This will be my first Thanksgiving without Joel and I am feeling depressed and close to tears as I sit here thinking about all the other Thanksgivings that we had together. I see him in my minds eye sitting across the table from me and he is saying a prayer thanking god for giving us the day together and for all the food sitting there before us. He looks up with a smile and begins to carve the turkey. I like white meat he likes dark . I make sweet potatoes every year but he won't eat them. He doesn't care for them but that's o.k. I do and will eat his share. He loves pumpkin pie but only since I started baking them from scratch for him when we first met. For weeks before Thanksgiving he continually asked me to make him his pumpkin pie. Oh, and "make sure you buy the Cool Whip" he would say. The depression is starting to ease a little now and I am filled with all of the wonderful thoughts I have just mentioned. Somehow they are comforting. I think that maybe he is looking down and helping me through this holiday. I sure hope so. Gee, how I miss him. "I love you Joel and have a happy Thanksgiving honey".