Christy, thank you so much for your warm hug and best wishes. I am so glad I found this site with all of you wonderful people who truly understand what I am going through. I know we all hate this club we are in, but we have each other. Warm hugs to you also.
Thank you for all of your encouragement - not just for me but for so many who come to this site to share their pain and sadness. I know you are hurting just as much as any one of us and I think you have a point - when we reach out to comfort others, encourage them and pray for them, it helps us. I am finding that more and more. It is so hard to imagine life without Dave at my side and I know that you have those same feelings. You two were a very nice looking couple and it sounds like you had a wonderful relationship.
My grief counselor has shared that she really wants me to journal my thoughts - she said I can see you being someone to share your story with other women who may be facing challenges. She said "you have a quiet strength about you that could really inspire other women who need to be encouraged." I see that in your as well Christy - thank you for your kindness and words of encouragement. May you be encouraged as well and may the kindness you extend towards others be returned to you 10 fold. God bless you!
hello christy . each of us must do whatever is right for us to survive . my approach worked for me but still at any given time when i am on the beach alone i may start crying . i guess the best advise any of us can say to one another is take one day at a time to keep putting one foot forward and doing whatever is necessary to avoid allowing our grief to comsume us to point we are simply waiting to die . we have 2 choices live or die . when i say live i don't mean simply counting to breath but actually finding a way to enjoy and appreciae the fact we are alive . in that respect i am very very lucky .
Thank you Christy - you are so right - to lose someone so suddenly is so painful (either way it stinks though). Thank you for your words on encouragement. I am seeing a grief counselor and she said that we are on a steady decline after a significant loss like this and studies show by month 6 we bottom out and start coming back up again. I am at month 4 and boy do I feel the decline - it seems harder each day to face my new reality.
Hello Chrsty....My father in law did spend the night..i spent the first night and came home after i made sure sumone was there with Gary...I told them if he has any problems or ask for me to call anytime cause i was like 15 min away from the hospital...i wanted to be home with my son also...and i know gary undestood cause i told him i was goin home and i asked him twice to make sure he understood.....i find out that he was having bad nights and was asking for me yet my in laws never called me..ughh i tell ya heartless selfish people that just have to live with theirselves ..gary knows how they are and I KNOW in my heart i was doin the right thing and that's all that counts..ohh i'm totally with you with so called CHRITIAN thing...pathedit aren't they...okay enough of my babbling....Lots of hUgs!!
Thank you Christy, I am so glad that I found this site. It is hard for me to talk to most people about the way I feel since my wife passed away. I can talk to my daughter who is taking the loss of her Mom bad.Somtimes she comes over to my house and just starts crying,so I try not to talk much about her Mom to her. Maybe in time it will get easier for all of us here.
Thank you so much, Christy. That e-hug did me GOOD! Feel one right back.
I can feel the love between you and your Larry. It is so, so hard to lose them, and yet we still have them in so many ways, so I guess concentrating on that part of things helps defray the grief of the parts lost to us for now.
Christy, thanks for your support. Yes, I do remember what a difficult time that you had letting Larry's truck go. It helps to know that I have friends who really do understand how I feel. I am putting it in God's hands and I know he will give me peace about this. I never knew that getting rid of material things could be so painful, but I do know that what matters most is remembering the love that we shared and being thankful for all the blessings that God has given me. May God bless and keep you.
Christy, I just read your post and wanted to let you know I feel so bad for you not having any say so about your husbands passing. It should not matter if you were "legallly" married or not. If the both of you felt married, his parents should respect that. But I know that does not always happen. Neal and I were married 40 years and his Mother never did accept me fully into the family. The night Neal died she came to see him and then left, she would not even stay with my sons and I until he took his last breath. She left and went to her sisters to visit instead of staying with her son in his last hours. When she did that, I completely wrote her off. She has not even called my sons, her grandsons, to see how they are doing. She has called my house 2 times in five months. When I see it is her number I do not even answer. I have no time for her. So try not to let those insensitive parents get to you. Just keep his gravesite nice and with flowers. He would understand. My heart is with you. Hugs
Christy, it was very hard to let some of his things go. I really hated getting rid of his old truck, but it was an 89 model and it was just sitting in the yard and not being cranked or driven. He didn't drive it anymore I had to sell the truck he drove because I couldn't afford the notes on it. I just feel like I have let him down in some way. I hope these feelings will pass with time. Thanks for listening.
You are so right. I love to hear any stories about my husband. When I started to get teary, my student looked concerned. I told her it was ok. I cry at least once a day, and I let her know it was good to hear her story, and to not stop because of my tears.
My parents live close to Jacksonville, about 30 to 45 minutes from the beach. Next time I come through there I'll let you know and maybe we can meet somewhere . I would really like that. Take care and hugs to you. Cindy
Hi Christy, I have to admit that Jim's celebration on Sunday wasn't so bad. I think it was because I was too busy comforting my daughters and grandaughters. Yesterday was kind of rough until I watched Jim's video. I was able to look at his beautiful brown eyes and that was a comfort. We will get through this Christy, with God's help, we will get through. We have alot of great people here that will help us also. Thanks for your help. Hugs to you.
Christy, I think the only thing that gets me through this is trying to honor and continue loving Gene. It is so hard when they are taken from us like that. I still cant beleive it because I never got to kiss him or see him or touch him. It's almost like he is still on the road and hasn't come home yet. I think thats how I get through sometimes. I go to the cemetary and sit and talk to him, cry, and talk some more. I miss him so much. I truely lost part of me when I lost him. We should try to get together sometime, I live in Birmingham, Al. I go through there when I go visit my mom and dad in North Carolina.Well thanks for listeening to me go on and on. Hugs!!!!!
Got home from my Florida trip yesterday. Had a wonderful time with my Aunt. The weather was wonderful. I sat on her porch every morning and enjoyed the sunshine. Something I have missed the last 4 months. But reallity started setting in Sunday before I came home. I started to think about comming home to an empty house. Luckily my sons and grandsons all came to see me when I got home yesterday and made it easier. Taking the trip was a good idea. I needed to get away and just rest away from here. Hugs, Linda
Hi Christy - this is quite beautiful and timely for me. My eldest daughter reminds that we have a lot to be grateful for in our lives. We know our darling husband and father John is pain free now and surrounded by love and we don't have to watch him suffering any longer. Our family is expecting our first grandchild in June, another gift. God does love us and he takes care of us in so many ways, many of which you describe above.
Christy, also in reference to your latest post. I think it is a wonderful idea you have to form a visitation group. This is God's work and I know the people you visit will appreciate it so very much and look forward to those visits. I wish you Godspeed on your new adventure.