Jackie,

I can't even imagine how hard it is for you to go in schools and talk about your loss.  I really admire you for doing that, you are helping so many people.

I may have told you this before, but while waiting for the autopsy on my daughter, I thought she could have accidentally taken too many Tylenol PM.  She popped them like candy for chronic pain to sleep and I was always worried about that.  People don't realize how dangerous over the counter and prescription drugs are, especially young people.  So I'm sure your message is helping someone.

I hope yesterday went fast for you.  The anticipation for the 1st anniversary day (Dec.6, 2010) was actually much tougher for me. It did help me to have a couple friends who remembered too (I thought I was the only one besides my family that remembered).  They didn't talk about it, but they did have flowers sent to me, which I thought was very nice.

I just wanted you to know you have been in my thoughts and I hope you're doing okay.  Hugs to you!

Hi Jackie.....I have looked all over my favorites and I guess I didn't save the main website's name, sorry.  I left my email on their page for further updates so when they email me back I will for sure forward it on to you.  The day they were talking about doing something was in March of 2012 so plenty of time.

Glad you are doing a little better!!

Susan

Morning Jackie, I hope you are doing a little better than your last posting.

I have to share something with you....I was reading the local news (in my area) on the main AOL page yesterday and there was a mother who lives in my town that was looking for volunteers for a Day of Remembrance for her son in March of 2012.  It is also in conjuction with Drug Awareness Month and especially precsription drugs and the dangers.  Seems she lost her 17 yr old son in December of 2009, just like me.  So I had a strong feeling to offer my services in that month and work with her.  March is also Donny's birthday so I felt like there were many signs here that I should pay attention.  I don't think I could have helped in any way in the beginning, just too much shock, anger and disbelief but that will be 27 months after our tragedy.

I will let you know how it goes and I do believe it is all throughout the US.  There is even a website I wrote down that has all the information about that day.  I can forward it to you, but only if you want to.

My prayers are with you and your family and hope you are feeling a little better and can eat again.

Hugs Jackie!!!  

Susan   Donny's Mom Forever

hi jackie,

i have clinical depression.  anti depressants WORK if you are on the right ones.  i have been on numerous kinds but i am now on a combination of 2 antidressants (2kinds after dusty passed) thats not to say, i dont have bad days, because i DO.. there is only so much antidepressants help.  in a situation like ours, they help only a bit,  better than nothing.  just thought i would write a positive note regarding depression... hugs, valerie

Jackie, Thinking about you and holding you in my heart. Lots of prayers.

Jackie, my heart is with you and your family.  My son died in a motorcycle accident in October of 2006.  He was 30 years old.  I do not believe that time heals all wounds, however, I do believe that time eventually carves our pain down to a point that we can deal with it without feeling that we're falling apart with no way of being put back together again.  As for the Methadone; my ex-husband was on Methadone, and it is a horrible, nasty thing. I almost would have rather seen him on the heroin.  My thoughts and prayer are with you and yours.  You are not alone...you have all of us here with you.  If you'd like, visit the site I set up in my son's memory.  The page called A Place Of Love is beautiful. The address is http; rncordova.bravehost.com.  That's r n, not m.

 

It does get better, and sometimes you have to fight to help yourself some.

There are times when you just don't feel you have the energy or inclination to fight, and that's when you really need to force yourself. That's when friends and family can really help.

If you need to vent, to cry, or just to talk, email me. I will be here for you, and will do everything I can to help. My email is susancaroltodd@hotmail.com.

 

Hugs to you and yours................................Susan

Jackie, in reading your post this morning I too had an experience similar to yours.  At first my husband and I did not go to many functions after Donny left us but about 9 mos after we accepted a wedding invitation that was an overnight in SF.  The groom was exactly the same age as Donny so I knew my emotions would be fragile.  I made it all the way thru the service till dinner and then we were at a table of 10 (thank goodness our good friends) and something was funny....well I went from laughing to tears.  Most didn't know what to do but one friend (who has lost her brother in a car accident the prior year) came over quietly, didn't say a word but put her arms around me and just hugged me tight.  It was exactly what I needed and as I sit here I still have tears come from her kindness.  Laughter, sadness, and anger are all common in some ways so when one comes the other is not far behind when we are in this fragle state.   You are still in the very beginning of your journey.  Luckily you are putting some strong effort into "getting the word out" that helps so much in the healing process.  

Hugs to you Jackie.....just take one day at a time....all we can do

Susan

This is my tattoo I got for my Donny

I am very happy I did this.....and I helped design what I wanted.

Susan

Morning Jackie.....I was just watching the news this morning in CA. and they were interviewing a couple that lost their young son to AOD.  In his case it was cocaine/Oxycodin.  They have started a foundation called, "Save a Star".  This has helped them heal a little and also honor their sons memory.  I checked the website out and it is very interesting.  I thought you might be interested in their mission, so much like yours.   I guess every single state is effected by this situation of recreation/prescription drugs available. 

Hope you are doing well today.  Know that all of us are very proud of what you are doing to getting the word out on these drugs.

Susan

Im so sorry for you're loss im outside missing my beloved son so much i went to his grave just to fel him close but where ever im at his always close miss him so my Prayers are with you all i know it is so hard God bless us keep strong

Jackie,

I saw the video you did and put on Utube.  I don't know how you did it, but it was amazing.  I hope that it gets distributed to Highschools all over.....as it is such an important message.  Thanks for doing it.  Great job....

Jackie, I watched the utube.  It was very touching.  Hopefully many will see and and realize the danger.  Praying for you as always

Jackie, I watched the utube.  It was very touching.  Hopefully many will see and and realize the danger.  Praying for you as always

I watched the utube Jackie.  It was wonderful and very touching.  Hopefully

any will watch it and realize the danger.

My email aliciasuarez54@gmail. Com any time

Jacke im so sorry for you're loss i lost my beloved son jesse on 7/12/09 and i miss him every day i know there is realy nothing nothing i can really say but i so sorry you miss him like i miss my beloved son jesse .i wich i could go back and do something different but i cant alicia miss u jesse

It does make sense Jackie. It's too much to deal with your own pain and rollercoaster of emotions, then to have someone else's lumped on top of it.  I wouldn't be able to stick it out. Her grief has brought her to a place we've all been.  I'm angry a lot, and I take it out on the wrong people, and for as much as I know that's wrong, it happens. One thing I will say, my job is stress to the point of insanity, but it is a huge help in allowing my mind to focus on something else. I agree with you that maybe you should ask for a new assignment. I hate my job, my boss is among the top 10 worst bosses, abusive, deranged and partially senile. But the chaos he causes is the only time I don't think about Tim. At first I felt guilty that I allowed something to take my focus off of him, now I see that my mind needs this to heal.  I wish you the best, whatever you choose.  I'm here for you when you need to talk, cry or vent.  *hugs*

I'm relieved to hear I'm not just losing my mind.  I think what upset me most though was how angry my father was with me and how nasty he was on the phone.  Why do I have to keep explaining this to him? It's not like he doesn't know. I think I'll just climb back into my little hole and forget the world a little longer.

Jackie,

Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you today, on the 4-month anniversary of your son's angel day.  Today, Sunday May 29th, is exactly two years since my son was suffering with an extremely bad cough & cold and sought the help of his doctor at 8am, so he wouldn't miss any time at work.  She told him, "You're not that sick".  "You don't have the flu or pneumonia".  She prescribed suppressant cough medicine and an inhaler, although he did not have asthma.  She dismissed him (rudely, he told us that Friday evening when he came home from work), and told him to come next week if he didn't feel better.  He did go back on Monday, before work, and was diagnosed with pneumonia.  Tuesday morning, June 2nd, he was rushed to the hospital with Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome and passed away on June 8, 2009.  We were and are in shock.  He was always so healthy.  Mild allergies were his only health issue.

 

I really and truly feel the pain you are going through.  As for emotions, it's the same with me.  Any disappointment at all and I start crying & crying, thinking about my son Todd.  He was such a good person, intelligent, kind, funny, loved animals and never gave us a moment's worry until this serious illness became deadly.  We've brought this to the attention of the Board of Medicine and we've been to 5 top law firms in Boston.  So far, not even a disciplinary letter in her file.

I'm sorry to ramble on but thought maybe reading about my son would take your mind off of your pain, if only for a minute. 

Hugs and prayers are going out to you on this very sad day and weekend.  Janet