Today would have been my husband's 70th birthday. It's the first significant "anniversary" date since he died just over 2 months ago. It's raining here, and I walked home from the dentist in the rain. Felt like the world was crying outside as I cried inside.

Steve would have liked to semi-retire a couple of years ago, but interesting work kept coming his way, and he held off to let his Social Security benefit rise as high as possible. He did that for me; he was always putting others first. But finally, we thought he'd have more time for his various interests - and to watching his granddaughter grow up. He never got the chance, and it hurts me to think of all he missed, of all we missed sharing.

Oh, Steve! How I wish we were getting ready for your birthday party tonight! Wherever you are, I hope at least that the wine and music are good. I miss you, and I love you.