Thank God for leading me to this website. I lost my husband of 15 years on March 1, 2010. We were told the end of December he had liver cancer, 60 days later he was gone. I had so much grief, lonliness and heartache that it is still everpresent. People say it will get better, but I do not believe it ever could. I too wonder daily how can I go on. Three weeks after my husband passed, my father had a leg amputated and I found it necessary to move from Michigan to Pennsylvania to help out. Now I am not only starting my life over without my husband, but in a state I left 27 years ago. I have bouts of anger, depression, disbelief, why did this happen and why did I not get to go with him? I had to leave my stepchildren, grown and my lovely grandchildren, some grown.
I miss my family, my home, my husband and my life. I am 53 and did not want to start over at this time in my life, looking for a job after not working for 15 years and giving my home to grandkids and needing a place to live.
I spend every night still crying myself to sleep and the tears come just at any time all through the day, without notice. I have no one here to lean on, my parents are in their 70's and have too much going on to burden. I can not find a group to attend, to just talk or listen to others. Every day a pray for strength to get through the next "moment", I have not made it to days yet. I am hoping that through this site I can get some peace of mind and it is so sad to learn that there are so many of us.