acknowledge my son's death. All we can do is just hang in there.
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