Jay:

 

Im sorry that you feel noone comments back i try to comment back to everyone that i have anything in common, I would love to talk about our children it sems like when im on here talking to someone that understands me it helps me then talking to family or friends that haents been in our situation.

 

Terri

Hi Jay, I understand...just visit whenever you feel comfortable doing so. How are you getting along? whenever you want to talk just call on me...xoxoxo

Janice 

Jay, I'm so sorry for your lost. The people outside of our world just don't understand the pain of a parent that has lost a child, they don't mean any harm, it's just that they haven't experienced losing a child. To them it's just like losing any member of their family but, the lost of losing a child is far more deeper/worse than they could ever imagine. Jay, just know that your Legacy family know what you're going through and we're here for you anytime night/day. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and heart.
Love Janice

Jay, I'm so sorry for your loss. I read your post about the cancer. None of us knows why our children died before us but maybe this post you made to warn other women(I know there are men on Legacy but even they could tell their wives or sisters), maybe this is the reason that your were spared. I think of how God's ways are not our ways. That really hurts sometimes in every area of our lives. But there may have been that one person that read your post that needed to hear it. I believe we are all here for each other at Legacy. Our grief is obviously shared but if we can pass on some info that could spare a life then we have blessed others in our grief. I have found, in my grief, that reaching out to help others has helped me go on after my son's death. I'll be praying for you. Hugs of Hope, Kathy

Jay
I lost my son June 09. He was my only son. People don't see to want to see or feel my pain or your pain...unless you've lost a child nobody has any idea how horrible and deep the pain is. I'll never get over losing my boy... I'll grieve him til I see him. I breathe in, I breathe out, I put one foot in front of the other, I exist I no longer live... that was my baby..

Jay I feel the pain trust me in 16 more days Nov 16th my baby boy Daniel will be taken away from me his birthday was last Fri Oct 22 he would of been 23 he was killed in a car accident 3 weeks after his 21st birthday didn't fullfill his dreams on becomming a NFL play maybe to the colts or Rams he was also a fulltime college student studing criminal justice a young man so kind and beautiful at heart at first i was in shock and then i just felt like he was away at college 3hrs away from he would come home to visit at least once or twice a month it depending during football seasone and work and school. The last time i saw my son was Oct 26th 2008 his birthday weekend we had a blast he invited a few friends from school we partied like college kids do man i couldn't keep up with them this profile picture is me and Daniel that was one of my last kiss i got from him i wish i could of held him one last time Daniel is my first born and the love of my life plus my other son Michael Daniel was texting and driving when his car left the side of the road and hit a 9ft tree stump and was ejected and died on the scene so he felt no pain thank god iam glad my son did not suffer' but i miss him so much ive been crying all that week of his birthday i finally realize he is gone but he is with me spitiually i feel he is ok with God i miss him him like crazy i need one of his big huggs I just think what a joy he gave me and all those good memries we shared we were best friends we can talk about anything i was so honored to have been his mother. we need to keep in touch all us parents who have lost their child we are not alone even tho we feel like that sometimes'once again iam so sorry for your lose may God bless U and your family. Lisa Daniel's mom

Hi,Jay.I am so sorry for your lost.But I feel like you did very often and my sweet angel left me 8 years ago.Grief has different faces,give a time but you never get over it just learn how live with it .XOXOXO

jay, i cant even remember what it was when i was at the 10th week. i still cant remember so much. saturday is the 1 yr anniv and i am so sad. i want to curl up and die so i can be with my baby. take care, go to grief counseling. love , val

Hi Jay so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby boy I know how you feel. i am crying also. this site is good and it is bad. I think we are trying to get our grief out.... just reading your story reminds me of me and my son. and now what????I am glad he was alive that I gave him life. I found a few poems early on that gave me some comfort. I don't know if I can put my hands on them now but i need to find them. man what sucks more than this.??? i am sorry i am breaking down while writing this as we all do I think we want to suffer as much as our children did .... I don't know. Carol told me that she donates books in his name. with her sons dates on a plack she wanted me to do something for others. well .... we need to talk that is obvious it is just painful at times... much of the time... Carrie L

jay- thank you for your sweet note. i am so thankful you are cancer free. i too, had a melanoma in 1981 and have also been cancer free and for that, i feel blessed. i am just so sad , i cant think straight and i am just too focused on the upcoming anniv. i keep trying to remember the last days of this time last year and cant remember much. in fact. most of this past year, i dont remember much at all. jay, i am thinking of you and keeping you and your family in my prayers. hugs, val

jay- thank you for your sweet note. i am so thankful you are cancer free. i too, had a melanoma in 1981 and have also been cancer free and for that, i feel blessed. i am just so sad , i cant think straight and i am just too focused on the upcoming anniv. i keep trying to remember the last days of this time last year and cant remember much. in fact. most of this past year, i dont remember much at all. jay, i am thinking of you and keeping you and your family in my prayers. hugs, val

jay unfortunatley there are no words that will comfort me now. maybe down the line. i am almost at the giving up point. its been a long long haul this past year. my only child.. the most important person in my life. is gone. sorry, i am so down... today is a real bad day. thank for writing. val

jay, yes i believe our sons would not want us feeling so sad. however, jay, i am almost a year out and feeling just as sad , if not more, because, at 9 weeks, i was still in shock. finally, i think.. the shock is wearing off and i am now having to accept that dusty is really...gone. the gut wrenching pain is still there, i still cant speak about him with tears... i wonder what the rest of my life will be like without him.... val

jay, thinking of you. val

im so very sorry. but its better then him being in prison for the rest of his life for nothing. just because. or maybe the same thing and hear him beging u to make it stop.

im so very sorry. but its better then him being in prison for the rest of his life for nothing. just because. or maybe the same thing and hear him beging u to make it stop.

jay, maybe some day i will find peace. i know my son finally found his peace. now, my world being in shambles, i somehow need to dig myself up out of this mess so he would be proud of me. it may take a lifetime , i know grief is unique just as each person is. i am grateful that you took the time to listen and response. val

jay-it just isnt fair how life deals out the cards. ive been to counseling and nobody, if they havent lost a child , an know the horrendous pain this is. my life is a nightmare, day in, day out, all day, all night. i do try to remember the good times, however, with the 1 yr Anniv approaching, my thoughts are only focused on getting thru that day .from this day forward i am releasing a blue balloon in memory of my precious son, then on that day, i found a blue butterfly balloon that i will release that day. val

Hello Valerie, I am so sorry for the loss of your son Dusty, this is another reason that it is so unfair that Val was taken, in his teens and early twenties he was into drugs but somehow he pulled himself out and it seems so unfair to go through that and then be killed because someone was not paying attention. People tell me I need counseling but I do not need some stranger looking at me with that sorrowful look and telling me that it will be ok when they have not faced the world without their child, they keep telling me this is part of God's plan but why would God do this to us I just do not know. Try to remember the happy times with Dusty that is what I am doing - I found a picture of my Val when he was six months old and I kiss and hug it every night before I go to bed and when I get up and tell him how much I miss him and love him - that has seemed to helped me some