I must continue to share my sadness, my loss and my lonelyness of Joe. We were not married yet. We intended to start house hunting and getting married after the first of the year. As it turned out I should have married Joe when he suggested it earlier. I had most of my home moved into his. We wanted and needed more room. Joe and I began working hard together to combine or get rid of years of accumulation on both our parts. He told me he finally had a reason to want more in life. That reason was me and I was so happy to be his partner. We fit each other well. His oldest son commented more then on one occasion that he had not seen his dad so happy. Without getting into specifics Joe had a mission. He had assets he was working hard to cash in to help with the purchase of a home for us. I had just gotten a new job. We were both excited about it all. Everything was all coming together. Joe and I accomplished so much in a short period of time. We did not always see eye to eye. We both had a stubborn streak. We were building a life together and learning alot from each other. We had each been single for a long time. Working on "set in your ways" to understanding each other was so good for both of us. We brought out the best of each other and I miss that. I'm heart broke for the loss of the love of my life. People commented on how great we were together. They complimented Joe and I on how obvious it was that we were so in love. I ache for him. My life is forever changed. I don't understand why he's gone. I'll never completely accept it. He was so big and strong. He was beautiful in my eyes inside and out.