Terri Kuta's Comments

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At 9:20am on November 8, 2012, Michelle Berls - Julie's Mom said…

Terri - I am new to this site.  I read your son's story and was deeply moved.  I too lost my 22 year old daughter in a tragic car accident.  She was out partying, she was over the legal limit, the roads were icey, she lost control and hit a pole.  She died instantly as well.  No parent should get that knock on the door we did at 5 a.m. and see 3 police officers standing there (one being a Chaplain)...it was then I knew.  Our children's deaths are so senseless and I just wanted to give you ((hugs)) and let you know that I know just how you feel.  Peace to you...

At 8:57am on November 8, 2012, David, BERNIE's dad said…

Terri, I just read what you said about holding your son's clothes. Bernie's are still in my room, and I just can't move them, two flannel work jackets that he wore in hospital when I took him out for a smoke. Yesterday was a rough day. Friends were supposed to take me for a process this morning, and when I found out it was right opposite the Hospice where he died, I postponed the whole thing. I miss him.

At 12:33pm on September 10, 2012, Carolyn kauffman said…
Hi terri, how u feeling today hopefully u have a good day. This has been a bad wk, I keep think about my son n how he died. I think I will feel this way as it gets closer to October 9 th. Sorry I don't get on much I try to stay busy.
At 4:53pm on August 15, 2012, Theresa Sweaney said…

Terri I inadvertently included you in my new Fb group Postvention Is Prevention, not remembering right off that you had not lost Jonathan due to a suicide.  Feel free to remain a member (or not) - whatever you prefer.  Hugs, Theresa

At 12:48pm on June 19, 2012, Alicia Rodriguez said…
Hi Terri I hear you I'm missing my Jesse today just woke up thinking of him more.then other days maybe he can see my tears and knows I miss him so much! Like I know you must be feeling so sorry we had to lose our kid's and we are left to suffer! But it is what it is what can we do? Nothing just wait to be with them one day well you're in my prayers hug to you Alicia Jesse's Mom
At 6:09pm on April 10, 2012, Melissa Asher said…

sorry I have not kept in touch. My other daughter is sick, I had to break down my facebook, I stayed on farmville all day and night for two years. Now I get to think all day. when I have my good days I try to go on the boat or the rv can not go to far do to my health. My daughter and three kids are coming on are b day hers is the 18 mine is the 19th that will be nice,, I can not seem to get out of bed I stuck in a rut,, but I will pull myself out.

I read your kids wont come around you I am sorry my only daughter live 1600 miles away she has cancer :( the docs froze it hopefully that worked or she will have to have her female organs removed that is ok she has three kids. just as long I don not have to loose my last child. I can not even mention samantha name to shannon or she will hang up on me last time she came down here she left with her husband and they went to his family but I kept the older kids. she will not talk about her she does not want me to cry in front of her it is hard because i was a single mother and when one was there there was the other one I sorry I am not helping I miss sam,,, this is why I do not come on this site I love talking to you,, it was better on facebook many hugs Melissa,,, may are angel rest in peace

At 2:04pm on November 13, 2011, shannon churchill said…

Terri, you are in my prayers... I know this is a very difficult time for you as it is for me.    God bless you and keep you close...so that you may feel the comfort only he can provide...  Shannon

At 2:04pm on November 13, 2011, shannon churchill said…

Terri, you are in my prayers... I know this is a very difficult time for you as it is for me.    God bless you and keep you close...so that you may feel the comfort only he can provide...  Shannon

At 7:03pm on November 9, 2011, Theresa Sweaney said…

Dear Terri, I just read your entry that you were in hospital due to your terrible loss.  While here just now I looked up and saw/read your profile information about Jonathan.  What a horrible tragedy for you.  I am so very very sorry.  I will ask God to put extra supports in place around you during your most vulnerable times.  My faith was fairly shattered when my boy died by suicide earlier this year, but I still pray, so I guess that means I still believe He hears and answers prayer.  Still don't have all the answers or understanding about God's will and his provision in our lives, since He didn't deliver our children, but people tell me there are greater purposes at work, so maybe there is.  I will keep trying to believe, and continue to pray for God's interventions and providence.  And especially for you, today.  Sincerely, Theresa

At 9:45am on October 2, 2011, Janet - Todd's Mom said…

Hi Terri,  Just wanted to say that I am exactly where you are and it will be 2 yrs. 4 mo. on Oct. 8th since we lost our son Todd to pneumonia and acute respiratory distress syndrome.  I still ask, "how does a perfectly healthy young man go from having a bad cough & cold and going to see his doctor, not once, but twice"...how does he go from that to heart, lung, kidney and respiratory failure in 10 days?   If you are no longer thinking of taking your own life to be with your son, it sounds as though you are improving, even a little.  I still think about it all the time.  My fear is that I wouldn't be able to find him.  Like you, I was very close to my son too.  He had been out of work for some time prior to 2009 and I wasn't working at the time, so we spent lots of time together during the day because most of his friends were working.   I'm thankful I had this time with him, but miss him so so much.  Do you ever wonder how much pain a person can take?  I do.  After reading your note, I think I should look for another grief therapist.  The first one we saw was excellent, but could only see us for one year because she works at the Center for Grief and Healing, a local hospice, and there are too many others waiting to see her.

Thank you for posting.  It's very helpful and I don't know what I would do without everyone on this website.

Hoping you're having a peaceful day.

Hugs,

Janet

At 10:43am on August 28, 2011, valerie moore said…
dear terri,  thank you for your kind words.  yes,  the 1st anniversary is VERY hard.  so is the 2nd.  i am just sitting here wondering how i will make it through today.  love, valerie
At 11:03am on August 13, 2011, Patti Meadows said…

Hi Terri, thanks for the friend request.  It has taken me 5 years to realize we will NEVER understand so many things.  But as someone told me about my son Matt, who was 26 when he went home.  Matt "DIED"  ONE night, but he "LIVED" 26 years.  I have been in a very dark place, not nearly as brave and strong as the others here, but I feel healing like I never have.  I finally realized that GOD is ON our side, and grieves with us.  I try to realize that some people never get to know the love of a wonderful son, that is something I can cherish forever, and mercifully thankful I am I have two other sons here on earth, and a loving husband.  I will pray for you and your family..I can recommend a wonderful book by Zig Ziglar "CONFESSIONS OF A GRIEVING CHRISTIAN"  He, too lost a child, a grown daughter.  Here is a beautiful poem (author unknown that sums death up):

GONE FROM MY SIGHT I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says, “There, she is gone!” Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says, “There, she is gone!” there are eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, “Here she comes!”—and that is dying.

At 11:03am on August 13, 2011, Patti Meadows said…

Hi Terri, thanks for the friend request.  It has taken me 5 years to realize we will NEVER understand so many things.  But as someone told me about my son Matt, who was 26 when he went home.  Matt "DIED"  ONE night, but he "LIVED" 26 years.  I have been in a very dark place, not nearly as brave and strong as the others here, but I feel healing like I never have.  I finally realized that GOD is ON our side, and grieves with us.  I try to realize that some people never get to know the love of a wonderful son, that is something I can cherish forever, and mercifully thankful I am I have two other sons here on earth, and a loving husband.  I will pray for you and your family..I can recommend a wonderful book by Zig Ziglar "CONFESSIONS OF A GRIEVING CHRISTIAN"  He, too lost a child, a grown daughter.  Here is a beautiful poem (author unknown that sums death up):

GONE FROM MY SIGHT I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says, “There, she is gone!” Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says, “There, she is gone!” there are eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, “Here she comes!”—and that is dying.

At 5:06pm on July 2, 2011, Susan - Donny's Mom said…

Terri, the song you mentioned is playing on my TV radio station right now...If I Die Young....I love that song.

Ok my personal opinion on the "signs" you have been receiving....I don't think there is any danger of losing the child your daughter is carrying.  She is young and healthy and all should be fine with her pregnancy.  I would let that thought go and try to have positive thoughts and energy for her and the child.  Our daughter had a similar experience at 38.  She wasn't married, had a "friend" but not a boyfriend and came up pregnant.  We were not too crazy about it as she really did like kids much and we did not want to face raising a child at our age.  But let me tell you, this changed her life and this little boy (5) has almost single handedly saved our family, bringing us back joy and looking forward to life after his "Unk" passed.  He loved his Unk and a young child like this should not have to go through what he experienced watching our normally happy, fun family having this terrible tragedy.  So look forward to this new family member coming and your daughter will be just fine with the help of you and her whole family.

Regarding the signs from the little boy.....I just think your son is communicating with this little guy....and the song represents HIS death of dying too young. 

So these thoughts are mine personally.....and hope it helps a little in your questions of what is going on between your son and this cousin.

I wish you the best of luck with your daughter and believe me you will have a breath of fresh air with a new life coming soon.

Susan   Donny's Mom Forever

At 10:28am on June 28, 2011, Nichole Lynn Lester said…
Terri,Thanks for your words of support,a friend suggested this site to me and although I wish I had no reason to join unfortunately I do along w the rest of you. I'm sorry for your loss as well,a parent should never have to bury their child. It is one of those things "that happens to other people not me" I look around and see people living normal and happy and my life is shattered..I get told often "what would Justin want you to do" I get so angry,how do pple who have never been where I am try to tell me how to mourn.Don't get me wrong I have wonderful friends,some who have only left my side for a little while since this horrible day. I feel like I'm standing still in time and cant move forward..This wasnt suppose to happen to me,to my child,to my daughter's brother and sister's nephew,it just wasnt. How do I go on? I'm sure we all have the same question....Thanks for listening,Im so glad I came to this site where I can vent and everyone understands!!!
At 3:06am on May 31, 2011, Sue Ryan said…

Hi Terri  T

Thank you so much for your reply and I am so so sorry to read about Jonathan.  It is difficult to understand why such awful things happen, especially to the young who have their whole lives in front of them.  I am not going to understand how you are feeling, but please be strong as I know your son would want you to be as Luke would ask of me.  Like I said the pain and memories wont go away and we have to accept these feelings.  I feel for you and your family and especially Jonathan.  Love Sue

At 6:38pm on May 29, 2011, Peggy Hill said…
Terri, I am so sorry for all your loss.  It must be unbearable.  I've lost both my parents but not a child.  I just can't imagine your pain.  Stay strong and remember the wonderful years with your parents and especially your son.  The memories are the only thing that helps right now. Try to find some memories that will make you smile.  Your son wouldn't want you to be unhappy.  You are in my prayers and in my heart.
At 2:34pm on May 28, 2011, Colleen Pasay said…

Terri

Just wanted to say you will be in my prayers I know how very hard it will be.

My son will be missing his sister's 18th birtday today and also her grad in 1 month. I sincerely send my heartfelt feelings in hopes your day goes by fast.

Stay strong Terri.

A hug from across the miles

Colleen

At 10:45pm on May 21, 2011, JOYCE MASHER, 4 Amy 5158791808 said…

Terri,

 What was the scholarship for? I always wanted to start one, but never did. I thought of  a collection also to be used for those who have no life insurance. We lucked out because those who came to the funeral, donated just enough cash and checks to cover all. Her donation was her organs. At times I get mad about that and then I have to be happy for those whose lives she saved.  The bitter sweet of it.

I too don't think I could handle any crowds then or now, and it has been over 2 yrs for us.

Her school where she graduated, had a memorial for a 2010 graduate who just passed last week when his motorcycle crashed. He also attended my Amy's college. He was supposedly just finalizing things this year.  I always wonder who makes the decisions to do these things for one and not another.  I know the parents or family can get them going, and I do think, at the time, I probably would have said no. I still am not getting it!!!! I still  ask why, why, why?????

 We will have to attend a 9/11 dedication at her local college she attended where the dental class is paying for a brick with her name on the memorial walk along with others for other reasons. Her Angel date is 9/18, so its going to be hard. I am worse on the days up to special dates.

Well, hang in there as best we can. hugs to all

At 4:44pm on May 21, 2011, Chelle said…
aw what a nice gesture!! Again, I can see he is very much loved and missed. Let me know what they decide.
Take care Miss Terri 

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