I just lost my big brothet on the 14 of april he was 36 years old was but was also useing and drinking and he hung him self. he did write notes that he was going to do it on his bday which was the 18. and ever since i saw tje note i would come to my paremts house everyday and tell my brother that i love him and i would even take all the ropes from tje house. we even made plans for his bday for me to make him spagetti with extra chesse amd drink. i know he not suffering anymore but why i just dont get it. im tryimg to be tjere for my parents and other sibling which they are all older then me im trying to be there for my son. but there all pushimg me away i feel it like my opions dont matter. im just te drama queen who dwells they say.