Augie know this my sweet child, not even death can stop my love for you from growing. I love you more today than yeaterday and my my will keep going on and on until you reach out your hand to take me with and not even then will my love stop. I miss you doesn't. Begin to cover it. I love you snack pack!
Dear Kathryn, I am so sorry for the lost of your son. I do read everyones post everyday but I feel as the days move on it harder and harder for me to respond. Its been two years for me and I am not getting any better. I hope there are better days in front of us to get through this journey. I wish the best for you and your family. Hugs to you Donna Deanna Mom
I have work at the hospital for 9 years and my son died here 18 months ago. Its days like this I wonder why I came back after this atrocity of taking my son from me. I am by no means blaming my team I watched it all they went above and beyond for my son. Its just the room I touch the bed wonder is this the one? I still after all this time hear rumors, see the stares. I wish I could just hide in a cave until my time comes.
Oh Kathryn it is s wonderful when anyone we love visits us in a dream.
I was so happy that my son Joe visited me. When I told a person who was once upon a time in the seminary to be a priest he said that my son was letting me know he's alright. One time I asked Joe if he ever thinks of me. He had on a black shirt looking so handsome and was alive in my dream. Joe was on a chair at his desk and computer when he was turned half way and looked at me with his beautiful eyes and said "yeah." It was in the voice he would say it. I have never heard anyone speak in my dreams before. Grab onto the dream and cherish it. Your son loves you and is reaching out to you to feel good.
We can change our world by changing our thoughts. Our universe is ours alone. It's a choice to feel good or a choice to feel sad. It's a decision we make.
Days like today when although I have accepted my baby boy is gone I am hit like a ton of bricks with the realization he is'nt here. I don't want to live w/o him, I can't and I am so angry my child was taken. It is not the natural course of events. Augie had so much to give teach and learn in this world. I see no reason. I want to runaway but I know my pain will still be there. Augie told me in the waiting room " Mom I am going to die, and when(not if) I do know that no matter what I have said I love you more than anything." I said no your not Augie I love u to much and I don't accept that your all I have, and we're at my hospital now we r going to fix it. I lied to him! I just want him nothing else I am no one and have nothing w\o him.
I have quickly accepted both requests and I thankyou. I know I am surrounded by many that love me but I. Am alone in this pain. Except with my mother she lost two boys in infancy and now a 3rd son as we raised mine together. I will refrain from saying anything about his....father(sorry I choke on the word) because I try and remember he has lost a son to.
Kathryn, thank you for inviting me to be your friend. Your son Augie has a beautiful face and is a real macho guy. Just like my son Joe. My allergist who had treated my Joe at one time said that he would never get any older. Why who says so. To me every year as long as I am around he will have a birthday. His friends all turning his age this year. Although I don't see him physically I believe there are other dimensions right here on earth even next to us. It's a very difficult thing to understand but it is as much fact as many other things we are asked and told to believe. It helps me to feel better and that is all that matters.
I just baked a caked and it will be coming out of the oven soon. I made a recipe from the computer. It's a lemon yogurt bundt cake taken from the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." I was counting the teaspoons of baking powder and hope I counted 4 correctly. The recipe calls for 4 cups of flour and it is going to be awesome with the raspberry and French vanilla ice cream I'll be bringing. I just hope lots of members, and potential members arrive. I'd invite you to come if you lived in NJ. This is what helps me to keep on keeping on my garden club and some other things. I kept doing what I did immediately. Sometimes it's difficult but it passes. I feel that my Joe is happy knowing that I am continuing to do what I did before he went into another dimension. I don't want to be a wimp as he would think of me if I pulled back. Your son Augie looks like the kind of guy that would think and say the same.
I can see my Tim rocking to Wayward son when the tempo picks up and the percussion hits and reverbs through the car. I can see his hands tapping his thighs to the beat. Sorry I am having a very rough night right now. Just got home from buying a few things for my girls for Valentines Day and I found a Spider-Man heart shaped box of chocolates I will be bringing to Timmy next week.
I feel everyday that I lost everything...but then I look at my daughters and know I haven't. They are needed in my life, and I am needed in theirs. I know I lost a big part of my life and among the most important. I don't know what keeps me hanging on - perhaps my daughters - perhaps I believe that Tim is telling me to carry on. He loved Kansas' song. Maybe that is the message he sends that there will be peace when I am done.
I would be Honored to be your friend. I am so glad you have found all of us on this site any questions that you want answered, a kind word, even a cyber hug we are all here to listen I am so very sorry for your loss. I can feel for you as I lost the second most important man in my life 5 months ago my Dad and yesterday was his birthday. The loss of my son has been 18 months and the loss has shattered my world. Somehow like us you will find the strength and the courage that lies inside of all of us. We have both known the innocence of a childs eyes and the beauty of an ageing hand. We have been blessed with these things we call memories... hold them strong and lovingly deep inside and reach for them any time you need the strength .
Dear Kathryn, I am sorry that you had to find our site, but glad that you did, you will find many helpful people here, we are all here to support eachother, feel free to express anything that is on your mind be it anger, grief, laughter, anything, ask questions, give advice if you think it will help somebody else, we all hold you in a virtual hug. Praying for you, your Dad and sweet Augustine.
I too am sorry you are here but take support from all of us who KNOW how you feel and what you are going through. My daughter lost her only child 1 year ago on February 8th, 2011 and is so devastated she still allows herself support from no one. Tell your mother, I know how she feels ---- Gavin's Grandma Ilona