Thinking of you Jill...

Jill:

 

Im so sorry that you had to go thru all of that, lawyers can be so uncaring

when my son died even though we knew it was his fault a friend of my cousin wanted the case and work on it, well as I said he learn't it was my sons' fault but the seat broke and pushed jonathan into the sterling wheel, this lawyer was oh seats can't break it's the manufacturers fault and so on and so on, now he won't even return our calls we have the pictures from the wreck and even spoke to the head detective on the case and yes the truck buckled under my sons seat and the seat did break, we just want answers and since now you would have to sue a big company this lawyer just ignores our calls my husband still wants to get anothe lawyer involved but i just need to be finished with this and end that horrible day, our lives will never be the same but sometimes you need one closure so you can at least get that part over with, my God bless you and your family they same time heals everything i don't think time will do much for any of us except for the time we all can be with our child again.

Jill, I am so sorry for the loss of your son, daughter-in-law and father.  My son died on June 8, 2009 from complications of pneumonia, 9 days after he went to his doctor with symptoms of a very bad cough & cold, difficulty breathing, etc. She dismissed him, saying, "You're not that sick.  You don't have pneumonia or flu". This diagnosis was given without so much as an x-ray.  She wouldn't prescribe the antibiotics that would have saved his life.  She was callous and uncaring, but the various lawyers we've spoken to said that if this went to court, she would win.  It seems, so far, that the Board of Medicine thinks she "followed protocol" and is not responsible for his death. We don't care about money, just the fact that she hasn't been held accountable for her substandard care of our son.  He was so kind, intelligent, funny, loved animals, especially cats, helpful to everyone.  His sense of humor was wonderful, especially when anyone felt "down".  I don't understand, as I'm sure you don't understand how this could happen.  We are not supposed to outlive our children.  Our son was always healthy, except for allergies.  I too am so thankful for this website...to meet other bereaved parents who understand the continuing pain and agony that is our lives. I feel as though I died too, and wonder why I'm still here.  Peace and hugs to you.  Todd's Mom, Janet

Jill,

I am truly sorry for all the losses you suffered so close together, I can't even imagine.

Thank you so much for responding to me, your words were very helpful and encouraging.

It's so strange, when you imagine losing a child, it's nothing like it actually is.  It is so horrible that it's unimaginable.

Your response really means a lot to me.  Thank you.

Jill I am so sorry for the loss of your son, I feel like you, losing my daughter was the worst thing in this world. I can not get over this and I know I never will. I come on the computer but sometimes I just read what people write and I still just freeze up and I start to cry. Christmas will be 6 months without her and I no I can not make it throgh that day. I wish all the best to you and your family I will say a prayer for all our children Hugs to you Donna

Your message is a good one Jill. So very sorry for the losses in your life,
especially your son.

I have such very bad days and it has only been 7 months since I lost my
treasured son, Chad. Somedays it seems like just yesterday and other days it
seems like its been forever since I was with my beautiful son.

I know Chad would want me to fight. He was a brave, good and awesome son and
human being.

On my good days I tell him "I will not disappoint you just as you have never
disappointed me". Then there are the bad days.

He and I will do this together (with a little help from our friends). A journey
of faith is a journey of love, so I ask God to help me be strong. Strong for
my husband, my three other precious children, strong for me and most especially,
strong for my heart and soul ... a kid named Chad.

Lisa (Chad's mom)

jill , the problem was taken care of. i am the co leader of compassionate friends in longview texas.... i do not need any feed back. the person i needed to talk to called me.thank you for your concern.

Jill,

I really got a lot from your posting. You made me think about us not understanting eternity. I believe my son to be with Jesus; however, where you said your son would not want to come back to the pain and suffering of this world; my 18 year old son was loving life, adored by his family, loved by his friends. He would not have wanted to leave, and I think ... just me thinking mind you ... he would want to finish the things he dreamed of doing. He wanted to ask a girl someday, the right one, to marry him. He wanted to say "look mom, dad .... this is my daughter or this is my son". I don't know. There are no words, but I will think on what you said. Thank you. And I do believe, religion is not something we should fight over. Lisa (Chad's mom)

YOU ARE SO TRUE I DO SHARE MY FEELINGS HERE IT SEEMS LIKE NO ONE UNDERSTANDS, I MISS HIM SO AND FRIDAYS ARE HARD THATS WHEN I FOUND OUT. I NO I WILL BE WITH HIM AGAIN BUT MY HEART IS TORN APART,HE WAS MY BABY I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD LOSE ONE OF MY SPECIAL KIDS,WHO MENT SO MUCH TO ME. I HAVE HAD A DAY IN BED HOPING TOMORROW I WILL FEEL LIKE DOING SOMETHING,I NO HE WOULDNT WANT ME TO BE IN SO MUCH PAIN HE NEVER COULD STAND IT IF I WAS UPSET, SO FOR YOU MY DEAR SON JUSTIN MOM HIS GOING TO TRY HER BEST,ILOVE AND MISS YOU SO,BUT I DO HAVE ALOT OF GREAT MEMORIES OF MY BABYS IM SURE ALL YOU MOM DO. LOVE AND FEEL YOUR PAIN MOMS LOVE JUSTINS MOM PAM

HELLO JILL THANK YOU, TAMMY E

hello jill i hpoe your doing as good as you can. It is hard only us parents would understand,boy how i wish we didnt have too be in this club of loosing a child,our heart hurts so bad we are just here for some reason i dont know what,i guess for the family we have left and god please dont bring them home. take care i hope you get this i'm not very good on it,i never get any responces. JUSTINS MOM PAM

JILL SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR LOSS,MY SON PASSED OCT.3,O8 YOU HAD YOUR SON 10 DAYS LONGER THAN MINE. I WAS JUST SAYING LAST YEAR I THINK I WAS IN A COMA THIS YEAR HAS BEEN TERABLE,IT IS SO REAL NOW EVEN THOUGH I NO IT IS. I DONT WANT TO GO IN THE STORE AND HERE THE MUSIC I REALLY DONT LIKE DOING ANYTHING I JUST PUSH MYSELF. I LOVED AND MISS HIM SO AS IM SURE YOU DO. ALL WE HAVE IS OUR MEMORIES AND HE HAD A SET OF TWINS THAT WILL 1 THE 26TH OF THIS MONTH,THAT HE NEVER GOT TO SEE AND TWO OLDER CHILDREN 12 AND 11 AND THE TWINS WAS BORN ON THER BROTHERS BITHDAY 26 OF DECEMBER. THEY HELP ALOT AND I HAVE TWO OTHER CHILDREN,BUT AS YOU KNOW NO WON CAN TAKE THERE PLACE,I HAD HIM FOR 31 YEARS OH HOW I MISS HIM BUT THEY ARE ALWAYS IN OUR HEART. JUSTINS MOM

Yes, Jill it is absolutly normal. My son died October 15th, 2007. The 2nd Christmas was much harder. This Christmas is our 3rd and we are focusing on family. We are all coming together to enjoy each other for the first time in 12 years. I think through all of our pain we have realized anyone of us can be gone at any time. My heart goes out to you, I know exactly what you are fealing.

Hi Jill just read your post about the second year, I am only going into my first Christmas, but I am on a lot of other sites for loss of Children and I can tell you that each and everyone of them say that the second year is harder than the first... I cant even imagine that. I couldnt even open up my boxes with our decorations in them because I was so terrified what would happen if I saw Joeys stalking or ornaments that I have collected over the past that. My Mom sent home a pre lit fibre optic tree and Im Ok with it, It is pretty and peaceful to just stare at and veg. I am going to try to keep myself extra busy by cooking again, I did it for Thanksgiving and I survived, It will be 6 months on the 22 of dec since we lost Joey, It seems that we havent stopped, and I am glad for that, Oh and I have to add, that I have aged about 10 years since he left too. Im sorry I took all this to blab about my feelings, when we are trying to help you, Can I just suggest that whatever feeling you are having, GOOD or BAD, Please write them here, I swear it helps to write them down, and it really helps to tell it to others that REALLY know what you are going through, If we lived closer we could all hold each other and have a HUGE whine fest, I would love that, just release it all.... Please take care, and know that others are thinking of you and CARE deeply.
XO Tami

Oh Jill, I am so sorry your son died and left another bereaved mother. It is absolutely normal, for what you are going through. My daughter died suddenly in a car accident in 92 and my son died suddenly in 07. My ?normal" this year is filled with grief.
I have not been in the mood for any paty of festivities, this year. I have only bought my 23 yr. old son a couple of gifts and he nows what they are. Nothing else has been bought for anyone. My contribution to the Christmas tree that my husband put up is pre-lit but the only decorations I put up were three buttons with pics of my 3 children and 3 angels and I put the tree skirt around the tree. I sent out about 5 cards today. Every year is a new normal for me. After my 21 year old daughter died, I had 2 young boys to think about. After my 25 year old son died, we put up a small tree and last year, we decorated just in hope that it would lift our spirits. None of us can get into it this year. I don't want to shop, cook or want any gifts.
I just want it to be February, because next month will be the 18th year without my daughter. I am proof that, it never gets better or easier. Just different!
Do the best you can everyday and know you have support through this painful journey!
Hugs,
Syl

Hi to all. I have been a member of this group for a while. It was a wonderful thing to find LegacyConnect. I continue to be amazed at how many of us there are! Have the rest of you realized how we all express the same pain? Most of us use the same words! I have read and reread many comments as it is a comfort to know so many understand how I feel. I mean really understand and know. And I cry when I see new names have joined the group as I know the pain they are in as I am. The 13th of October will be the 1st anniversary of my son's death. He was 41 yrs old when he died. His death was sudden. He just had cardiac arthymia and died. Our son's wife had died (and my Dad) just 5 months before our son. It seems we just live inside a world of pain. We know that all 3 of these loved ones are with our Lord, enjoying so much together which gives us joy. We would never wish them back to this crazy world. But now a year has passed and it seems like the grief is the same as it was at the time. I know some things have changed within me, but I had hoped to be further along the journey by now. The thing I know thats changed is the "shock" is gone. I had grown to love the "shock" because it masked the pain and reality of losing our Michael. Sometimes the pain seems like it goes thru the chest and pokes out my back--that I am simply a mass of pain. And many times I thank God for the pain because if the pain wasn't there, I would never feel anything at all. The pain proves to me that I am alive. I know this is very sad and believe that it will ease sometime. I wish that time could be now so that I could believe I am gaining on the acceptance that half my family is no longer with me. I just want to thank all of you for being strong enough to share your thoughts and feelings on this page. When we walk thru the grief journey and come out on the other side, we will all be so strong, nothing this world can do to us will ever match this pain. We will be survivors and able to find ways to help others walking this same walk. I know this is what my Michael would want us to do. Help each other to help others. I continue to pray for you all each day. God Bless. Jill

Thank you for the encouragement; it is greatly appreciated! I experienced lots and lots of depression thru Mother's Day, coming out of that just in time for Memorial Day weekend! This weekend, our daughter-in-laws adult children are coming to visit, to go thru some of her things, photos etc. We are so looking forward to the visit but I dread the tears empty sickness we will have as we continue to accept the reality that our loved ones are really gone! It is so hard to adjust to all of this-losing Dad, our daughter-in-law and then our son in 5 months. That is so much reality. It is very, very difficult.

Hi Jill
I'm so sorry for all your losses especially our son. I had a cousin years ago that lost her 3 year old daughter to a drunk driver and a couple of years ago my best friend lost her son also to a drunk driver. They both went thru a living hell, many times both wanting to end their lives BUT they go thru it with lost of support and faith. You have to have faith that you will be okay one day. My friend is now involved deeply with Mother against drunk driving. All I can say is I have a son and I would be devasted if he passed on before me. As parents we always say we don't want to outlive our children but sometimes things happen and I have to believe there's a reason for it. Both my cousin and friend will tell you that they are so much stronger today because of what they have been thru BUT getting thru it is tough and a long road. Just take one second at a time and believe he is in a better place than we are. Blessings ... Ada Van Dongen