Today I sit knowing my life will never be the same. The places I go, the people I see all remind me of you. My reality is forever changed. 

   I don't know how to move on or even if I really want to. I feel a tugging deep in my soul. I believe God is attempting to open doors for me and I'm afraid to go through. Without you by my side life is scary and change even more so.

   Every time I begin to open my life and move forward I become immobilized and jump right back into my comfort zone. Where there is warmth, love and understanding. Where memories of you abound. Where I am comforted by the only person that really understood me and accepted me just for who I am. At times irrational and a little crazy... You loved me anyway!!

   You were funny and oh so lovable!! The smartest man I've ever had the good fortune to meet. Even in your intelligence life was kinda crazy and hard for you too. Your struggles are now over and I am happy you now run with the angels.

    Until we meet again my love and we will. I remain caught up in this vortex of life. Dropped into one abyss after another. I will continue to fight and claw my way out knowing I have hope in Jesus Christ my Savior.

    When I am surrounded by a mist so dense I can't penetrate it, and feeling like our love is there lost inside I remember a scripture.... James 4:14 " Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away."

    Walk with me in my dreams tonight because today I still choose you. Missing and loving you always.......,

     Your Wife






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