It's Been about 15 months since my dad died and 22 months since lance my twin Brother died. For the longest time no one talked about what happened and thier names were not mentioned often. It was uncomfortable to mention thier names in normal conversation.  I was afraid that too many questions would be asked. This bothered me because I was afraid that they would be forgotton.

I am not yet to the point where I feel comfortable talking about how they died, but I can talk about them. I have found that when I share things about Lance and Dad a lot of times the person I am talking to does not realize that Dad and Lance have passed.This is nice because it makes it feel like their life ment something and insures that they won't be forgotton. I can just talk and people just think they are learning something new about my familly.

The only exception is when I refer to Lance as my twin. That allways draws attention, so for now I just use the word brother.