A few years ago on a day when our family was together, my 3 daughters and I discussed how everyone in the family seemed to be doing what they wished, & were where they wanted to be. My youngest daughter was married to a man she loved who was retired from an airline and did for her most anything and everything she wished. They did not have children and were free to travel as they pleased. They owned a home in California but were living in southern France, traveling at will with airline privileges. She was "at home" in California with us frequently and was extremely happy. My middle daughter was happily married with 2 grown, married children. My oldest daughter was comtemplating marriage to a man she had "re-met" and known since 4th grade. My grandaughter was busy having chidren which was what she had dreamed of since she was a little girl. My grandson was married and his job had taken them temporarily to live in Australia. I was married (at that time for 14 years) to to a great guy who had been my high school boyfriend. My daughters and I on that day, realized we were all in a very good place in our lives.

August 11, 2009 my youngest daughter died of pancreatic cancer. On March 1, 2010 my oldest daughter died after losing her battle with liver cancer. There are of course, no words to express my grief. It is the worst pain I could have ever imagined.

However.......there was a day a few years ago when we were together and realized "this is as good as it gets." I hope everyone recognizes these wonderful moments in their lives because the next few moments could and may change everything. I am so happy we knew that brief period of complete happiness before we lost it forever.

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Comment by Carrie L on April 15, 2011 at 6:30pm
Shirley love to you and all of us facing this horrible tragedy and pain. I am so thankful you were all happy once upon a time. I am over a year now also and the pain is unbearable. last night i had a dream i was killed shot in the stomach but i woke up so don't know if i died. i am trying to get with him. not to die but feel so horrible.. wish he had not.. carrie l
Comment by Deamie Roome on January 18, 2011 at 9:35am

 So while they were out to dinner.  Shirl told her Father that she thought she was going to die young..  Of course David said Shirl stop talking foolish.. .. He did not tell Lacey and I this until months after she passed.  It makes the hairs on my neck stand up every time I think of it..


I  always believed I was so blessed..  I was lucky enough  to be able to stay home and raise my daughters.  My whole life is for them..  its been broken.   It just never will work without my Shirley Girl..


I stay strong for Lace because she deserves a happy and whole life.  


Thank you for listening and my thoughts and prayers are with you..

Comment by Jeff Justus on January 3, 2011 at 6:06pm
Shirley ...your story is so sad. To go from the apex of your lives to what I would now consider a very low point is so terribly tragic. I have a real difficult time dealing with my son and to lose two wnderful daughters in less than a year would seem so very hard to deal with. Thanks for sharing your story. Sometimes you feel as if you're doing this alone and then I read post on this site and realize that I'm not alone in my sorrrow. I really hope that everyone on this site can meet in the next life ...with our children and have a complete opposite feeling that we each bear at this time.
Comment by shirley zurschmeide on December 18, 2010 at 3:38pm

Losing one child is awful but two OMG I am so sorry for you.  Life is hard and some times there are people who go thru life and never feel the pain that we do.  Never in my life did I thought I would  lose my son.  This happens to other people not us. I can still remember that day as if it was yesterday.  I"m so sorry for lost of your two daughters.




Comment by Terri Kuta on December 16, 2010 at 2:54pm

Thank you for sharing your story it is so true we have to remember the good places we were in our lives with our lost love ones, my husband works out of town 6 days a week and my other 3 children have moved out so it was just Jonathan and me at home most of the time, we always had movie night most times we watched the television show bones we have stayed up all night one night with nexflex watching all them in one night but that is what i treasure the most a 17 year old senior who would tell everyone sorry its movie night with mom can't go out tonight, I miss those nights so much but at least I had them for awhile

Comment by Donna Meyers on November 27, 2010 at 8:06pm
Thank you for your kind words. I read your story, and I am so sorry that you have lost two children. I have been so full of grief these last 3 weeks over my son, and now I see there are so many of us suffering through this. I have always known just how precious it was to have my family.. as I lost my mom at 47 and first husband at 24... so I went about creating memories and nagging to have everybody home at holidays, etc.. I always did this thinking it would be me dying first and leaving them someday. Nothng prepares us for losing a child. I hope we can all survive and make some sense out of our lives.
Comment by Mary Ann Squires (Macs) on November 27, 2010 at 1:46pm
Shirley, Thank you so much for your kind words, they bring me much comfort. I am so very sorry for the loss of your 2 beautiful daughters. I have no idea how you have been able to cope with this. I know just talking with others have helped me. It doesn't change the pain I constantly feel because I loss my beloved son it just helps it to be more bearable. I really would love to talk you more as I see you as a very strong lady to have gone through the loss of 2 daughter. A really big hug sent your way. Macs (Mary Ann)
Comment by Cathy Pearly on November 20, 2010 at 5:19pm
Shirley...I can't begin to know how hard it is to have lost 2 children! The Christmas music always gets to me...especially I'll Be Home For Christmas"...ahhhh I just want to scream to tell people to turn it OFF! But I can always hear the words I don't want to in my head even after it is off...I'll be home for Christmas...if the fates allow" I am tearing up now...the fates didn't allow....It sucks! I do remember the good times..and will never forget...but it doesn't change the fact that instead of celebrating the holidays we are just surviving them.
Comment by Lorie on October 1, 2010 at 7:07pm
Shirley, I am so sorry for your loss. The pain from losing one child is so deep, I just dont know how I would be losing 2. I know we all must do whatever it takes to get through each day, but threre are so many of my days that I dont even remember. I miss my daughter so much and my heart aches daily. I am so tired of medicines that block out so much of my life, but I also dont know how to go on without it. The doctor tells me stress is a slow killer. I just dont know how to deal with losing a child. Life will just never be the same.
Comment by CHERYL on August 10, 2010 at 7:59pm
Shirley, I am so sorry for your loss, I cannot even imagine losing two children. On March 1, 2010 my son died also. My husband and I live everyday with a broken heart. Sometimes I think I might die of a broken heart. Everyone thinks we should be better. No one knows what it is like to lose a child unless it happens to them. The only thing that helps us is going to see my other son who lives 10 hours away, and even then I feel sad because I think about how my other son should be with us. He always came with us to visit his brother. God helps us the most and his Holy Spirit gives us comfort. We were christians before, but we rely on God to hold us up everyday now. We need Him more than ever before. Sorrowfully, Cheryl

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