My wife Tami died on December 8, 2014.  My life changed completely that day.  I lost the love of my life, my partner in everything, and the one person that knew and understood me best.  A giant hole opened in my world and has yet to close.  I am not lost without my wife.  I am capable of doing all the things that I must to go on.  Yet everything I do seems incomplete without her to share it.  It has been almost four months now, but it feels like yesterday.  I no longer cry when I see her picture, but my heart still sinks when I want to touch her or talk to her or just watch her move.  I know that I am surviving.  I still go to work, I shop, I see friends and family, I have new routines at home.  My life appears normal.  Yet inside I feel the loss of my wife like it just happened today.  I no longer question when it will get better, when it will pass or when I'll get over it.  I know now that I never will.  I may eventually find peace, or move on to another stage in my life.  But this loss can never be recovered.  So I will accept it.  I will love the memories, and appreciate the wonderful years we shared.  I will let the tears run when they come and laugh when the moment is right.  I lost my wife. But I will never lose my love for her.