Terri Kuta's Comments

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At 2:51am on December 27, 2010, LAURA EMBRY said…
Thanks for responding to me on here.  I'm real sorry you lost your son. 
At 6:53pm on December 26, 2010, Susan - Donny's Mom said…

That is kinda funny how your husband discribes the pain.  It for sure takes away any other pain you are feeling....hurts like heck.  But I knew that as I already have one tiny one.  My sons daughter told me that same thing as your husband.  Let this pain take your pain away or think about someone you don't like and this pain is for them.

Neither worked for me....but I wanted it done.  Only took about 20 minutes to complete so I was glad for that. 

At 6:19pm on December 26, 2010, Betty Bryant said…
Her real father is having a tough time. We had not spoken in 15 years until the funeral.  I stayed in Tracys home for 10 days after she died. I felt better staying there but I had to come back home. My other daughter Tina and I are trying to think of someway to keep her house but she had no mortgage insurance and her payment is over 1000.00 a month. I should have gotten up there last summer, I will never forgive myself for that. People are already telling me I need to get on with my life, even my own son says he needs to think about his coming child and is tired of listening to me cry. Betty
At 6:05pm on December 26, 2010, Betty Bryant said…
I have 2 other children  Chip 29, and  Tina 30.  Tina has 4 children, but I have pretty much raised the oldest one, her name is Novena and she is 9. My sons girlfriend is expecting and that will be his first. They live here in NC with me. I moved here 8 years ago.   My oldest daughter was the one who was killed. She still lived in Erie PA. I hadn't saw her since April. That is one of the hardest parts. She was supposed to come down in Oct. but things fell through. I called her at least 10 times and asked her to look for a plane ticket and I would send her the money with paypal but she was waiting until after Thanksgiving. She had a roommate who was supposed to move out over Thanksgiving and she wanted to be home when she left to make sure she only took her own things. She was driving to Ellicotville, NY to see her boyfriend. I still am not sure what happened as I can't get a straight story out of the police. They never called the state police and didn't even do any blood work on the other driver. She was driving a jeep wrangler and somehow must have been trying to get her jeep off the road on the opposite side of the road as there was a steep embankment on her side. She had texted a friend earlier and told her the jeep was leaking oil or something. They called it her fault. We have gotten an attorney who says it couldn't have happened the way they said. She was hurt so badly the funeral home wouldn't let me see any part of her. I had her cremated so I could take her ashes back home with me. I asked them to please cover her with a sheet and let me hug her goodbye but they wouldn't. All I can think of is when they first put her in my arms when she was born.  I am trying to be strong for my grandaughter but All I do is cry. Right now I mad so mad at God, I am not even sure what I believe in. I have taken Klonopin for years for panic disorder so my doctor doesn't want to give me anything else. My husband (not her father) is not being very supportive.
At 5:51pm on December 26, 2010, Susan - Donny's Mom said…

Hi Terri, I got it on my right front hip.  Just for me to see....!!!  Oh and Donny's Dad too.

I love it too.

At 2:09pm on December 26, 2010, Betty Bryant said…
How are you getting through this, I still feel like I can't breathe. The pain  never stops, even for one second.
At 10:47pm on December 25, 2010, Lisa Halsey said…
I didn't i didn't go anywhere i stayed home because my husbands side of the family don't give a damb about us they feel we should get over the loss of our son the didn't even invite us not a merry christmas or call. They called my son Michael we didn't take that away from him so he went for a little while iam so done with his family my husband is hurt in a car accident a few months ago they don't give a crap about him at all so i said i will stay home with him i don't want to put Michael in the middle of this we told him it was ok to go so he did my mother in law invited him for dinner he didn't go my husband put his foot down no he spent with them in the morning today he is going to stay home and have dinner with us and light a candle for Daniel and i made one of Daniel's favorite cakes and we had it for him. Iam just so hurt what they have pulled i wish i was with my family they wouldn't of done this to us but they are all in California i called my parents because it is my dads birthday i just started balling my parents don't care for his family very much all they do is think about themselves i want to email his mom something but i sometimes think that iam better than that and i also know that Daniel is very sad about this. iam glad u got out loves and big huggs ok Lisa Daniel's mom
At 3:13pm on December 25, 2010, Lisa Halsey said…
I know how U feel Terri i feel the same way i can't wait till this day is over. I remember when i went to see Daniel a few months ago something told me to go to his grave site and it was sucken in i just sat there and balled some one stole his stuff i was beyond mad. So on that Monday i got off work early went back i went to see his grave to make sure what i saw it looked like someone ran over him in a truck on his temp headstone i saw tire marks i took some pictures of it. I ran over to the office i was yelling thier like Lisa calm down i said if that was your little boy over there U would be doing the same thing so we walked back over there and she saw what i was talking about i also told her your employees need to learn to respect the dead i just went off she said we will have it fixed tomarrow i went back and it was done. So i know how U R feeling right now. I miss my little boy so much it hurts i know i can't say merry christmas because there is nothing merry about it. Just try to cope with the day maybe some day it will be a merry christmas i just can't say when. Just have a Blessed Day BIG HUGGS LISA DANIEL'S MOM
At 5:28am on December 25, 2010, Shirley Creed said…

Thank you.  My prayers go to you and your family during the most difficult of times.  My "baby" was also killed in auto accident and could not image having to see him in the car for 2 hours and no way to help him.  Mercifully, as with Jonathon, he died instantly.  My prayer and thoughts are with you. 

At 5:28am on December 25, 2010, Shirley Creed said…

Thank you.  My prayers go to you and your family during the most difficult of times.  My "baby" was also killed in auto accident and could not image having to see him in the car for 2 hours and no way to help him.  Mercifully, as with Jonathon, he died instantly.  My prayer and thoughts are with you. 

At 12:08am on December 25, 2010, Margie Dovale said…
Thank you Terri for your kind words. I am so sorry about your son. My daughter Laura was 25 when she was murdered. She was being stalked by a 42 year old monster. She kept rebuffing him so he killed her October 14, 2009
my husband and I found her two days later in her apartment after her boyfriend came to us worried because he couldn't get hold of her and she did not show up at work. She had been stabbed with a hunting knife. We have yet to go to trial, but her killer is behind bars without bail.
At 9:47pm on December 22, 2010, Diane said…
I am so sorry you have lost Jonathan.  It 's so difficult to understand.  Like Jonathan, my Ryan was 18 and just starting his life.  Then suddenly gone.  As for the holidays, you will find in year two, three, etc. that you won't even remember what you did on this first Christmas after your son's death.  You will also learn that people mean well but they cannot know how difficult it is for us to even make it through the motions.  I have been angry many times at the things people would say and then I would have to remember they just don't know any better.   Be kind to yourself.  Don't let people put you in an uncomfortable place.  Be true to yourself and your feelings.  Cry if you need.  There is no shame in showing your pain.  This is more pain than anyone should have to endure.  People will adjust to the fact you are not the same.  I hope you make it through the holidays the best way you can.  God bless.
At 8:13pm on December 22, 2010, VICKY said…
Oh Terri I am so sorry for your loss of your baby boy!  The pain is immeasurable and I am so very sorry to hear you are burrying your baby tomorrow.  I will pray for you and your family.  I know how horrific that day will be.  I know I have so many unanswered questions as to why God let my baby die at the hands of a murderer and I always get the same answer - Lean not on your own understanding.  God will walk with you and hold you up tomorrow and the coming days ahead.  Another mother who lost her daughter told me to focus on God and it will make it bearable - not easy by any means, but you will be able to survive and put one foot in front of the other.  It's been 9 months for me and I thank God for keeping me moving and able to raise her baby.  God be with you Terri Kuta and your family.  Know that Jonathan will have the Christmas that we all dream of - he will be so very happy and one day you will hold your son again.  God Bless You!
At 12:06am on December 22, 2010, Debra said…

As parents we feel we must be to blame for whatever happens to our childen.  But you know in your heart of hearts that what happened to him was an accident.  It was not your fault, and you know your son would be sad to hear you say that.  I don't know why the best and brightest seem to be snatched away from us.  I don't understand and never will, but I like to think that the moments you shared with your son will be with for always, in your heart, and they may be of some comfort.  I feel so guilty about Travis, and I know its not reasonable, but I do.  I know if he were here he would tell me to quit acting stupid, Ma!  Think of what your son would say to you now.  I know that he would want to comfort you, he want you to try to be at peace.  His spirit lives on, and it soars! 

God bless you.

At 9:14pm on December 21, 2010, Debra said…

Travis was in Iraq at the time of his death and he knew that his chances of dying were very great indeed.  From the moment he went to Iraq I was unable to really concentrate on much else but that he was there.  I wore a yellow bracelet, the little ones that cost a dollar, that said courage.  A relationship I was in broke up because I all cared about was Travis.  I had moved to Virginia to be with my oldest son when we received the news that he had been wounded and they would stabilize him before he went to Germany.  He died in Baghdad a week later.   The night I learned of his death, I had my first dream of Travis.  He was sitting beside my on the sofa, and we were just talking.  I asked him what was it like, was he ok, could he come back?  And he said he did not have the words to explain it where I could understand, and they he could not come back.  When I woke up, I felt as if I had indeed been speaking with him.  There are many ways to interpret this dream.  One is that not being able to cope my mind concocted it to protect me in some way.  Another is that it is something I just wished for.  I believe it was something else, something to give me comfort because I don't think I could have made it without that.   We all love our children so much, and it is our job to protect them.  When we can't, we feel we have failed.  But we raise our children to leave, be on their own, and their experiences make up their lives.  It hurts so much to lose them.  We all would instantly give our lives for theirs.  

I don't know why they didn't let you touch your son, or see him.  Mother's do not care what our children look like, we want to see them.  We need to.  I think it would help if you try to visualize your son doing something he loved.  close your eyes and see that smile.  Keep that in your mind and keep in your mind the fact that he loved you more than anything in the world.  I don't know how I know, I just do. God bless you.

At 6:02pm on December 21, 2010, ELOY CONRAD DURAN II said…

   Jovani Muniz was 16 yrs old when he and the other gang members (up to 15 other thugs)  jumped, and then murdered my son,  he is 17 yrs old now...Because the family of Jovani  Muniz hired a Prominent Murder Defense atty. named Walter Gerash (to the tune of a reported $200,000.00) ...the Denver District Attys. Office fell into a flight, not fight stance...I fought with the DA'S office for a whole month...I wanted a trial, and was willing to take the chance of acquittal....I truly believe we had a lot of evidence....enough, to convict him of First Degree Murder....to no avail...they thought it best to accept the plea bargain, with the special circumstances being he would serve his time (6yrs max.) in Youthful Offender System...Thank You Walter Gerash...the name alone brought this atrocity home, and embedded in my soul...Forever...   

At 6:02pm on December 21, 2010, ELOY CONRAD DURAN II said…

   Jovani Muniz was 16 yrs old when he and the other gang members (up to 15 other thugs)  jumped, and then murdered my son,  he is 17 yrs old now...Because the family of Jovani  Muniz hired a Prominent Murder Defense atty. named Walter Gerash (to the tune of a reported $200,000.00) ...the Denver District Attys. Office fell into a flight, not fight stance...I fought with the DA'S office for a whole month...I wanted a trial, and was willing to take the chance of acquittal....I truly believe we had a lot of evidence....enough, to convict him of First Degree Murder....to no avail...they thought it best to accept the plea bargain, with the special circumstances being he would serve his time (6yrs max.) in Youthful Offender System...Thank You Walter Gerash...the name alone brought this atrocity home, and embedded in my soul...Forever...   

At 3:02pm on December 21, 2010, Debra said…

The day after my father's funeral, I went into the bathroom to put some clothes in the washer, and there was Daddy's everyday "garden" boots, the kind older men like to wear in the rural areas, work boots we called them.  And inside one of the boots was a brand new penny, shiny as can be.  I believe that was a sign from my father.  I have found dreams help me deal with all of the loss.  Every time I dream of my son he is wearing white, and he is smiling.  I have had dreams where we spent the day together, and it was glorious.  I think these are all signs that they are ok.  God bless your son, and God bless you, too.  I don't know why he had to go, and I know it hurts you so much, but I really believe we will see them again one day.

At 1:58pm on December 21, 2010, Sarah McConnell said…

Thanks for your comment, Terri.  I share your shock and disbelief at losing a child so suddenly and violently.  My son stopped breathing on impact, although they worked for a long time to revive him at the hospital.  I had a realization a few months ago that my son was one of the lucky ones.  He was so happy and full of life right up to the second he died.  He was never sick, never had to endure disease and all the treatment that comes with it, and he didn't have to languish brain damaged but alive, which is what surely would have happened had they saved his body.  This was a realization I came to at a time when I was mired down in the "why him, why me, why MY son?" part of grief.  I know it's unfair.  I know it feels ridiculous to still be here while your son has left, but I pray that you can find some peace, somewhere.  It's there for you, I know it is, and although it doesn't end the pain, a little peace will at least give you a moment of rest. 

At 12:48am on December 21, 2010, Debra said…

The penny!  I believe the same thing.  Whenever we find a penny someone we lost is thinking of us.  There is nothing I can really say to lessen your pain right now.  I know you hurt so bad.  Your son sounds like a wonderful young man, and where ever he is now, he is watching over you.  I believe this with all my heart and soul.  Just know you will be in my thoughts on Christmas.  God bless you, and God bless your son.

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