Still no word from my sister. I called the hospital again yesterday and she was there. I didn't ask to be transferred to her or anything, as she asked me to not communicate with her after that call on Monday. I am sick to my stomach, thinking about what she is thinking. Today is Thursday, which is 3 days after that phone call I had with her. Is she still thinking about suicide? Do these thoughts make her scared? Do they make her sad? Is she at peace with her thoughts of suicide? Do they comfort her? Does she even think about me and my son, about how she will never see us again? I am so troubled by WHAT a suicidal person thinks about. Do they forget about others who love them?
I wonder if I should be sitting around feeling sad. Feeling scared. Feeling like I should help her. I don't know.