Gerry Fiden's Comments

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At 8:07am on September 11, 2011, Leslie L. Fiorda said…

Hi Gerry...

   Just recieved your last message. I am the same way today at 4-1/2 years later. I think I wrote it in the letter to Jordan  when I said "I'm just getting used to it". I think that is all we do. I always used to say..."we won't get over, but we'll get through it". But I think getting through it, consists of dealing w/the pain. It isn't numb like the very begining...we FEEL all of it. We just slowly get used to it. The only time I feel really good, is when I am corresponding with you or someone else from this site. {which is very rare w/puter messed up}. Nobody else knows how I  feel; and the longer it has been. No one remembers, so like today Jordan's Birthday, it's kinda sad. But in a different way now.  I don't know if you understand what I am trying to say. Anyway...much love to you.          Leslie

P.S. WE DESEARVE EVERY BIT OF CREDIT WE CAN GET, so take yours.

With Love n Prayers!

At 8:07am on September 11, 2011, Leslie L. Fiorda said…

Hi Gerry...

   Just recieved your last message. I am the same way today at 4-1/2 years later. I think I wrote it in the letter to Jordan  when I said "I'm just getting used to it". I think that is all we do. I always used to say..."we won't get over, but we'll get through it". But I think getting through it, consists of dealing w/the pain. It isn't numb like the very begining...we FEEL all of it. We just slowly get used to it. The only time I feel really good, is when I am corresponding with you or someone else from this site. {which is very rare w/puter messed up}. Nobody else knows how I  feel; and the longer it has been. No one remembers, so like today Jordan's Birthday, it's kinda sad. But in a different way now.  I don't know if you understand what I am trying to say. Anyway...much love to you.          Leslie

P.S. WE DESEARVE EVERY BIT OF CREDIT WE CAN GET, so take yours.

With Love n Prayers!

At 7:29am on July 30, 2011, Leslie L. Fiorda said…

Dear Gerry,

   Thank you for your words, they seem to always make me feel better. Though I don't feel like I'm helping anyone...I feel like I'm just venting. But just knowing {as I felt in the begining} that I really wasn't going crazy, and that there were others that "really" knew how I was feeling; made all the difference.

You were by yourself too, sorry. It makes it that much harder on us. But I believe

You are doing really good Gerry... I know it may not feel like it; but to "know already" that EVENTUALLY you will forgive that man, is a good thing. I used to tell myself ..."I WAS going to be okay, I'm not there yet...but I will get there someday".  I felt I had to be ok, at least someday...or Jordan would be upset, and blame himself if I wasnt.

And you "want" to forgive him, because your son would want you to(it doesnt matter the reasons)...it is a goal. That may take time, but it's a goal. And as long as we are looking toward our goals, we're moving ahead. Do you know what I mean?

I do keep you in my prayers...God and I just had a long talk! {Smile} And you know Gerry, it's almost like when Jesus died on the cross...God really does know how you feel. May He  Bless you, and comfort you...Your Friend always Leslie

At 7:29am on July 30, 2011, Leslie L. Fiorda said…

Dear Gerry,

   Thank you for your words, they seem to always make me feel better. Though I don't feel like I'm helping anyone...I feel like I'm just venting. But just knowing {as I felt in the begining} that I really wasn't going crazy, and that there were others that "really" knew how I was feeling; made all the difference.

You were by yourself too, sorry. It makes it that much harder on us. But I believe

You are doing really good Gerry... I know it may not feel like it; but to "know already" that EVENTUALLY you will forgive that man, is a good thing. I used to tell myself ..."I WAS going to be okay, I'm not there yet...but I will get there someday".  I felt I had to be ok, at least someday...or Jordan would be upset, and blame himself if I wasnt.

And you "want" to forgive him, because your son would want you to(it doesnt matter the reasons)...it is a goal. That may take time, but it's a goal. And as long as we are looking toward our goals, we're moving ahead. Do you know what I mean?

I do keep you in my prayers...God and I just had a long talk! {Smile} And you know Gerry, it's almost like when Jesus died on the cross...God really does know how you feel. May He  Bless you, and comfort you...Your Friend always Leslie

At 9:53pm on February 22, 2011, Judy said…

Hi Gerry,

How is everything with you?  I don't go o the site too frequently anymore, but was compelled to look at it tonight and thought of you.  We are supposed to go to trial next week, but have my doubts that it will actually happen.  What's the status of your case?  I hope it's moving along faster than ours.  Write me when you have a chance.    Judy

At 9:53pm on February 22, 2011, Judy said…

Hi Gerry,

How is everything with you?  I don't go o the site too frequently anymore, but was compelled to look at it tonight and thought of you.  We are supposed to go to trial next week, but have my doubts that it will actually happen.  What's the status of your case?  I hope it's moving along faster than ours.  Write me when you have a chance.    Judy

At 11:37am on November 27, 2010, Cathy Pearly said…
Gerry...Did I tell you that Jake's accident was on a motorcycle as well?
At 7:34pm on November 22, 2010, Colleen Pasay said…
Gerry
Thank you for the heartfelt words and yes I believe these two would be talking bikes. He loved his bikes and the freedom they gave him. He was always the life of the party and so very loved and respected. We donated 6 vital organs so that he may live on thru others and he is buried with all young people surrounding him so I know he has company.As I sit here this evening with my candle for my son my heart knows no recourse than to ache with this heavy sadness.
Again my thanks and blessings
Colleen
At 10:35am on October 25, 2010, Judy said…
Hello my dear friend, Gerry. How are you doing these days? I tried to "friend" you last week and thought the attempt failed, but maybe you received it? I know the first anniversary of Ric's death was not too long ago, so I'm wondering how you're holding up. I think the second year has been harder for me in some respects. In some strange way, I'm still numb, can't believe this has happened; yet in other ways, I know it's real and I'm trying so hard to live on. I feel like I'm almost in some kind of tug of war with myself, not wanting to totally move on because in this new chapter of life Jack isn't physically a part of it. I know he's always with me in heart and spirit, but it's hard to create new memories without him here. I miss him so much and am helpless to change what's happened, and I feel sad, mad, confused and frustrated, sometimes all at once.
The driver of the car still awaits trial. It's scheduled for December 6, but have doubts as to whether it will go. The legal system is so very slow and it seems that a defendant with a half decent attorney is going to be able to take advantage of (more like exploit) every delay the system allows. It's wearing me down but our commonwealth attorney is still working hard. The driver in our case has been out of jail since 10 days after Jack was killed. Is the driver in your case still in jail or out of jail? I'm sorry this is dragging on for you; I thought it might go quicker since he's a repeat offender. I can't even begin to describe all of the emotions I feel when I think of this part of Jack's death. The lack of conscience on some people's part is something I'll never understand, and there are many who support the driver of the car believing the guy's story that he wasn't driving. Human nature is really hard for me to understand sometimes. I hope you don't mind me venting - it's been a tough morning for me. Take care, and write back soon. Judy
At 1:15pm on July 2, 2010, Cheryl Zuvlea said…
Thank you I will get the book and read it. You are right about Kathy feeling guilty she was with him when he died and gave him CPR all she said the day he died was what if she didn't do something right he might still be alive, we just kept telling her she did everything she could. Cheryl
At 10:23am on July 2, 2010, Cheryl Zuvlea said…
Hi Gerry,

I have suggested this site to her but she says she can't do it right now maybe later. She keeps telling me she wants to feel the pain and loss herself and at times will talk to us about him and other times she doesn't want to talk about it at all. Her husband Bob on the other hand wants to talk about him all the time he visits the grave site almost daily and talks to his son and cries.And the brother wont talk about it at all and gets upset if any of us do. So all of them are grieving so differently. I on the other hand look at pictures and have joined this site. I'm so sorry about your son I have lost my mom, friends and now my nephew but not a child and I know it is different than any pain someone can feel after all we as parents are suppose to die first not our children. God Bless you Gerry. Cheryl
At 9:37am on July 2, 2010, Cheryl Zuvlea said…
Thank you for your advice for my sister I love her and only want to help her anyway I can. I'm so sorry about your loss as well. I just have to hold one to know that we will see him again some day in heaven. God Bless you. Cheryl
At 11:02am on May 21, 2010, Jennifer said…
Thank you for your thoughts. Yes I'm from Buffalo and I lost my 11 year old daughter in a tragic car accident in August 2009. I was trying to get to her guest book and found the support section. It's tragic that so many have lost our children, yet some what comforting knowing that there are others who know what I am going though. We're approaching the 9 month mark and some days are easier than others. We miss her so much everyday. Our lives will never be the same!
At 6:02pm on May 17, 2010, Carrie L said…
Hi Gerry how are you doing ? not so good here. but to be expected I think a lot of people just move on but it is so stupid that this happened to our precious boys. I feel horrible. no relief...
At 10:49am on May 17, 2010, Leslie L. Fiorda said…
Thank you Gerry... I find myself thinking of you and others on this site so many times. And even though it's heartbeaking...it is one moment out of my sphere of sadness. Sometimes when I am with-drawn from the world, I think of you and I know there is someone out there that truely does know how I feel. Like you said, and I agree; we do feel better because of some one elses saddness, but it's because of that sadness we share we know were not alone. You are in my prayers and in my thoughts....Leslie
At 3:11pm on May 10, 2010, Judy said…
Hi Gerry,
It was so nice to see a message from you. There's nothing new really in our son's case, it continues to drag on. We're set for more pre-trial motions on Monday, 5/17 and beforehand will meet with the Commonwealth's Attorney and the two assistants on the case and our lawyer. Yes, we hired a lawyer who, most likely, will end up filing a civil suit on our behalf, and in the meantime he stays in the loop with the criminal trial and helps us to better understand what is going on. The young man driving the car absolutely does not want to take responsibility for what's happened; had he just admitted it from the beginning and shown remorse, he probably would have served the mandatory five days in jail and this horrendous part could've been over. We are left having to deal not only with Jack's death, but the anguish caused by this guy's behavior. It's heart wrenching.
Hope you are well. Write back and fill me in on the latest.
At 10:14am on May 9, 2010, Carrie L said…
god be with you gerry and our sons yep the trac phone is a cell phone. I am sad. sorry for us. and all these people. people are precious
At 8:28am on May 9, 2010, Carrie L said…
Hi Gerry maybe we could write in person. i will get you my trak phone so you can call and get your e mail. your son was closer to my age my son was a baby at almost 24 legacy is ok but ...... i don't like everyone reading about it. it is kind of too public. Carrie L
At 4:12pm on May 8, 2010, Carrie L said…
Hi Gerry I know he would want me to smile and he would also want another chance. He was such a fine spirit. made the family one and happy. he was always happy as a child. i wish i had done more with him i thought i had more time. your son is built like my son. your son was older. i thought mine was grown but i was wrong. he needed me more than anything. i bet yours was real responsible and didn't deserve anything. i wish i could talk to you. i am talking to a friend in fl and it is helping. though i am still early to this. i fear everything now cars etc!! carrie L
At 10:48am on May 8, 2010, Carrie L said…
Hi Gerry I am so sorry on the loss of your son I see like me you are needing some comfort somewhere and you are writing seeking it. I don't think there will ever be the comfort we are seeking because we want themin our lives they made us whole. I can see it is a journey I guess we all didn't see coming and now can't see how it ends. I feel lost. sad. needy. and a whole list of things. Just unfair. and untimely. I wish you love on mothers day. our sons love us. we love them. love to you Carrie L

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