Hi Barbara, I still come to this site not many people post anymore. My daughter Brittney Lynn Beckley my only child. Her 10th Anniversary in heaven is approaching. 11/19/09. Some days I still can't believe it. I miss her so much. I hate this time of year.  I get so down, but I know Brittney would want me to go on and be strong.  It's really hard.

Hello Barbara.  Nice to hear from you.  I am still around but very seldom get on this site,   I do check every once in awhile but it seems it is stuck on just a few people posting and no new people.  I was a little disappointed in how the posts were going so I faded out of this site.   I still am in contact with 5 people that I started with 6 long years ago but we keep in contact by Facebook site now.  Thank you for thinking of Donny.  His girls (3) are really growing up and two have babies of their own.  I am now a great grand mother twice.  We see them as much as we can as 2 are in another state.  The oldest one stayed in CA when this all happened so we always see her and our precious baby girl.  Again thank you for thinking of me and wishing you a peaceful and healthy 2016.

Susan Donnys Mom forever

Hi Barbara I just saw your post. I'm not sure how to log on and leave comments. I read these posts daily. It does help.  I know the pain of your losing a child; Brittney was my only child. Lost her suddenly.  On 11/19 it will be 6 years. Still so hard to believe. I read your posts and they really give me strength.

Barbara, thanks for your gentle nudge in this quiet domain. I'm sorry for your loss, and can only imagine what your 5-year journey has been. Each of us has a different story, a different situation and thus a different experience. It was just a year ago now that our packing and preparing for a long distance move was underway, a new direction for us, a new beginning after many challenges through the years. We had survived them together, and now things were coming together. Grub made the drive in spite of an injury and a couple of compounding health problems, but he was so weakened from the effort he struggled to recover in our new home. I was with him as he took his last breath Nov 6. in hospice care. It all was a whirlwind, and suddenly I was alone for the first time in my life, dealing with this and some other life events that soon followed. It took a couple of months, but the emotions caught up with me, and now I'm a different person. My outlook on the future and my expectations of life are different.  Maybe I'll get beyond it and find a new life, if that's meant to be. And if I don't then it won't be for lack of effort.  Either way, it's not in my hands.

To answer your question, I'm the one in yellow, Grub is in blue. That was our first "ussie" taken in the summer of 01 shortly after we met.  Our faces are red from a day at the beach with his two kids who had just arrived for a summer visit.   I miss those days, and I'm also thankful to have lived them.  

Brad

Happy Birthday to your son Joe 8/19/2015. May happy memories of your son fill your heart today. Kathy Manning.

Hi Barbara, my name is Kathy Manning in live in Rochester, NY. On 11/19/2009 I lost my only child suddenly at the age of 20. Brittney Lynn Beckley. I read the post daily on this web-site seeking mothers that have lost their only child. I read your posts and it encourages me to go on. The pain and emptiness I feel sometimes, makes me want to give up. But somehow I manage the strength to go on. I live for Brittney's memory. I know she wouldn't want me to give up. Just wanted to say thank you for your posts. I will continue to read them. My email address is kmanning@democratandchronicle.com

thank you so much for your comments . your story inspires me and reminds me just how lucky i am compared to what others like yourself experienced .  so sorry 4/5/10 was a terrible day for u as well. just reminds me why we should always heal our own emotional near mortal wounds my helping others

 Hi Barbara, I read your comment on my comment page & enjoyed it, thank you. I too just last week saw the movie on HBO concerning Norman V. Peale, "One Man's Way." Strangely, I had never seen it before. I knew however that Dr. Schuller had  patterned his beliefs of positive thinking  on him. Where I live (in Seal Beach Ca.) is just a few miles from the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove, Ca. I had been there & heard him speak  many times & had been to the Christmas & Easter pageants there which were spectacular. He was a wonderful speaker & writer & Southern Calif. is going to miss him terribly. After he spent his whole life building the church, due to financial mistakes  his family made the Cathedral went into bankruptcy a couple of years ago. The Catholic church bought the property & it is now a Catholic church called "Christ's Church. Dr. Schuller's health had been failing for several years & to my knowledge, he was never fully aware of the tragedy of losing "his" church.

Positive thinking has always been my belief also & I think that is how I've gotten through losing  2  of my 3 daughters. I would never have believed that I could cope with that but I did & I am still a positive thinker. I remember when you joined this unfortunate group. My youngest daughter Lisa, died in August,09 & my oldest daughter died March 1st, 7 months later in 2010 both of cancer.

I looked in the computer white pages to see if I could  find your phone number in NJ but to no avail. I wish you well & we'll try to have a good Easter.  Love, Shirley
 

Both Tami and I just want this site to be a comforting compassionate place people can come to vent, ramble, advise or whatever they need to do.  It is for all.....we have only had one other issue in this group and oddly one person was involved in that issue too.  That is why I advised to "step away from computers, deep breathe, get OUTSIDE, take a class, read.....don't make this site your life.!"   Hopefully we all can get back on track and if two individuals want to have a healthy conversation between the two they will go to email or a private conversation rather than on the main board.... I think that will help.  Take care and enjoy the days to come.  Good chatting with you. 

I did see Tami post again so let's hope the crisis is over.

Susan

Morning Barbara.  No I know you are not complaining about the email alerts.  I feel you are a total positive asset to this site.  I don't know how it got to this point of such complaining and bickering.

You always have great advice of helping the new members to forge forward in their lives.

Poor Tami is just an normal everyday person who started this site to pour our her grief when she lost her young son.  When prombels arise (which for the most part they don't) she and I privately email each other on how to deal with it.  As far as I know only ONE person out of these thousands of member has had to be removed. There was too much negativity coming from her posts.

It is a great site, it helped me get through my sorrow and grief and go on with my life without my son.  I too lost an adult son, like you. Doesn't make it any easier that we had many years with them, it is still a tragic loss. 

Hopefully this ridiculous issue of too many email alerts cn be settled and the good positive vibes can return to this site.  I know Tami is so disappointed at the moment.  I don't want her to shut down the site and so many new members are connecting to each other and that is all good.

Both of us know where the trouble is and hopefully it can be resolved without someone getting blocked out of the site. 

Have a good day Barbara.

Susan

hi barbara,thanks so much for the return email. how ironic. i have a sister named barbara. she lives in mt.view california.

so sorry about your son. it seems that today there is so much drunk driving

try and have a great day tomorrow

I hope you are doing better. Grief is a full time job.

Why is it every time I try to post a picture where the leaf is I get an error message? Can You help me post the picture?

Thank you,

Absolutely I will accept you as a friend!

Thank you for the help with that!

Thanks Barbara, wasn't sure if this is a Public forum or Private, it will be 3 years on 15th so very hard. My husband had emergency leg amputation 2 days before he passed so was dealing with extreme loss.