Honored to be your friend. My son also left young girls behind. At the time they were 16, 14, and 13. Gosh we miss him so bad. The oldest one is now having a baby in Sept. We all wish he was here to be a new grand father of a baby girl.
First I am sorry for the loss of your son Jeremy.....I too lost a son. A little older but a son so loved. These holidays are brutal for all of us....I figure 2 more weeks and all this "pressure of the holidays" has passed. Nothing will change but the pressure should lesson on putting on happy faces.
I love your tattoo....and if it makes you feel good then that is why we are all getting them. We will never ever forget our wonderful kids.....
I am so sorry to read your story.Those were nice pics you have,he is beautiful, the skateboard shot was perfect.Jeremy seems like a very caring father.
My son Jim lost his life at 19, on a motorcycle. July 5 2006. I tortured myself just thinking about the horror, pain, last thoughts, did anyone comfort him those last moments, etc.being a mom we want to have our children bypass all the pains in the world. it took a long time to get.. I guess to the next level of the grief cycle..if that is what it is called...I only go to another chapter of this hell..grief..but I am moving on..I guess when I die the grief will end !
May you find comfort, at least writing with other parents who suffer the same fate.
Hi Debbie...thank you for leaving me a comment. I appreciate your thinking of me. I do believe that both of our sons are skating in the heavens. Ian so loved skateboarding! It was his life when he wasn't working. It will be 5 years soon...(sigh). Sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday & then others it seems so distant. It's been so long since I've seen his smiling face or heard his wonderful laugh. Hugs for you...Marcy
Debbie...thank you so much for reading about my son, Ian, and for sharing Jeremy's story with me. The photo of him skateboarding is a great shot! I am so sorry for your loss. Ian loved riding motorcycles, too. In fact, he owned one....funny thing, he always wore a helmet when he rode his bike. I tell myself all the time..at least Ian died doing something he loved. Helps sometimes, others not so much. I am almost 5 years into this journey and it is a very hard one. Ian's death has changed me and my life forever. Thank you again for writing to me & please keep in touch....Marcy (Ian's Mom)
debbie, i am so glad that you, and your son are in a good place now...he loves you, and it will be better for the two of you in time..i think when a tragedy happens families sometimes stop communicating with each other , and try to hold the pain in, and it just makes the pain, and heartache the much worse.. i am still not in a very good place, but i continue to talk to robby, and he will help me get through this..there is a song i would like for you to listen to "your not alone" by melissa andrews", and a slng by steven curtis chapman "with hope" they are very strong, and spiritual..there are so many others, but maybe these will touch your heart, which i am sure they will..debbie, talk to jeremy, and he will listen....take care, and bless you every day..tammy e
DEBBIE, I HAVE HAD SOME BAD DAYS LATELY TOO.. I THINK THAT THIS PAIN WILL NEVER STOP. WE HAVE TO JUST KEEP GOING ON, AND BELIEVING THAT IT WILL EASE SOME IN TIME...I DO KNOW THAT I WILL NEVER BE THE PERSON I WAS BEFORE THIS TRAGEDY, IT REALLY CHANGES WHO WE ARE OR WERE...I CONTINUE TO PRAY THAT YOU, AND YOUR SON WILL BECOME CLOSER FROM THIS LOSS, AND I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT WILL HAPPEN...YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, YOU ARE SO IMPORTANT, AND JEREMY WOULD WANT YOU TO..HE IS WATCHING OVER YOU DEBBIE THAT I TRULY BELIEVE..I KNOW ROBBY IS LOOKING OVER ME TOO...TAKE CARE, AND BLESS YOU EVERY DAY.. TAMMY E
debbie,i am sorry to hear that your son is upset with you..i feel like i have been a litle more needy with my other son too, but that is to be expected under the circumstances..we have lost a huge piece of ourselves, and we are lost right now. hopefully our other children will be able to withstand us needing to be close to them, and understand our desire to be near them..maybe they think that we are so much into our grieving that we don not see what they need. they lost their brothers, and they are grieving too, maybe just in a different way than us as the mother...i wanted to release balloons on robby's birthday, but everyone was too sad to do anything so i prayed, and lit a candle, and cried all day...please know i am here for you, and i hope you can talk to your son, and he can be there for you, and you for him...i think my son has been the strong one for all of us, and he hasn't had a chance to relly grieve for the loss of his brother, although he has told me that sometimes he takes time, and just thinks about robby, and how much he misses him..i guess i am just rambling on, and i don't know if i even help you, but i am here if you need to talk...take care, and god bless you, your friend tammy E
Debbie, i have read your story, and am so sorry for what happened to your son. He must have been quite a guy. i think we were so lucky to have been blessed with the son's we had or rather we will always have. we did a good job as mom's, and they did a great job as our son's..today i started crying, and crying could not hardly stop, i just don't know what to do with myself sometimes, i just feel so lost, and empty..every once in a while i will look at his picture, and see him smiling at me, and that brings joy to my heart, but then i wake up, and start crying again..i guess today is one of those days for me..i will be thinking about you, and jeremy on monday..take care of yourself, and god bless you..tammy E
Hi Debbie, Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you I have been sick so I have not been here much. It was 1 year on the 14th that my mom passed will be 1 year on Feb 14th since My baby Jason passed away and the next week 1 year since my brother passed away so you know my mind is going crazy.Also I had to tell my Dad last week that the dr. says he can't drive anymore and he is not very happy. Anyway I hope you are ok I think about you all the time Take care
No that is not terrible. The hardest thing that I have had to do since my mother passing in Jan and Jason's in Feb was when I had to go back to the same place within days to make arrangements and go through the whole thing with my brother. It is not easy to try to put your mind somewhere else when you have lost your baby. As I told you I have been talking to a lady at the church who lost her daughter. I found out today that she was right there when she was killed in a car wreck.Anyway she gave me a book that is a daily devotional reading. The name of the book is STREAMS IN THE DESERT. I have found it to be helpful and she also told me to get the book called HEAVEN and it will help you understand where your baby is and as much as we miss them I would not want mine back here on this earth for nothing. When you think about where they are and how beautiful it is and they are pain and worry free and just walking and talking with God and the angles.As the lady at the church(Teresa) put it why would we want them back here to live in this garbage dump we call earth. Don't get me wrong I miss my son so much and my heart hurts so bad that it is hard to think of anything else and I still cry everyday but I realize that I am crying for myself not him because he is where we all want to be someday. I am sorry about your aunt and that you had to go through that. I hope you are feeling a bit better now.
Hi Debbie,I have not been here in a while.I made it through the holidays and have been sick since New year's day. I don't know if I told you or not but I have been talking with a lady at the church that I go to.It is a big church so I did not know her but a girl that I went to school asked me to call her to see if she could help me sort through all the emotions that I have. Ihave seen her twice and she has help more than any of the others I have seen.Hope you are doing ok. Take care Cirie
I know...I thought about everyone here onLegacyConnect...It is so hard. I'm having a melt down from trying to be strong for the family cuz im so affraid that I'm gonna be a bummer to everyone. I just hate it so much...I get so angry sometimes.
I'm thinking about you....bless you.
Merry Christmas too you as I know the pain is still very hard for you & your family,I pray that you're able too see a little farther this year as I know Jeremy would not want you to get sick and that's what will happen if you continue to look at the circumstances & not the love you shared with your lovely son as I've read so much about him I know he had a love for you that's unbreakable& that alone should awaken your heart to a newness of life,don't stay down & let the devil get victory over you rise up & let him know that love conquers all and Jeremy's tradgic accident is not the end of Jeremy as you have your beautiful grandchildren to live for love all of the Jeremy in them & return the love that you gave him everyday as I seen he was a good son & father as I know his daughters must miss him something awful & I know they must see him in you & your husband.I pray that I said something too lift your Spirit & may just a little smile for Jeremy this Christmas help you thru too the New Year,May the coming days lift you up and carry you to heights you've never dreamed of & as you're lifted so will your family be too as they see the shell cracked & the real you doing things to reveal Jeremy's heart in front of them all. God Bless you is my prayer.
Firsy off you can have a pitty party any time you want and I will listen. I know what you mean about how people don't want to hear about our babies and like you my other son will not talk about it. The daughter in law is better right now because I called and ask her to see if the kids wanted to go to the cemetery with me and I ended up telling her I would pick them up from day care tomorrow and keep them until she gets off work Sat. afternoon. I am learning to put on my mask also because everybody thinks I am crazy and I should "be over it" so I just come here and talk to the very few people that willtalk about it. I hope your days get eaiser I will be thinking about you as always Cirie
I have been on a little vacation. I went to Orgon to see my parents with my sister. Just got back this morning. I hope you made it through the Holiday ok. It's so hard isn't it....I think about you too and others on this site. Know that..ok. God Bless
I have been thinking about you all day.I hope you are doing ok.As for me it has been so lonesome even tho I have my dad my oldest son and my husband. I t hurt so much for my daughter in law to exclude us this being the 1st and replaced us with her boyfriend who is a good friend of my son,his brother and his mom and dad. I know these things are going to happen but I though she would make it as close to usual as she could and maybe by next year they would be ok if we were not there.I'm not saying that she should not have had boyfriend,brother,mother and daddy over I think we are all adult enough to be able to mix and have a meal together.I don't know I just have so many emotions that I don't know which way to go. You know I did not just loose my baby in one months time I lost my mother,my son, and my brother. I am just lost. I stood in the cementary today and realized that I was standing in thre in the middle of the graves of more of my family that left this life this year than I have left here with me. I don't mean to sound so selfish I am very thankful for every blessing that I have but it sure is hard to get through all this. Anyway I hope your day has been better. I am so sorry for all your pain and I wish I knew how to make it go away for both of us. My thoughts are with you and it is so amazing that you are 100s of miles away and you understand me better than the people sitting right next to me. Thank you for being here to talk to. Cirie
I have been thinking of you too...The holiday's are so so hard. I spent the week end with my daughter and her family. My daughter is hurting so bad too...I told her about this site. I cried on my way home so hard and it felt so good, It kind of felt like my heart was so full of tears and that it needed to be punchured. the tears just flowed.. I hold so much in every day. I find it hard to even write about it but it helps at the same time. We need to hold eachother up in prayer for the holiday's. I know how hard the birthdays are too. Michael's was Oct. 20th. God Bless, Brenda