Ms. Joanne, thanks for your concern. It's hard to believe but it's been over four years since my son left us. It's like a roller coaster at times. little things still cause me to tear up from time to time. I hope all is well for you and your family. My kids have scattered and we don't see each other much any more. Hopefully that will change soon. Take care, JBT
There is always a face before me,
A voice I would love to hear,
A smile I will always remember,
Of a brother I loved so dear.
Deep in my heart lies a picture,
More precious than silver or gold,
It's a picture of my brother Chester,
Whose memory will never grow old.
SWEET JOANNE,THANK YOU FOR CARING I ALSO WISH I COULD WRAP MY ARMS AROUND AND TELL YOU ONE DAY WE WILL SEE THEM AGAIN,BUT IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME MY SISTER WAS SO SAD AND BEGGED TO DIE ALL THE TIME I SO WISHED I KNEW SHE WAS REALLY WANTING TO DIE I WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE DID SOMETHING OR BEEN A BETTER SISTER IT SO EMPTY IN MY HEART AND SOUL I WISH I COULD HOLD HER AND TELL HER ITS WILL BE OKAY I WISH I HAD DID MOREYOU DIE ALONE AND WAS DEAD 3 DAYS BEFORE EVEN FOUND I COUNT THE DAYS SINCE SHE LEFT ME AND SEEMS LIFE GOES ON FOR EVERYONE ELES EVEN THOUGH I FEEL LIKE MYINE HAS STOP.I AM SORRY ABOUT YOUR BROTHER AND I THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LEAVING ME A COMMENT I TOO HAVE TRIED SUICIDE AND KNOW HOW BAD YOU CAN FEEL ABOUT LIFE.THE TEARS STILL COME AND I CANT EVEN WEAR THINGS SHE HAD GIVE ME I GUESS I WILL NEVER BELEIVE IT FEELS AS IF I WAS A BAD DREAM THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU!WITH LOVE...I HAVE NO FRIENDS AND NO ONE TO TALK TOO!
Thank you Joanne,
Not sure if its time or we just learn to to move forward and understand that they wouldnt want us to die with them it was there choice not ours. I am sorry for your loss. Take Care
I know how you feel Helen. We have put up a Memorial page on Face book for my brother and my sister and I write on it every month.. His friends wrote at the start and i cant blame them for not writing on it everytime they feel like it but i find myself checking to see who does and sometimes wonder how they forget when we have such pain thinking about our loss daily...sometimes, its not that they forget but choose to move on as there is no other choice and we too, have to think like that. It does not mean that when we laugh or feel happy that we have forgotten them its just that we are moving on until we get to be with them.
The ones that have not lost a loved one will never ever know the pain that we go through. Its no point for us to even think that they should. The only thing that they could do for us is to be there and help us to try to move past this.
Helen dearest, we could have never really known what
our loved ones went through, what we saw was what they wanted us to see. they are at Peace and we should try to find a little Peace to as that will make them Happy. I am here for you, write to me when ever you want to.
Thank you Joanne for your words. I am not doing well. I sent a message & pictures of my son's memorial service via Facebook. I received an email from my sister saying that I had upset her daughters.......telling me that her daughters were her world and how could I upset them. My son was/is my world. I just didn't want anyone to forget him. I guess I was being selfish, thinking only how I was feeling. My sister said I would never change and only think of myself. Joanne, my sister has never lost a child and she does not know what I am going through. She only thinks about how her daughters feel. I love my son and will NEVER get over his death.....I don't want to. He's been gone for only 18 months and I don't want to feel better. I should have seen and known what he was going through.
Thank you very much for your concern and writing me.
Thank you Lisa. I am sorry about your brother too. i miss mine everyday and sometimes feels that he is still around I like to think that his at work or maybe his at his home and he has not come to see us for a while as its so hard to believe that he is gone..really gone..at times i feel my heart would burst with the pain..My kids keep me on the move and that helps but there is always the night time and the Morning which are the hard times.. Tks Lisa and You take care too.
Joanne sorry about your brother I lost my brother also 2 years ago . My brother dropped in the middle of a store they said it was asthma related death .I guess his heart stopped didnt know he had asthma didnt get to say goodbye he died shortly after arriving at the hospital . Im here for you . Take care
I know what you must be going through as i too go through that and so does my parents and sister... If we could have done more of this and more of that. My husband says, that when its your time to leave this earth..thats it. Nothing you can do or say will change that..in a way its true. we who are left behind feel the pain so badly. To lose a child, is the worst thing a parent can face as no parent wants to out live their children. All that we have left is what we have done to make them happy while they were here and how much we loved them. If they knew all this we have done our part as parents and the rest is up to God. I am sending you this Poem i found and hope it makes you feel a little better.Was he your only son?? when i feel very low at times, I tell my self that Jesus was only 33yrs old when he faced such a cruel death for our sins and how he would have felt and how his parents would have felt seeing him like that on the cross. Be strong as we know that we will see our loved one again and that worth the wait. Lots of love and blessings to both of you. Joanne.
My Child You're Not Alone
At times like these it's hard to find the right words to say,
And I know that words alone won't take the pain away.
But, I know a man who sits high, and looks low,
And He is saying, "My child, you're not alone."
He is saying, "I love you and I am concerned about you,
And all the pain and hurt that you are going through."
He is saying, "Lean on me, I will be your comfort through this time.
And although it’s dark now, the sun again will shine."
Even though it’s hard to see through tears that you now cry,
Just know that there will come a day when your tears, He will dry.
And though words alone won’t ease the pain that you now feel,
Just know that in time, your heart, He will heal.
I pray that God will give you peace, and strength in your heart
As He holds you in His arms, and from you, He won’t depart.
May you always be encouraged, may you ever hold on.
And remember, "My child, you're not alone."
Thank you for your words. I guess my biggest problem is the feeling I may have let him down. He was in congestive heart failure and in UCSF Hospital for 9 days. He trusted me for decisions, and I know I tried to make the best, but I'm afraid misunderstanding between the doctors and me, as to what I wanted for him, may have played a part in their decision to stop trying to help him recover. I just have not been able to bring myself to ask those questions, though I'm beginning to feel it is not helping, not knowing. I didn't even realize they stopped medicating him for his heart problems and infection he got from the catheter until after they sent him home in an ambulance to die with help from hospice. I thought hospice was there to help me do the best in his recovery.