Dear Miss Julie, I am a neighbor of yours here in Braselton GA. My deepest condolences for you!!! Your daughter is beautiful. The accidents in this state are rampant. I got a knot in my throat when I read your experience- I was just in a terrible accident myself, due to someones carelessness the carelessness of people these days is worsening. I am so sorry to hear your daughters story, especially so close to home. Again my condolences and prayers. Ecclesiastes 9:11 "time and unforeseen occurrence befall us all" such a sad reality. Thankfully we are promised to see our loved ones again!
Julie , Im so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter , I understand what you are going though , every passing day gets harder , I too have to fight back the tears as I go about my day , then when all alone at nite is when I break down and cry myself to sleep then wake up in tears. Im sure your daughter will leave you a sign she is with you and is ok. Jarrett has left us many of signs so unbelieveable how strong his spirt is. My prayers are with you.
You mentioned that you were at a gas pump and thought she was playing tricks on you. I stopped at a consignment store they sell items from the season and had a whole wall of Christmas ornaments and I was drawn to the angel ornaments. A lady approached me and asked me if I bought things from the store and if I did I had to "Remove the negative energy" " light a tea light and run your hand over it and say Bad energy be gone...." I told her she was scaring me and laughed. She gave me her card and said that she worked at an engineering company around the corner and something made her come over there. All of a sudden she started flinching her eyes really hard and rapidly and her upper body started jerking she looked like she was having a petite mall seizure. But in the next second she looked at me and said “Is there a man in his 30's?" My heart stopped and I asked her why she asked me that... I goggled her when I got home her firm was a Pipeline engineering firm that my son was required to take his courses. I was never a believer unless I could touch it or understand it . Her card read Onthewingsofangels I actually felt him that whole weekend both his sadness in the loss of his leaving behind his beloved kids and I felt his heartbreak and sorrow as I stood holding a sweater of his to my chest. I went to his grave that weekend and I actually heard his laughter at me for putting so much stuff on his grave. He was not a foo foo person and I had placed a wreath and tree..his grave was already covered in flowers and gifts. I truly heard him laughing and he asked me what I was doing and I spoke out loud and laughed telling him that this was what people were supposed to do. Am I a believer? How can I not be? Why is it this complete stranger comes up to me and asks if there is a man in his 30's? So Julie your beautiful daughter very well could have be playing with the gas pumps. Take it as a sign that she is with you. My thoughts to you
My heart goes out to you. I came across the picture of your beautiful child as I was searching for a picture I had seen previously of a girl letting go of balloons and superimposed over the girls' head was the ladies son face. She had never taken a picture of him with her new camera yet he appeared in the picture.I had seen it a few days ago and was trying to find it again when the picture of your beautiful girl appeared. Julie I read your blog and it touched my heart as you spoke of those last 14 minutes.. did she hurt.. what was she thinking? I too lost my son this past summer in a head on collision. It took hours for them to get him from the rural site to a hospital 5 hours away. He worked as a consultant in the oil fields and this happened in a very small town. I flew in with family and friends from where I live and was able to be with him. Julie what has eaten me alive for months now is the what if's,... Did he suffer? I had asked the medical examiner... my answer was ...If it helps he did try to swerve. Like you I had to see the accident site and a month later my 17 year old daughter and I drove 10 hours to place a cross on the site. He was on life support for 2 days. I have now learnt to "shut my mind down" when the thoughts of his last moments appear. It rips the inside of me open and I the tears flow. I can only tell myself that he is gone, it is over he can't suffer. It does NOT take away any of the pain it is still so fresh. It just helps me cope and cope we must.
Please try not to be upset at your friend, at my first grief counseling group they all talked about how their friends just walked away, but it's them not knowig how you would feel about seeing their daughter alive while yours is gone, I have had alot of my friends who have children my son's age i haven't heard from since the funeral I know they just don't know what to say, after awhile i will get back in contact with them but right now i couldn't go. Good luck with the holidays and you are in my prayers
Samantha was 18, enrolled into collage, a model, and going to be a cop, and she was a published poet.
Samantha slip in the bathtub and drowned, she bump her head, we were getting ready to go shopping for my nephew, i was in the bathroom and i got a phone call i was only gone 10 minutes she complete light blue from head to toe, she was dead, I yanked her out no pluse called 911 and her friend came over right after I brought her back the water came out, but it is not like the movies she just stared at me with the color of her blue eyes faded, i did not stop till EMT got there, they air lifted her, she was brain dead, she lived 3 days and had a heart attack, they said if she had one more she would die, and they would not be able to use her organs, she wanted to be an organ donor, she donated blood all the time, so I told them to take her off the machine but if she shows any improment to put her back on, time they got her surgery she had another heart attack they could only use her kindeys she save a pastor wow how may souls did her kindey save it is amazing and a father of three,, she lost her father, and I know she did not want those children to go thru what she did, she is my hero was and is my best friend, i miss her dearly she would be 21, my father killed himself on x mas so she would set up the tree, then we would decorated, she would but christmas songs on and we would sing them together.
I just go thru the motion, my step children put the tree up, i just got married, if it was not for my husband and GOD i would have lost it by now.
thanks for writing me, try to take moment by moment it is so hard at first, and the pain i am sorry does not go away, but you learn to deal, it is very hard around holidays but we are here for each other, hugs
Your daughter is beautiful, I know it very hard around the holidays, I just wanted to thank you for the angel watching over us, that was very nice of you. I miss Samantha it has been 3 years and today I don't know what to with my self, I am most of the time I am, guess I am angry again or depressed i don't know wich, I thought I was over that, guess not, any way try to make all the memories positive, as hard as they may be, I should talk as tears roll down my cheek, try to have a Merry Christmas I am going to try, or sleep through it I did that the first year. guess I not too positive today I am sorry, thanks again for the angel. melissa
Like your daughter my son was killed in a accident although it was ruled as his fault he was 25 feet from his turn lane where he turned onto our street what they think happened is they are widing the main street to 4 lanes and there use to be a middle lane they removed it like a week befoe he died but either way he went headon with another driver my son was 17 and was to graduate in May the other driver is ok he had a bad heart and when he heard about jonathan dying he had another heart attack at the hospital but at least he is alright, like you we will never se our children get married or have children this was my only child with my husband i have another one duaghter and 2 step children but my babys legacy died on november 19th, I don't know why the good have to die some times i do good but like you other times i feel like im falling apart my husband is going back to work tongith this will be the first time im alone at night and i don't know how im going to handle that it has been jonathan and myself here at night alone for awhile and that was our time together god how im going to miss that
Hi Julie your daughter is beautiful. I am in the same situation I used to say sorry but it seems sensless. It is true but hard to believe.I don't know what to say... her picture is so beautiful. as are the photos of my son having fun with his friends. i still don't believe it he pops into my mind then the problem pops in... you know what I mean. we all do... I wish we were all close together so we could encourage eachother. there are some poems out there. one about the dash... the dash inbetween birth and __ .. yes it is a hard word. but it was cute in saying that the dash was what was important... love to you as i ball up with tears about my sons dash.. and wanting it to be longer.. love to you carrie L
Hi Julie - thanks for your reply. I, too, struggle with the what ifs and if onlys. Tyler was blessed with many, many wonderful friends and a beautiful girlfriend who would have been the same age as your daughter. Looking back on the first four months, I can't believe I actually survived. I couldn't cook, shop, drive a car, none of the things you take for granted every day. I clearly was in shock and really didn't realize it until I looked back. Many many days of incredible pain, sorrow, longing. And added to that the knowledge that I will never experience any of those things with my son. His best friend is getting married on the 11th, and we were invited to the wedding. I can't imagine going and looking up and knowing Tyler should have been standing in the best man's spot. Another child would not ease any of the pain or sorrow, but at least I would still have something to look forward to in life. Now I truly have nothing. What are your plans for the holidays?
Always Tyler's Mom
Dear Julie - I lost my only child, Tyler, on January 26, 2010. He was 24 years old and would have turned 25 on September 19th. He was the love of my life, my reason for living, my best friend, my closest confidante. We, too, took a Christmas picture in front of the tree every year - Tyler, my husband and myself. I can't bear seeing trees for sale, hearing holiday music, can't even imagine goint to the attic and bringing down the decorations. Your daughter is a beautiful girl. How old was she? I know we all suffer the same, but somehow I know that when it is your only child there is so much more to grieve - never seeing them marry, have children, start their own life. He doesn't even leave a wife or child for me to stay connected to. I honestly don't know why I am still here - he was my purpose in life and now he is gone. I cannot imagine living another 20 or 30 years without him. Please keep in touch - it is difficult to find parents who have lost only children. I will pray for you, your husband and your beautiful daughter as I do for my own.
That was a great story about ur daughter. I have one too about my son. He was a Jr. in high school and one of my friends who lived in another town close by called and asked if he would take her daughter to her Jr. prom as they could not get anyone to accept her invitation. Well to say the least it was very ackward to ask a teenager such a favor but I told him it was up to him totally, if he didn't want to I would just tell them NO. He hadn't even met the girl before.
Well the next day he told me he would go, which I thought was pretty remarkable. So I called my friend and we set it up. Turned out the girl was quite on the heavy side and as you say "not from the poplular crowd" but she was so happy to have a date and go to her prom. We provided our car and a driver and off they went. I am sure she had a great time as Donny was quite the gentleman, but he did say the next time he probably wouldn't do that again. But I always loved that story of him.
His close buddies are having the hardest time accepting his leaving us. He was the first "friend" that they lost. He was 39 at the time, died in his sleep on of all nights Christmas Eve. His poor daughters went to get him up and ready for Christmas at my house and they found him. I still can't believe this happened to our sweet wonderful girls, and a loving family that cared for each and every one of us.
I have pictures of him all around my computer so I see his face everyday I wake up. But tears are right there waiting all the time. I know the next two months are gonna be so tough for all of us. Thank goodness we have this website and can share stories like we do. Gives us some comfort.
Hugs to you today.
Loved your post today with the saying, "Beauty comes within"....this is so true.
My son left 3 beautiful grand daughters and we tell them that all the time.
Your heart is what makes you beautiful.
Your daughter was absolutely beautiful.....so sad all these children had to leave their loving families.
Hugs to you today.....I really liked the 10 minutes of candle lighting last night. Even though I didn't feel anything from my son I did enjoy just feeling like so many mothers/fathers were as one for that time.
I think we should do this through the holidays for all of us .
Julie, Your daughter is beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss. I too have those same thoughts about my son...I tried to get up to the accident scene that night but was held captive near my home by the police. I have been to a psyhchic (sp) She told me that my son was gone before he hit the road (sorry for being so graphic, but my son passed in a motorcycle accident) There was so much more that she said that made me believe, things that nobody could know.... I hope that helps you a little, I know that hearing it from her eased my mind a bit, because she had no clue who I was or who I lost or how
I want you to know how sorry, how truly absolutely sorry I am about your loss. I have not been on Legacy for awhile. . .and felt drawn here tonight.
I think that the people here truly care and want to listen. . .
I have had so many try to tell me so much but I can tell that you will truly appreciate these words. . .
Honey, if Love could have kept you with us. . .you would have lived Forever.
Hi Julie. My name is Anita and I have been following all your messages for over a month now. I too lost my precious son Davey on September 24, 2010. He was taken from this world at around 8:00 am. He just turned 24 in August. His was a motorcycle accident on his way to work. We don't know all that happened because it really doesn't matter..all we know is that he did not suffer. Davey and Cindy entered Heaven almost the same time. I feel connected to you because our angels arrived together. It is very hard to go on everyday. Some days are better than others but none are good. I just returned back to work on November 1 and every day it gets harder and harder to go and stay there. Lets keeo in touch to help each other out. This is an awesome site..if only I could figure out how it works!! I tend to get lost and can't find posts at times. I do include you in my nightly prayers knowing that your days are counted like mine are.
I don't know how to move on.
We just have to try to help each other.
It does help me some being on here with others who are going through the same thing.
It does not change things, my heart is still broke, and I go through times when I am just numb, denial, crying, anger, and heart broken sometimes all of them at once.
Right now I am just numb again.
How old was your daughter?
Take care I am here if you need me
I am sorry for your loss, your daughter is beautiful.
My son passed away on Oct 4th, 2010 he was 24.
This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through and would not wish this on anyone.
I went to my son's grave today to clean up the flowers that wilted, put down some others, and just sit with him.
Even saying that is so hard to have to say I went to my child's grave.
its like a dagger in the heart.
If you go to my page you can read my story.
I wonder if I had went in my son's room sooner if I had went in there after I fixed breakfast if he would be alive today.
The what if's , everybody tells you not to take your mind there but its so hard not too.
Then like you I wonder if my son tried to call out for me, his Iphone was right on his desk but wonder if he was able to text to call out for me.
If you ever need to talk feel free to email me anytime.
That goes for anybody on here.