My sweetie and I loved each other very much. We were together for 5 years and we tried strived to love unconditionally. We didn't want to be traditional with marriage, we didn't want to be bound by legalities. We wanted to be free to love each other from our own free will. Now, I find that the obituary that his mother will issue will refer to me as "friend" - no describing beloved, sweetheart, long-time, loving, soulmate, special; just friend. I release my attachment to this by repeatedly reading the loving cards, letters, texts, video messages that he gave to me. I hold onto the last text where he told me he loves me and will see me later. I hold onto the "thank you for loving me" and "yours for eternity" cards that have suddenly been found amongst my clutter. And then I wonder why he would be ripped away. I question God and the universe. I have been a good person, I do things to the best I can, I try to keep an open heart in every area of my life. Why does this have to be a part of His plan?

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