I just signed up today I lost my DH on March 11th the day before our 8 year anniversery he took our 3 children, my pregnant step daughter and son in law to the river to play with a remote controlled boat the river was starting to flood the boat got stuck so my 8 year old went to get it out of the bushes my husband told him to come back but he reached down and fell in my son in law and my husband jumped in to save him my husband was able to grab him and swim to the shore and pass him to a stranger that had just pulled up he went back to help my son in law but the currents was so strong the river was moving at 35 mph and was 42 degrees they both went under and never resurfaced it was 7 days of watching the cops pull up 2 times a day to give me a update my heart sank everytime they pulled into my yard I went once a day to the boat ramps and screamed for him I just knew he had to be alive a man like him just dont lay down and die he fought his whole life and was a great swimmer I was out looking for him that day when I herd the blow horn that they had found something I ran through 2 miles of swamps to get to the boat ramp they said they found his body it was 3/4 of a mile down I screamed no over and over until I couldnt talk I just thought not him not my baby I cant get that day out of my head I keep living it over and over and keep saying why did I go to work that day I wanted to call in I had found a new job and put my notice in that day why didnt I just stay home he would not have gone he knows how much I hated the river it has been over 2 months now and I am not getting better even with therapy and counciling I am still feeling lost and confused I live for my babies and that is it I would bite a bullet if not for them I cant take a life that he is not in I was 19 when I Married him he has been the thing in my life that the sun rose and set in I dont understand he was such a good man he spent his life helping people why did God call him to leave with all the scum out there why such a light in this dark world... I hear this pain gets better but when I feel worse...