My little sister was murdered April 18, 1991 by a guy we went to school with. I was the one who found her. It was the most horrifying site I had ever seen. I was 16 she was 15. We played doubles tennis together. It was a awful mistake that she was home that day, it really should have been me. One day a week we practiced individually per the coaches request and that week we switched days. I had a date, a secrete date so we switched days so I could go out. Greg thought it would be me home that day. He made it very clear in court that he had watched us and knew our routine. He wanted to kill me those were even the words he had spoken in court and to the police. It had been a mistake and he claimed that when he walked through the door of our home he made that clear to her too. He told her that he thought I was the one that should have been home but there was no going back for him at that point. He was so wound up that he took her life instead of just waiting for me. He sodomized her, raped her and strangled her in the process. He ripped her completely open while he was raping her. He beat her so badly that her nose was on the other side of her face. When I walked in I was frantic, I did CPR but she was already gone and there was no coming back for her. Her poor body was beaten and bloodied. She had fought, there was no doubt in that. There was blood covering the ceiling and going down the walls. There were blood hand prints staining the walls. Looking around made me feel like I had dropped acid and was having a bad trip. It was devastating. She was my life, my little sis, my very best friend. In all reality she was my only friend. The years have gone by and soon he will be up for parole, because of his age at the time of her death he wasn't eligable for life in prison or the the death penalty. He was 14. Don't be fooled by the age he weighed almost 200 pounds and he knew what he was doing. I have forgiven him and I have told him that but I don't believe he should ever be paroled. I believe with all my heart he would do it again. I also believe he has unfinished business with me, business he didn't get to tend to that day. Although I have forgiven him my business with him is also unfinished. I'm a single mom would he come after my teenage daughters if he gets out? Would he come after me because after all I'm the one he wanted to begin with? Forgiveness doesn't mean pardon in my book. He has killed my family, and I was never the same person again after this. I wish I could forget but I now that's unrealistic. I just want to be normal but there is no normal after something like this happens. This is forever, even after all these years forever doesn't seem real to me. I will never see her in a wedding dress or be her maid of honor, I will never be an aunt, I will never see her fall in love, or hear her talk about her first kiss because she never had one. I wish things had been different and that I had been the one at home that day. So much would be different right now, she would still be alive and maybe I could have been strong enough or mad enough to fight him off myself. I can't go back in time and change it even though I try to in my head all the time. He really wanted me he told me and everyone that in court that day so I will always live with the the knowledge that if it hadn't been for my poor judgement she would still be here. I wish I could change it all, I wish I had been the one there that die, I wish I had been the one to die because in all actuality it really should have been me there that day not her.