It's been five years since Scott went away.  I can't tell you'll how much I love him, I go crazy at times and cry and throw things.  I drink too much,  I went to the doctor and she wanted to put me in Our Lady of Peace because I cried in her office.  I can't keep a job because I can't concentrate sometimes on what I should be doing.  Just tell me how should a mother act who lost a son . Put it on the back burner and go about your way,  should I put all his pictures away so I can't see his face then maybe I will forget,  I can't do any of that.  God gave me this pain and I will feel this pain everyday.  I hate it when people say ( do you think Scott would want you to be like this )  I know Scott would know how I would act when I got that call and I went to the hospital to be told he had died from an accident at work.   All the talking and pills in the world won't take this pain away.  



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Comment by shirley zurschmeide on November 25, 2017 at 3:41pm

I haven't been on here in awhile.  When I tell people what I saw at my son's funeral,  they never react the way I would think they should. Maybe they don't believe me when I say I saw a large circle of purple light across the room. 

Comment by Betty Farnsworth on March 8, 2013 at 9:36pm

Its been 4 years since I lost my daughter. I understand. When I look at her pictures, especially her childhood pictures, I get weepy for what a wonderful daughter she was. I have a few adult pictures I keep out. I don't think my daughter realized how much her suicide would hurt others. There is our difference, it was a choice for her, but the pain of a loss of a child will not completely go away until we meet them again in a better place. I have to stay here for my other children and grandchildren but I will love seeing her again when I die. That's the hope that I have to hold on to.

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