Terri Kuta's Comments

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At 4:43pm on February 17, 2011, Melissa Asher said…
At 10:48am on February 11, 2011, Patrick Higgins said…
I am so sorry for your loss,Terri...I hope you find peace.
At 2:23pm on February 10, 2011, Susan - Donny's Mom said…

Just read your post on the main page.  This opens up a whole new avenue of life.  I am sorry you had to read the report but we all would have done the same thing.

At 17 everyone thinks, probably including ourselves at that age, that nothing can possibly happen to us.  It could have been a one time event, or just a very bad decision of that day.  Like you said, IF only a friend would have stepped in and not allowed him to make that decision to drive.

I know that the week before Donny passed, one of his friends warned him of the danger of the latest perscription that he had gotten from a Dr. The main side effects are slowing the heart beat, and then with the pain meds/anti-depessants and untreated sleep aphnea, it was like a quiet storm.  The unthinkable happened and he died in his sleep .  Oh how I wish that friend could have persuaded him not to start the new meds.  If only.....  I will live with that thought for the rest of my life as you will too. 

Again, I am sorry you have to deal with the new findings.  One tiny mistake in a young persons life changes us forever.

My thoughts are with you and your family today.  I am sorry Terri

Susan   Donny's Mom

At 2:23pm on February 10, 2011, Susan - Donny's Mom said…

Just read your post on the main page.  This opens up a whole new avenue of life.  I am sorry you had to read the report but we all would have done the same thing.

At 17 everyone thinks, probably including ourselves at that age, that nothing can possibly happen to us.  It could have been a one time event, or just a very bad decision of that day.  Like you said, IF only a friend would have stepped in and not allowed him to make that decision to drive.

I know that the week before Donny passed, one of his friends warned him of the danger of the latest perscription that he had gotten from a Dr. The main side effects are slowing the heart beat, and then with the pain meds/anti-depessants and untreated sleep aphnea, it was like a quiet storm.  The unthinkable happened and he died in his sleep .  Oh how I wish that friend could have persuaded him not to start the new meds.  If only.....  I will live with that thought for the rest of my life as you will too. 

Again, I am sorry you have to deal with the new findings.  One tiny mistake in a young persons life changes us forever.

My thoughts are with you and your family today.  I am sorry Terri

Susan   Donny's Mom

At 2:01pm on February 10, 2011, Terri - Autumn's Mom said…

Terri,

I was just reading your post on the main page.  I can see where your confusion was.  In one hour your son was three times the legal limit and someone let him drive??

I have a 17 year old son and I know he and his friends think they're invincible.  I talk to them about drinking and driving and about even driving the following day because alcohol can still be in your system.  All you can do as a mom is hope they listen.

I was glad to hear you had a good size turnout at the memorial for him.  It does give you a good feeling to know others are thinking about him and cared for him.

I'm still waiting for the death certificate, just to tell me what my daughter died from.  The funeral home called me yesterday after talking to the medical examiners office and said they still haven't determined the cause of death.  What the hell?  She died December 6.  Hopefully we'll hear something next week.

I hope today finds you a little more at peace and I'm sending hugs your way.

At 1:49pm on February 10, 2011, Chelle said…

Dear Miss Terri, i was reading your story about your son Jonathan, my condolences for your precious loss, and all the pain you are undergoing. And i know that is a terrible terrible thing for people to tell you that it was God's will. maybe for some that is a easy answer to somewhat cope or feel better, i hate the way it depicts God the bible does not teach that he takes children away from their parents in fact he desires to reunite them ( Jeremiah 31: 15, 16)  Unfortunately we all are imperfect and inherited sin, and everyone both good and bad eventually dies ( Ecclesiastes 9:5).. at least we have the wonderful promise to see our loved ones again, in a better world free from all that pains us now. I hope these words have brought you comfort~ 

At 12:14am on February 9, 2011, Linda Sacquety said…

Dear Terri,

Tomorrow will be a difficult day for you and I (a stranger but a mom who knows what you are going through) will be sending thoughts and strength to you.  I guess we will always question, WHY OUR CHILDREN..... we will never know the answer.  We can only continue to get through day by day as our children would want us to.  Take care

At 11:49am on February 8, 2011, Jill Hammitt said…
Thanks Terri. I know that as time passes, some things will change. Already the pain is different than it was in Oct 2008. Professionals say the human body can adjust to just about anything. I think this is true in the fact that, we learn to live with the pain. I guess I mean, we learn to continue to breathe and live our lives-even tho our lives are forever changed. I cherish every moment with my daughter/family. Those times are more important than ever. But the loss of Mike/his wife; its always with me, it will always be with me. I make myself do things I know Mike would do or want me to do. In so doing, I feel closer to him. Its like I do things for him. Its a way that helps me. Thanks again for your kind words. Jill H.
At 2:27am on February 8, 2011, Melissa Asher said…
if you give me a picture of you son,, i can make one for you. and i will post it on your site. if you want. tell me if you want missing you, my son, in memory of, or i love you
At 11:43pm on February 7, 2011, Melissa Asher said…

Cont. here is how the candle light service I did then I had her friends write on the balloons with permanent marker then you do not have to hear their private thoughts.

Stories are good but when it comes to the candle lighting I found it very hard to hear what her friends had to say.

Take five candles and light them and put them anywhere you want to in the house - The first candle represents our Grief- It reminds us of our aching pain, our tears and our feelings of emptiness.

The second candle represents our Courage- Our courage to confront our sorrow , to comfort each other  and to change our lives.

The third candle represents our Memories- We remember the times we laughed, the times we cried, the celebrations and holidays, the words of encouragement and love.

The fourth candle represents our Love-We cherish the special place in our hearts that will always be reserved for our children and loved ones. We are thankful for their gift of life.

The fifth candle represents our Hope-The hope that knows what the shortest days and darkest nights feel like- The hope that carries the spirit of our family's light.

This candle lighting can be used on any day you want to use it when you are feeling down. It can also be used for birthdays and anniversaries. Keep the candles lit for as long as you want and you can recite the words as a prayer or a reading.

I hope you like the candle lighting and I hope you find it useful.

On a personal note I want to wish the courage, the strenth, the power of God to be able to get thru your son Birthday. Try to remember this is the day you were given a gift of life I know it was ended short but try to hold on to that, the stories are good,, but if you can not handle as I could not the first year excuse your self and go into another room everyone will understand. They will still cont. on talking about your son. You are in my prayers. Melissa
At 11:34pm on February 7, 2011, Melissa Asher said…

Thank you for the complete on the pics of Samantha and my celabration of her birthday. This was the fourth Birthday I missed, the first three I sang her a song, and gave her a gift one was a locket of her dad and her ashes together, another was a favorite stuff animal,, another was a poem,, I did this by myself. I looked at like this is the day God bless me with this child he did not have to give me her at all so I thank him and celebrate. Her death dates she died twice are harder but I am getting better at it. To come back to this year she would have been 22 out training for a cop and I sure she would be,, she was a model and i see the change in all her friends and I kept on wondering what she would look like at 22,, I had to get rid of her car see it was easy to look at the car and say to myself aww she just off with someone else this happen a week before her birthday. The night before I invited some of  her friend I have known them all of my their life. I was going to call it off I just wanted to curl up in my bed and cry myself to sleep, but I gave it to God went shopping and my spirits was lifted as I said she was my gift from him on this special day. We did the candles, and we got two balloons and we wrote what we wanted to say to her and let them go up in the sky and said happy birthday.

I must say don't give me a lot of  credit the first year I wanted to do a candle light on her death date I gave everyone a candle and there was about 40 people here maybe more. watching everyone light the candle one by one crying was too much for me. That night i had a massive siezure.

Now my friend Garry he is on this site gave me and Idea she still has a candle I bought for her it is ingrave with a poem with her name in it and her birth date and death date.

 

At 3:41pm on February 6, 2011, BONNIE said…

My daughter died three days before your son. We got the toxicology report back on January 18, 2011. It was clean. I figured it would be. 

You should be getting yours soon.

I was scared to see my daughter because they told me it was horrific. I thought it would make me lose control. I am kind of sorry I did not because now she is in the ground. The other thing I thought was they gave me her clothes. Is she buried naked? That is kind of  hard to wrap my head around.

I regret not getting some clothing for her. It all happened too fast.

We had the funeral the week before Thanksgiving. I did not celebrate at all this year. It was too much. What a  painful shock.

At 3:45pm on February 4, 2011, Tammy Love said…
Hi Terri, when Ash was gone 6 months I was up here typing in my journal, I broke down in tears begging her to let me know she was ok, that she just was, and all of a sudden I smelt her lotion, the stuff she always wore, I screamed for my husband and asked him do you smell it, he did, it was a matter of 30 or so seconds, maybe a minute but I knew, just knew it was her.  She had come to comfort me, funny how that is, we always were the  ones to comfort our children, now its them coming to us in so many different ways to comfort us.  I have met a woman that speaks to Ash, and I know some of the people claim to do it, they say things to me but I know, only I really know if it is true or not and this lady knows things no one else does, its Ashleigh telling her so that she can confirm its her.  It is truly amazing.  Ashleigh has even talked and appeared to me.  Now I am not saying this happens all the time, I only wish it did and it has not happened lately but it has happened.  I believe whole heartedly she is trying to help us catch the monsters that killed her, and help me survive just survive.  I will write more later, hugs and hope, Tammy
At 8:51pm on February 1, 2011, Diane Hood said…
Terri I feel your pain and I too lost my son to a self inflicted gunshoot to the chest, I miss him so much and it's only been almost two months, my world has been shattered he was my oldest son I have four children he was the third child, 30 years old , married and had six children I'm just at a loss and I hope expressing myself on here will help me feel better.............................I am so sorry for your loss and maybe together we can help each other I think this is something that will follow me for the rest of my life.............
At 11:14pm on January 31, 2011, Tami said…
Terri, I have asked my family the same question because when my son crashed, I was running to him from my house and was stopped by two policemen that didnt know what was going on and I was hysterical, I asked them to please bring me to my son, that he had just had an accident, they said they had to call in and see what was going on first, they took their time, I was so panicked and begging them to just let me get to him He needed me to hold him even if he was gone, that I just wanted to hold him while he was still warm, I tried to get away from them, I even kicked one that was holding onto me, they said I wasnt rational at the time, so I calmed myself down and begged them, told them they just didnt understand,  they threatened to arrest me if I went up onto the freeway, My husband pulled up at this time and they were on and off of the radios, they finally let us leave to go to the coroners office, they said he would be there shortly...I didnt know but my husband had called my sister and she took the freeway from her house and drove right up on the scene she got out of her car and the police started yelling at her to get in her car and leave, She is a very outspken person and told them that was her nephew and she wanted to be with him.... They also threatened to arrest her if she didnt leave, she called them a few names. I have asked the question over and over, I have gotten the same answer, they said that It wasnt safe it wouldve been a traffic hazard, they have said that I was to hysterical ( I had calmed myself down) that it wasnt something that I would want to see, when they said that to me after they caught up with me, I told them that I had to be with him, I had to hold him, I think it should be a parents choice, we know what we want shock or no shock. Im sorry I went on about my story, I just wanted to let you know that I know the feeling and it isnt right. SOme states are different but I know CA wont let you at the scene. I am so sorry for your loss....
At 11:14pm on January 31, 2011, Tami said…
Terri, I have asked my family the same question because when my son crashed, I was running to him from my house and was stopped by two policemen that didnt know what was going on and I was hysterical, I asked them to please bring me to my son, that he had just had an accident, they said they had to call in and see what was going on first, they took their time, I was so panicked and begging them to just let me get to him He needed me to hold him even if he was gone, that I just wanted to hold him while he was still warm, I tried to get away from them, I even kicked one that was holding onto me, they said I wasnt rational at the time, so I calmed myself down and begged them, told them they just didnt understand,  they threatened to arrest me if I went up onto the freeway, My husband pulled up at this time and they were on and off of the radios, they finally let us leave to go to the coroners office, they said he would be there shortly...I didnt know but my husband had called my sister and she took the freeway from her house and drove right up on the scene she got out of her car and the police started yelling at her to get in her car and leave, She is a very outspken person and told them that was her nephew and she wanted to be with him.... They also threatened to arrest her if she didnt leave, she called them a few names. I have asked the question over and over, I have gotten the same answer, they said that It wasnt safe it wouldve been a traffic hazard, they have said that I was to hysterical ( I had calmed myself down) that it wasnt something that I would want to see, when they said that to me after they caught up with me, I told them that I had to be with him, I had to hold him, I think it should be a parents choice, we know what we want shock or no shock. Im sorry I went on about my story, I just wanted to let you know that I know the feeling and it isnt right. SOme states are different but I know CA wont let you at the scene. I am so sorry for your loss....
At 2:17pm on January 30, 2011, Melinda Ellen Guinn said…
I like John Edwards. I also used to see Sylvia Browne someimes on the "Montel" show.  I haven't noticed any signs from Candace. I'm going to her home for her birthday, Feb. 11. I'm going to bring dinner (enchilda casserole) and cake and ice cream. On the day she passed, April 9th, I 'm going to buy those Lantern Balloons you blow up w/helium Walmart has a small canister that will suffice. Her husband , girls and I are going to go to Sunset Park where they live in Vegas and have a b-b-q and release the balloons. 
At 2:17pm on January 30, 2011, Melinda Ellen Guinn said…
I like John Edwards. I also used to see Sylvia Browne someimes on the "Montel" show.  I haven't noticed any signs from Candace. I'm going to her home for her birthday, Feb. 11. I'm going to bring dinner (enchilda casserole) and cake and ice cream. On the day she passed, April 9th, I 'm going to buy those Lantern Balloons you blow up w/helium Walmart has a small canister that will suffice. Her husband , girls and I are going to go to Sunset Park where they live in Vegas and have a b-b-q and release the balloons. 
At 2:02pm on January 30, 2011, Skip Bragg said…
You have seen a vision I wish I could see. They say its the way they let you know they are Ok
At 1:48pm on January 29, 2011, Tammy Love said…
yes it is true some people say coinsedence, no I say signs, so many signs. I know exactly what you mean, I know this, I have talked to ash, seen her, gotten her signs, the next day I lose it all in pain thinking I can't feel her at all. But I get it back, because it is real, so real. I am so sorry about your son, the pain I feel. I am having a little computer problem now but I will write you more soon, I will share with you some of what Ash has done....

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