JoAnn Brozowski's Comments

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At 10:29am on February 18, 2011, Janet - Todd's Mom said…

Hi Joanne,  Just checking in with you to say "hi" and hope your day is going okay.  Has it been any better since you returned to work?  I don't mean that work can lessen your feelings of grief, only that your mind is occupied thinking of something else for awhile.  At least that's how I find it.  My "work" is very different than most.  After many years of being unhappy in administrative assistant positions in an office, I began walking dogs in 2003.  The first year I worked for another woman.  When she retired and moved to NC, I started on my own.  One of my first dog owners in 2004 asked if I could walk her large dog off leash in the woods near her house.  These woods are a 2500-acre urban park just outside of Boston bordering 5 towns (including ours), so I told her yes, of course!  It was a great experience and I soon met many people out walking their dogs in these woods.  Many started asking me if I could walk their dogs when they couldn't, and that's how I began doing work that I love.  For a few hours a day, my focus is totally on the safety of my dogs, and watching them having fun, which makes me laugh.  Of course, after I bring the last one home or sooner, my heart stops when I remember what happened to Todd.  One day, I really thought I would have a heart attack as we were leaving the park, the pain was that bad.

You mentioned that you worked for the same company as your son.  That must have been nice.  When Todd was going to U MA, I had gone back to school to study gerontology.  We would meet sometimes in the halls and always in the cafeteria to drive home together.  It was fun.  We always had fun together.

Now, emptyness and sorrow, just like you said.  I think I'm going to start a journal of all of the fun times we had with Todd.  I probably won't write about his struggles making friends in his earlier years because of his very very slight autism, which wasn't diagnosed till he was 28.  It makes me too sad.

Love Janet

At 10:29pm on February 14, 2011, Ronda Johnston said…
Hello JoAnn, Hey I noticed back in Jan,  I wrote to a woman name Laurie & sent it to you....  oh I'm sorry, I'm just not myself,  lol  Sorry again..... How are you JoAnn? I hope your well, me? not to good, today on Valentines day it has been 8 months since Sean has been gone, I'm so sad!!!! well please write when u have time.  Hugs to u & your family.  Love, Ronda
At 11:16am on February 14, 2011, Ann said…

Dear Joanne,    Sometimes I think I will never adjust.  I have recently been going to a grief counsellor and it has helped a very tiny bit but that is better than nothing!!  I remember the ccandlelight vigil we had for Michael on his angel day.....over 100 showed up.  Now it's about time to think about birthday....it's in June but I like to be prepared.

Love to you and Tyler,

Ann

At 11:15am on February 14, 2011, Laurie said…
thank you !! HUggs back:((
At 11:01am on February 14, 2011, Ann said…

Hi Joanne,

Just stopping in to say hi and how are you.  I pray for all of us every day and one day we will see our babies again!

Love, Ann.....Michael's mom

At 2:30pm on February 11, 2011, Janet - Todd's Mom said…
Hi Joanne,  Just thought I'd say hi today and hoping you're feeling as good as can be expected.  I've been crying a lot this past week.  I almost feel as though I just found out and inside I'm screaming "NO NO NO. This is just a terrible nightmare and I wish I'd wake up from it".  Inside, I'm feeling scared again.  My husband, daughter and I never realized just how much Todd held all of us together with his sense of humor.  It's hard to be angry with anyone when you're laughing.  Thankfully, our daughter gets along very well with my husband.  Many times she seems slightly annoyed with me.  Todd and I never had annoyed feelings with each other.  We just naturally got along very well, without thinking about it.  My heart is broken, as I'm sure yours is too. I'm glad we've become friends.  Love and hugs, Janet
At 3:58pm on February 10, 2011, valerie moore said…
dear jo anne, to me, the loss of a child due to drug abuse, is such a useless passing. ( just cant use death, or dead, or die) my son was using marijuana since around 12. he knew his dad rejected him and i believe that started the drug abuse.  plus he was ADHD.  he  managed ok for a long time just smoking pot.he got a GED, held jobs. but when he turned 20 or so, i think the other drugs began also with alcohol. i just went downward from there.  i just dont know how i will live without him ... i miss him so very much.  we had nick names for each other... he is the love of my entire life. love, your friend,  valerie
At 11:43am on February 10, 2011, valerie moore said…

joanne, i am so sorry to hear that your only child also passed from a drug overdose.  its such a preventable loss, however my dusty just could not beat the demons , some days he tried, but at the end, he told me he wasnt ready, my heart was absolutely broken for him.  all the previous years i prayed and prayed that God would heal him, but instead God took him, to a peaceful place, heaven, where he would finally be free from his demons and finally have some happiness //  but... like you, dusty was 25, same age as your son, and my only child.  if you dont mind me asking, what did your son overdose on?  dustys drug of choice was cocaine./ however the toxicology report indicated that he had: marajuana, cocaine, alcohol and morphine.  what a cocktail?  i am thankful that God took him in his sleep.  he felt no pain, just God offering his hand to him, and dusty knew and accepted Gods offer.  i was proud of my dusty, however, your right, it left me here with a "sentence of hell" for the remainder of my life. i am thankful for this site.  a site of all of us unfortunate people that have come together to help each other i am blessed for that.   love, valerie

At 6:18am on February 10, 2011, cathy riley said…

Dear Joann,

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement.  It is sad that we have to meet under these conditions.  But, thank God there is a place like this where we can vent anytime we need to.  I have been waiting for Christopher to come to me in a dream, but so far when I close my eyes I see things I do not want to see.  I am looking foward to the day I can have only good memories of Christopher, instead of the pain and saddness I fill everyday now.  Talk to you soon.  Cathy (Chris' Mom)

At 8:31pm on February 8, 2011, Lisa Halsey said…

Joann my name is Lisa ive been walking this jouney for 2yrs 3months now and it is very hard for me i cry all the time it is natural we will never forget the death of our children my son Daniel he was 21 when he was killed in a car accident due to texting and driving and he would want me to talk about him he was a handsome young man he would of done anything for anybody as long it makes me feel better this what keeps me going to talk about my son i was so very proud of him he was in college and was on a football scholorship he was a good athalete he was be looked at from scouters to play in the NFL that was his dream and he did accomplished alot for his age there will never be another Daniel he was one of a kind i miss you baby boy. All of our children are all together until we meet them again. Huggs to you all Lisa Daniel's mom

At 6:35pm on February 8, 2011, Phil's Mamama said…

I just read what you what written. . .no simple sentence expresses my feelings more.  Thinking of you.

 

Phils Mamma

At 2:52am on February 4, 2011, Donna Flanary said…
JoAnn... I do understand what you mean.  There are times that I just keep looking for him.  At times, it is as though I can hear him say hey mom....I still have a hard time looking at his pictures.  I just want my baby to come home.  I miss him so much.  Jo
Ann I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  I just went and put down the money for his stone.  Fiances are bad and still paying on his funeral. I know this is the last thing he will need from me and it is just so hard.  so give yourself a big hug for me and know that although they are gone they will forever live in our hearts.
At 2:52am on February 4, 2011, Donna Flanary said…
JoAnn... I do understand what you mean.  There are times that I just keep looking for him.  At times, it is as though I can hear him say hey mom....I still have a hard time looking at his pictures.  I just want my baby to come home.  I miss him so much.  Jo
Ann I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  I just went and put down the money for his stone.  Fiances are bad and still paying on his funeral. I know this is the last thing he will need from me and it is just so hard.  so give yourself a big hug for me and know that although they are gone they will forever live in our hearts.
At 11:40pm on January 28, 2011, Ronda Johnston said…
Hello Laurie, How are you? Me... I'm not doing well, this week was so very hard for me I couldn't even go to wk, My son's x girlfriend just found out about Sean and came over & spent 4 hours with us & it just opened up the wound again... I just don't know what to do, it's so hard I HURT LIKE HELL!!!!!    How are you Laurie?  Are you doing okay?  I understand u want to help you other son before it is out of control, I pray for you both, I hope he does get help!!!!  where in Calif does he live?? I live 3 hours south of Vegas in Apple Valley.   Its so hard when they don't want help, My son said he can do it on his own & he couldn't & it got the best of him,  Now I don't have my son anymore and it HURTS, so I pray your son gets help!!!!   keep writing Laurie..... Hugs, Ronda
At 6:50am on January 28, 2011, Laurie said…
Joshua was 21 in dec of 09 in Jan of 10 is when we found the cancer due to a cough. He battled the cancer for 13 months, :(
At 6:50am on January 28, 2011, Laurie said…
Joshua was 21 in dec of 09 in Jan of 10 is when we found the cancer due to a cough. He battled the cancer for 13 months, :(
At 2:30pm on January 27, 2011, Anita Chavez-Daveys mom said…
Sending hugs and loves to you. 
At 7:56am on January 26, 2011, Janet - Todd's Mom said…
Hi JoAnn,  Hope you are doing okay today, at least as much as is possible.  For me, I find that the days before my son's angel day and birthday are actually harder than the actual day itself...I don't know why this is.  Perhaps because every day I'm always sad and in a lot of pain over his losing him, as I know that you are too about losing your son.  I had to change my son's picture because my husband joined this site and, when he saw Todd's picture, he said, "Todd didn't even like beer".  Personally, he loves the photo because we know what the expression on his face meant, "ick", but he thought others wouldn't understand.  Anyway, I thought perhaps this might make you smile today..I'll be thinking of you all day because of this date. Love, Janet
At 10:06pm on January 25, 2011, Colleen Pasay said…

Joann:

Just a note to say I will light  a candle for your beautiful son Tyler tomorrow. My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you.

Hugs

Colleen

 

At 9:07pm on January 25, 2011, Cathy said…

Then tomorrow will be one year for you. Please know that you're in my prayers and I will be thinking of you tomorrow too. I don't know much about mediums so I can't really comment but I'm glad you received comfort.

 

Yes, the wedding was bitter sweet, but my husband and I tried to let go and be fun that evening for our youngest son for it was his special day even if his brother wasn't there. We've had so many family gatherings as we had a nephew that got married in December as well. There have been engagement parties, etc. and each event was very hard because our son should have been there. Seeing his wife all alone too is also hard. We love her so much and it breaks our hearts to see her trying to cope. Again, I will think of you tomorrow.

Cathy

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