thank you i appreciate your words.  i am a planner so was planning ahead.  as i knew this would be hard.  and even harder without my mom here too.

you are welcome I just came across one I wrote right after her death see she drowned i brought her back then she died three days later I put it with a pic

you are welcome I just came across one I wrote right after her death see she drowned i brought her back then she died three days later I put it with a pic

Dear Linda,

Thank you for your response about the poem. I will certainly second that,

 what you said about having our loved ones here with us.

All the words in the universe can't really express the sadness written on all our hearts to have to lose them! I pray for all of us to have the strength to carry on. Your friend, Shari

Linda, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter.  Thank you so much for that beautiful poem.  I am going to frame it and bring it to my son's place at the cemetery.  He was such a wonderful young man and loved by all who knew him.  We miss him so much it hurts all the time.  As his mother, I know this terrible pain will never go away and feel so sad all the time.  Hugs from Janet, Todd's mother always

Linda like you i relieve it also today is 4 months but he really died on a friday so friday before is the worse for me, but since he died 500 ft from our house everytime I come that way I find my self saying he was alive here he was alive here and then when I get to the spot I say my son died here and lookover at the cross with all the flowers his friends has put out there, I work tonight so that will help but I was off yesterday and was by myself and that was a awful day you just don't want to go on any longer, but we all know we have to.  Wishing you a peaceful day

 

Terri

Linda:

 

I am thinking about you today, i know it was hard feb 9th when my son would hve been 18 we had a memorial celbration that day so that kept me busy but the pain was still there, I am keeping you in my prayers for the strength to make it thru this day and i will light a extra candle for your daughter tonight with my sons to wish her a happy birthday in heaven.

 

Terri   Jonathan's mom

Linda, my youngest son's birthday is Mar. 1. He'll be 21 y.o.  My deceased son's birthday is May 31. As luck would have it, he was born Tuesday, May 31 the day after Memorial Day. This year it's the same...Tuesday after Memorial Day.

Linda, my youngest son's birthday is Mar. 1. He'll be 21 y.o.  My deceased son's birthday is May 31. As luck would have it, he was born Tuesday, May 31 the day after Memorial Day. This year it's the same...Tuesday after Memorial Day.

Linda,

  I think of how many weeks it's been every Wednesday, the 17th has only happen to me 2X since his passing so I'm not sure if I'm anymore depressed on the 17th than I am any other day.

My son was born Tuesday, May 31, 1983 at 6:52 am, the day following Memorial day. My luck this year has my son's 28th birthday being on Tuesday, May 31, the day following Memorial day. I have to work but I know it'll be a very difficult day, I hope I can get off to work half sane that morning.

Yesterday, being Valentine's Day, I was more depressed than usual. I went to his facebook page and left a note. As I was writing I could feel the tears streaming down my face. I wish I had not written that note but I did and I just can't take my raw feelings at that moment off of his page. Usually when I write little comments friends and family will write their own comment in response or will click the "like" button. No one touched that note. I spilled my true feelings and I think it just made everyone sad. If Valentine's day get's the best of me, no telling what my feelings will be on his birthday.

I think with my sister facing death from cancer was gut wrenching at first. She went through the various treatments and reality sets in. She kept a journal and she was grateful that it was her, not one of her children. My sister was very spiritual, attended mass regularly and had her parish priest over to her house for special days. This was before she found out about her illness. Her whole parish was so helpful through the whole ordeal. My family was very grateful and she passed with all the love that God could bestow on anyone. I need to go, have a comfortable day!

Linda,

  I think of how many weeks it's been every Wednesday, the 17th has only happen to me 2X since his passing so I'm not sure if I'm anymore depressed on the 17th than I am any other day.

My son was born Tuesday, May 31, 1983 at 6:52 am, the day following Memorial day. My luck this year has my son's 28th birthday being on Tuesday, May 31, the day following Memorial day. I have to work but I know it'll be a very difficult day, I hope I can get off to work half sane that morning.

Yesterday, being Valentine's Day, I was more depressed than usual. I went to his facebook page and left a note. As I was writing I could feel the tears streaming down my face. I wish I had not written that note but I did and I just can't take my raw feelings at that moment off of his page. Usually when I write little comments friends and family will write their own comment in response or will click the "like" button. No one touched that note. I spilled my true feelings and I think it just made everyone sad. If Valentine's day get's the best of me, no telling what my feelings will be on his birthday.

I think with my sister facing death from cancer was gut wrenching at first. She went through the various treatments and reality sets in. She kept a journal and she was grateful that it was her, not one of her children. My sister was very spiritual, attended mass regularly and had her parish priest over to her house for special days. This was before she found out about her illness. Her whole parish was so helpful through the whole ordeal. My family was very grateful and she passed with all the love that God could bestow on anyone. I need to go, have a comfortable day!

My own son's death was so unexpected that we went from virtual normalcy to shock at the drop of a pin. We had our Christmas plans with the family all set. He was so happy and excited. He had graduated from Ohio State with a criminology degree and was set to become a Columbus, Ohio police officer. He really wanted to become a detective. He was hired and was under going physicals. He took his chest X-Ray on Nov. 5, 2010. He took a stress test on Nov.10, 2010. He stated that the stress test was the hardest test that he'd ever taken physically. He chest X-Rays were read on Nov.11, 2010 and he passed on Nov.17, 2010. Everything happen so fast! We had my son's funeral the day before Thanksgiving. Some day I'll be able to tell the rest of his story but at this time I can't speak about it.

Linda, take care and I'll say a little prayer for all of our love ones.

Linda,  Once you lose a child you will always show compassion to anyone else walking in the same shoes. I know that before you lose a child ... when confronting those that have, you can only state that " I don't know what you are going through .. but I can only imagine ". I found out that you really can't imagine. The mind will not allow you to go to that depth of pain and sorrow. It shuts down such thoughts because you DO NOT want to ever imagine.

This of course is St. Valentine's Day. My wife always made sure that our two boys knew that they were loved. She showered them with little gifts that had a true meaning for each of them. Now, my youngest son is coming home this Saturday for his belated gifts. He misses his older brother but he's keeping busy in school and coaching a middle school basketball team. I want to just throw a shield around him but we all know that it can not be that way. Once you lose one, you will always have that fear of losing another.

My wife can't really speak about it w/o " losing it ". I can bring little parts up but I do so cautiously. I want to talk with others....to share my feelings and hear how others that have lost, deal with differents aspects.

I see that you lost your wonderful angel through that nasty " C " word. I lost my older sister to cancer that started in her colon and spread to her lymph nodes. As the doctor stated, " the animals have gotten through the barn door ". She lived for 4 1/2 yrs before passing in 2004. After seeing my sister go through her ordeal, I thought that when my time's up, the quicker ...the better! One thing I really noticed about my sister was that the weaker she became physically, the stronger she became spiritually. She was my hero in not only the way she lived, but with the dignified way she faced death.

I need to close and open another because of our character limits.

Linda, I don't know if it's because he was a son. I had such a wonderful relationship with him that I hurt so bad. I love to communicate my feelings with those that know what a grieving parent is going through. Let's face it. Our friends were there for us at the very beginning but eventually they go on with their normal lives. This will never leave us. This is our normal. I love my friends but do you ever get a feeling that they may feel guilty because they still have their child(ren) and have a hard time communicating with you?

My wife and I went to dinner last evening. I was talking to her that my old friends at work are treating me with "kid gloves". They don't seem to know what to say and when I join a group of them I rarily get any kind of eye contact. They don't really know how to treat me. My wife is more like your husband. We can discuss some aspects but she doesn't want to delve too deeply because it opens old wounds. I think some grieving parents love to talk openly about there lost children and some aren't quite ready.

We had my son cremated. His ashes are in a beautiful oak box that also has an attached picture frame so that you can display it. If you didn't know that his ashes were behind the frame you'd think it was just a picture on display. Our plans are eventually to purchase an oak corner bookcase and display his picture, the American flag that was covering his coffin ( btw, it's also displayed in an oak display case), his college diploma, his numerous awards from the military and a beautiful shadow box that his unit made in his honor and was presented to me at the unit Christmas party in mid December. I have several other items that were very special to my son and I want to display.

My son, Ryan, was just a very good son. He loved going to family events and being around his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and even his parents. He had so many friends...was just a very likable guy. Best of luck to you family.

Linda,

I just read your story and am so sorry for your loss and for the pain of having to watch your daughter battle cancer.  I really feel for you, that is just too much for a parent to go through.

My daughter, Autumn, died on December 6, 2010.  I thought things would get better, but I guess since the shock wore off, things have gotten worse.

I do try to keep an upbeat attitude for my family, but some days are harder than others.  I grieve mostly when I'm alone, which is a lot.  I'm hoping over time that lessens. 

I know what you mean about missing your daughter so much.  I never imagined missing someone as much as I miss my daughter.  It's really confusing to me what to do with all the emotions I have inside. 

Thank you for requesting me as a friend, I hope you're having a peaceful day today.