(((Barb))) My Phill left close to when your Brad did. Phill left Sept. 5,2009. My heart was ripped out , also. Most of the time I am up all night. Soon as I lay my head on the pillow, it all comes rushing back. I give up and just get up. I try to nap later. Several on here are putting together an online chat. Go to the id "hurting" She posts about it. Also on Kathy Ob( can't remember the rest of her last name), but if you scroll through posts on the main page you will not miss her name. Go to her page and you will see many are giving phone numbers. There is another Connie on the site and I went in and put an H. next to my Connie to avoid confusion. Her husbands name is Phil, also! My Phill used 2-L's. If you have verizon for your cell you can call me anytime, if not it is free on the weekends or after 9pm any week night 419-764-9386. My home phone is 419-727-9538. Many a time I wished I had a real voice to vent to, as many do here. Don't hesitate to call. If I am not home, leave a message and I will call you back. I am in Toledo, Ohio. Hugs, Connie H.
Barb, vent anytime you need it's not a problem and yes you are right they are not your friends. I am with you on calling people who don't have a clue how hurtfull they are when they say one thing and do another. I always say what goes around comes around I truelly don't know how people do that I could never. I was brought up that you treat people the way you want to be treated. well it's getting late and I will go for now I'll talk to you tomorrow
Hi Barb sorry it took so long to write back my computer was down the cable co. just came this a m. I know how you feel I was the same way when I came back what a mess and Iam back to the tears every morning and it is going on 15 months for me I also lost my husband to a massive heart attack just unbelievable we were together 32 yrs. and life really sucks now thank god for this site it really helps. I hope things get better for both of us actually for all of us. Write me anytime, Virginia
Jo, I know what you are feeling, I was there when they were working on Brad, I am an EMT and they wouldn't let me near him. They were workig on him and I begged them to let me help but they wouldn't. I don't know what I am going to do other than just give up I try to do all the yard work myself and after just working 9 hours outside today, the yard looks the worst its ever been. I just can't keep it up myself. I try so hard, but I'm so overwhelmed and I want everything to look as good as it used to when Brad & I did it together but its too hard for me to do. People say they will help but no one ever comes. I guess I'll just give up trying.
Thank you Kathy, I do hope someday soon he will come to me. The only way I sleep is to use the drugs that the doctor gave me. I sleep in his favorite lounging pants and t shirts just to feel the closeness. They say sunny days are good, but those are the worst because that's when we would go out and do fun things or just cruise in our collector cars. Now I see others doing the thing we are supposed to be doing and it hurts like Hell! That's my major meltdown time. Thanks for being there for me, and the others
BARB PEOPLE WOULD TELL ME THE SAME THING GO TO A GRIEF SUPPORT GROUP. FIRST OF ALL I DO NOT HAVE ANY AROUND WHERE I LIVE. I THEN CHOSE TO GO TO A THERPIST I WENT FOR AWHILE BUT I FELT THERE WAS NOTHING MORE I CAN TELL HER ABOUT MY MARRIAGE I FELT SHE WAS THE PATIENT AND I WAS THE DOCTOR. AFTER THIS I STOPPED GOING AND FOUND THIS SITE. I CALLED THE DOCTOR AND TOLD HER I WILL NOT BE COMING BACK BECAUSE I FOUND THIS SITE AND IT HELPED ME MORE HOPE YOU DO HEAR SOMETHING FROM YOUR HUSBAND SOON IT WOULD BE THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED I FEEL IF I CANNOT GO TO SLEEP I HAVE A BED IN GEORGES COMPUTER ROOM I THEN GO THERE AND I FEEL BETTER MAYBE BECAUSE I HOPE HE IS WATCHING OVER ME. BARB YOU KNOW YOUR HUSBAND IS WATCHING OVER YOU AND NOT WANTING US TO GO THUR WHAT WE ARE GOING THRU GEORGE KNEW SOMETHING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN BECAUSE ALL HE KEPT SAYING I HAVE NO LIFE INSURANCE (WHICH HE DID_ HE WANTED TO PAINT THE ROOMS AT OUR APT. AND HE CALLED ME ON MY CELL PHONE THE NIGHT HE DIED TO WALK THE AVENUE WITH ME THAT NIGHT HE PASSED AT 11:57
BARB: THANKS FOR GETTING BACK TO ME.KEEP THE FAITH SOON YOUR HUSBAND WILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING. MAYBE HE IS GOING THRU THE CHILDREN TO LET YOU KNOW HE IS OK I PRAYED EVERYDAY ALSO CRIED VERY ANGRY AND KEEP ASKING GOD PLEASE HAVE HIM COME TO ME AGAIN JUST TO LET ME KNOW HE WAS OK. I STILL CRY EVERYDAY I HAVE HIS PICTURE ON MY CELL PHONE AND KISS HIM EVERY MORNING TALK TO HIM EVERYDAY AND ASKING HIM WHY HE LEFT ME. IN GEORGES CASE HE DID NOT LIKE GO TO DOCTORS MAYBE BECAUSE MOST OF HIS FAMILY PASS WITH CANCER THERE WAS 8 CHILDREN THERE IS ONE LEFT. KEEP THE FAITH KEEP PRAYING LIKE I DID I DO NOT KNOW IF THIS IS REAL OR JUST BECAUSE I KEPT PRAYING HE WOULD SHOW ME A SIGN. IT IS A VERY LONELY FEELING BUT YOU KNOW WE HAVE THE CHILDREN GRANDCHILDREN TO KEEP US BUSY BARB IT WILL COME TO YOU WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT. I GO TO BED AND LOOK AT MY CURTAINS AND CHECKING THE DESIGN TRYING TO MAKE GEORGES FACE APPEAR ON IT. I ALSO WENT TO A THERPIST FOR A FEW SESSIONS BUT I FOUND THIS SITE WAS GOOD FOR ME BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE ARE GOING THRU THE SAME THING AS I AM
HI BARB: I JUST READ YOUR MESSAGE ON THIS SITE I ALSO LOST MY HUSBAND ON 3/1/09 GEORGE WAS NOT SICK AT ALL HE COMPLAINED OF A STOMACH THE NIGHT HE DIED ALSO COUGHING HE TOOK MYLANTA THINKING THAT WOULD HELP WE DID GET TO SAY GOOD NIGHT I LOVE YOU BUT THEN HE WAS GONE WITH A FEW MINUTES. WE ARE ALL GOING THRU THE SAME THING BUT WE GRIEVE DIFFERENTLY I TRY TO GET TO THE CEMENTARY EVERY WEEK BUT IT IS HARD FOR ME BECAUSE I DO NOT DRIVE ON THE HIGHWAY.THIS IS A GOOD SITE BARB I REMEMBER PRAYING FOR GEORGE TO COME TO ME AND TELL ME HIS IS OK I WOULD ASK EVERYDAY THEN I HAD A DREAM THAT HE CAME TO ASK ME WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM MY SON WAS WITH ME AND I REMEMBER MY SON ASKING DAD WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO QUIT SMOKING I REMEMBER GEORGE TELLING MY SON I DID NOT COME HERE TO HAVE YOU ASK ME WHEN I WILL QUIT SMOKING I AM HERE TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ME I EXPLAINED TO HIM WHAT HAD HAPPENED I STILL REMEMBER HIM COMING AND ASKING ME I STILL PRAY TO GOD AND ASK HAVE HIM COME TO ME AGAIN IN THE SUMMER TIME I WENT OVER MY SONS HOUSE FOR A BAR- Q WE STAYED OVER NIGHT MY SON AND THE TWINS I WENT TO SLEEP IN MY DAUGHERLAWS COMPUTER ROOM AND CLOSED THE DOOR MY GRANDDAUGHER WAS SLEEPING DOWNSTAIR ON THE COUCH I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND ASKED HER IF SHE CAME UP TO WHERE I WAS SLEEPING SHE SAID NO I SAID MAYBE IT WAS POP POP TELLING ME HE IS OK I FELT THE MOVEMENT LIKE HE WAS LAYING NEXT TO ME HE THEN DISAPPEARED. BARB YOUR HUSBAND WILL COME TO YOU AND IT WILL BE THE BEST FEELING THAT YOU HAD. GOOD LUCK
I can't understand why my husband who passed away in August of 2009 never comes to me in my dreams. I pray that I can just see him and his smile again and have him tell me he's okay, that he is happy, but I haven't had one dream about him yet. My daughters have had dreams with him a few times, but I don't. I want so much to close my eyes and have him come to me. When will this ever happen?
Thanks Bob, it is a very lonely feeling,I pray to God and everyday when I go to the cemetary I ask Brad to come to me in my dreams, but it has only happened once and that was just a few nights ago. I need to see him, I need him to tell me that he's happy. That was all we ever wanted was for each other to be happy, and we were! Now I don't even want to be happy, though everyone tells me Brad would want me to. Do you have children? I wish I had the magic want to wave and this would all be a bad dream.
I'll be thinking of you and hoping for some good days for you along the way.
I lost Brad very suddenly 8 months ago. He was feeling great, left the house to go to the store and just as soon as he left our subdivision died at the wheel of his car of cardiac arrest. We were together 24/7, we worked together, shopped together, got our hair cut together, did everything together. Now I am lost. When he died, a part of me went with him. I am not the same person as I used to be. I feel guilty if I have a day that isn't all tears, I don't want to be happy, but I'm miserable the way I am. I just want to be with him again. How do others handle this feeling of not being sure if you even want to be happy at all? If Brad could tell me one thing, I know he would want me to be happy, but I can't. I visit the cemetary every day and sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't. My feelings are so mixed up I don't know what to do without him. My future doesn't look very bright at all. Help?