Deb, I just noticed this post from last year & see that you will be having another birthday on Saturday. I'm so sorry that it is connected in such a painful way to your husband's passing. I hope that you have found a way to reconcile the feelings of loss. I feel the same way. My husband was a healthy 38 yr. old who died because of someone's neglect on the job, in an "accident." Our lives were full of hope & plans for our future together. He graduated from the university just 1 month before, had accepted a promotion & was enrolled for his Masters in Business at the University  when he was killed August 27, 2010. Life was GREAT! Now I exist as 1/2  of what I was and hope & plans are just memories now. I am believing that this is God's plan & that in time things will change/improve. Wherever you are on your walk, I wish you well and hope your year is filled with peace, love and purpose.

Hi Deb, I'm catching up on posts I haven't been here in the past several days, and I read the one you wrote about singing "solo"- I love that! You sharing those memories with the girls is wonderful! I love those moments also. The other night I shared dinner with my son & daughter, both in thier 20s , and we were enjoying it so much we kept saying "Mmmmm" & when we got through eating I was beginning to miss Larry (he loved a good meal)! I told told my kids I was sorry & I know they are probably tired of me feeling this way, but the both said "No, we miss him too." Then they both said  "Here mom, does this make you feel better?" and they exposed their belly's & began to rub in delight, just like Larry. We all laughed & it was great.

God bless us all as we make our way in this world w/ them in our hearts, our souls & our thoughts. Hugs~

Deb, don't apoligize for posting a good memory of your Junior.  We all need to post good stories and memories.  Here on this site everyone appreciates the story.  Keep posting. HUGS

hi deb: i am not posting to much on this site i am being busy trying to put on a baby shower for  my daughter in law. i have the hall she is registered now just get some address of people and i would be happy i really do  not keep in touch with george family so i do not know if they will be interested or not if not no big deal more food for me. how are you doing: hope everything is going ok for you you take care of yourself

I hope you are doing okay and coping with the holidays, these are my first ones without him. It is very hard to go through these without him.

Deb, I thank you for being my friend. I miss him so much, like you there are so many first without him. I have a hard dealing with watching him take his last breath it haunts me. When will it get better, I sure don't know if it ever will. When ever I go into a store it is so different by myself, he was always with me. I keep telling myself he's here with me in spirit, but somehow I want to here his voice to let me know he's okay. It's so hard to talk to people who haven't gone through this.

deb: it is so wonderful to hear georges voice on his voice mail where he used to work they never took off the recording thank god. i needed to hear this because this is the only thing i have of his beside some clothes his wallet and the good memories people told me i should get his voice on my phone i think by a memory card i call him at least 2 times a day one in the early morning and then just before i go to bed time things finally are looking up

Thank you Deb. Things have tapered down for me so now I can catch up with myself. God knows why, I have no life anymore. All I can do is share with you and understand. And of course, hugs to you. Hugs are good.

deb thanks i really had a nice birthday and pool party we went to my sons house saturday had a good group of people there. they asked me how i was doing after i told them they left me alone which i thought was great. take care keep in touch

Thank you Deb. It has been a rough road and getting rougher.I miss so LouAnn so much. I am sorry for your grief and we all share in this together.I died when she died and that is making it very difficult to deal with yet more deaths and dying.I'm way past my limit. I'm hanging in there though. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.

Deb, My sympathy to you. I am sure that the first anniversary must be very difficult. I still have a few months before I have to face that. My heart goes out to you because I know what I am feeling and I can understand what others are going through. i have gone through my birthday but still have his birthday and our wedding anniversary and then the anniversary of his death. I hate life without him. Please know that we do understand and can really sympathize with each other and truly mean it. I hope you will have a good day.

hi deb: thanks i cannot wait to go. i know george knew i liked going to ac but i think he was afriad of me going along because of my health issues will let you know monday take care

deb i just realized the answer as to why i cannot sleep i was on the medication amdromin (for the heart) they doctor gave me multaq in place of the amromin which i did not realize it. so in the meantime i was taken both. i am thinking that is why i was tired all the time: deb memories do not leave overnight just think of the good times you had with junior.are you on medication.? when i can not sleep i used to take somonix but the next day i could not keep my eyes opened to i stopped taking it. i will see how this goes when i do the right medication i think i was overdozing deb we are all no good without our loved ones i know i miss george so much i talk to him every morning when i get up i open my cell phone the see his picture i kiss it and tell him what the grandchildren are doing at night i kiss him good night and go to bed take deb you did not lose your mind we are all going thru the horrible time that is why i like this site because everyone is there for each other in times of need

no things are not good without my husband i am lost my kids do support me no one does its so hard i feel like i lost my mind i often ask god why did you take himhes been gone three months today

Hellooooo Deb !
Goldie is doing O.K. ! Thanks for asking .
All the kitties are fine too !
They broke a statue that was my wife Loni's mother's, and a vase filled with marbles at the same time. Marbles everywhere ! Not their fault though, I should have put them up a long time ago. It didn't help any that I was chasing them with the flea spray bottle at the time ! The vase and marbles didn't matter, the statue was Loni's mothers . I going to miss that. It was called " the lady in alabaster " and it was so pretty.

thank you i am okaybut at times i just wanna go off and cry but i write in my journal thank you for being here

thank you and i will get back with you

thank you it is very hard for me i didnt wanna ask for help but i am finding very hard to understand i live in oklahoma

Valentine's Day, and he's not here. I miss my fiance, Junior, so very much! He died on June 20, 2009. I met him in about 1965; we have always been friends. I was 12 years old, he was 24. He had a 34-year-marriage with his ending due to his wife's death. I had a 28-year-marriage that ended in divorce in 2002. (My ex-husband died May 27, 2009.) My fiance and I had planned to get married early June 2009, but he went from walking-standing and fine, to the next week-being unable to get out of bed or walk because of the cancer. Needless to say, we didn't get married. The morning he died, I was sitting holding his hand. Hospice nurse had told me the day before that it would be a long weekend. He was in pain, and I had prayed that God take him if He couldn't make him better. Within a half-hour, my Junior's breathing changed, and his grasp on my hand loosened! I will never, ever forget the feeling that went through me at that very moment . . . he's gone. Today is so very hard without my baby!!! I miss his kiss, his touch, his hug, his laugh, and the security I felt with him--and yes, I still cry every day. Keep me in your prayers today please - I have a wedding to attend, and I just DON'T want to go. It's one of those "have-to" things . . you know, a family member. I'm just not looking forward to it at all. I know it will remind me of the wedding that Junior and I were unable to have, the future plans that will never happen . . maybe I can just remember that even death cannot take my love, my memories, or my feelings for my guy! He was the love of my life . . as he put it, I wish that we had more years together, hon. Thank you for listening - that helps! Happy Valentine's Day, baby.