thinking about you

I haven’t posted anything for a few days. I’m setting here at home having crying spells and feeling like I’m dieing. I’m looking at Marqs pictures and feeling an emptiness in my soul. I still cant believe that Marq is gone and on top of that I am trying to greave for my mom to. She past away on 1-18-13 and Marq past away on 2-24-13. I miss them so so bad and I feel like I don’t know how to live with out them. I don’t want to watch anything on TV or do anything. I just feel so empty without the two most important people in my life. I don’t want to think about the feature because I cant see one because they have been in my life every step of the way. And now that way doesn’t exists any more and that is so frightening.

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Comment by Kelly ~ Caitlin's mom on March 26, 2013 at 3:00pm: Hi Steven; I happened upon your blog and I just wanted to check on you and see how you are doing. I am so sorry about Marq and for the pain you are living. While I have not lost my soul mate I did lose my 16 year old daughter not quite 5 years ago and know the road is hard to haul. I also lost my mom 6 month before my daughter and feel like I never had a chance to grieve for her because I lost Caitlin so soon after she passed. It is hard when the person you'd turn to for comfort and peace is gone too.

I have no words of wisdom for you, I wish I did. I am certain nothing I would say could ease your pain right now. I understand totally not being able to watch your shows or listen to your music. I still have a hard time with some of that. Time will NOT heal this wound but it does temper the pain and someday you will find life is good again. Moving forward is terrifying and not feeling guilty when you do learn to laugh again is a tough one to get past. But you find a way. I just wanted to make sure you are ok. your post was sad and so I send you a virtual hug. I am sorry for your loss and I hope you find peace and comfort. I am sure your mom and Marq are watching over you. Take care.

Kelly