On Dec. 10 I lost my dear mother. She would have been 102

in Feb., but she had had a bout of pneumonia a year ago & never recovered her strength. I have had her in my life for 75

years & it's hard to let her go. I cry nearly every day & feel like a part of my own life is gone. She herself mastered the art of letting go, but I have not. I still need her in my life & I'm having difficulty functioning. I live alone, so I must! Members of my family all live in different states & it was wonderful to have some of them here for her memorial service, but they have all gone home. Getting over my father's death was easy because he had lost his eyesight & suffered so at the end with breast cancer, so his leaving this earthly life was a blessing & I can smile when I think about him. But how do you say, "My mother is with Jesus now & she is happy & joyful." Every time I start to go through her belongings in my basement I am wracked with grief. Christmas was difficult & I only pulled off a meal for my grandson, because I'm all he has & we both needed that. I couldn't even bring myself to go to church & sing the carols Mother loved so much. Yesterday I went to a funeral at my church & talked with our former rector a bit, as he knew & appreciated my mother. Our new rector has no clue as to who she was & what she means to me. How do you get on with your life when you just don't want to leave your loved one behind?