I am really missing my oldest brother. We just buried him on Monday. I'm really filling bad about his death because I wasn't really there for him like I ought to have been and my conscious is eating me up . I've asked God to forgive me, but I can't seem to forgive myself. I need strength to get through this, but I really don't know how to. My brother had been sick many for years, and even close to death, but he pulled through every time! I thought that he would be here for a long time. I was shocked when I found out that he died, and I still cannot believe it today. His 63rd birthday would have been yesterday and it was a bad day for me! I AM TRULY GOING TO MIISS HIM! I truly regret not being there for him like I should have. If I could turn things around I would do it so much better! But I can't. All I can do is forgive myself, and don't make the same mistake again.