I have read a number of postings and replys as I find time to come here and try to find some type of closure, some kind of understanding, or some part of reason for just me. I'm not trying to be selfish, just trying to find closure. A loss, is a loss, is a loss, and each of us react as each of us are unique. Still, I'm finding out that I'm not alone, BUT unique, takes me one step further towards a healing understanding. I am human, and I am a male, out numbered, yet equal in life's loss. I grieve as individually as I am, and I look for answers just as all of you. Still, I know that one day, with God's grace, I shall join my loved ones who have gone before me, no matter what their age. I cry, I pain, I grieve, I sorrow, I yell, I scream, I bawl, and I ask why...why...why??? I miss his smile, I miss his laugh, I miss his boo-boos, I miss his hugs, I miss HIM.... Dear God, help me understand why him and not me....