Just going through a tough stratch both medically (on FMLA so I can stay home when I need to) due to chronic headaches & migraines. I started having them at age 13 when I had my first petit mal seizure. Had them ever since but more than migraines I get cluster headaches so I have to take some drugs that pretty much waste me.
I just went to a Neuro Headache specialist and she gave me some preventatives which have lessened the frequency but not the magnitude so I have been out of work a lot. After that I went to a Neuro Psychiatrist (I didn't even know there was such a specialist) and she gave me an Rx for a new anti-depressant and a 4 day schedule to switch. All was fine and I got to the last day only to find out that BCBS is wanting all kinds of info from the Dr. and I checked today and it still hadn't been approved at CVS so it feels like I've got electricity going through me and I was starting to have more (intense) "moments" so I just started taking the old AD again.
Dear Fred: I apologize for responding so late. I just got this message today. I'm not good at navigating this site. I'm sorry you had a seizure and I hope you're better. I hope your grieving is bearable as well. As with this Memorial Day, I hope the rememberance of your loved one is a lovely one and that you will spend the day with those you love and who support you. Joan
I love the smell of good fragrant roses. I love cats as well and we used to have some at our old house but had to leave them with the new owners (our neighbors across the street. They love cats too) since we moved into a very large apartment for a while so we could look for a bigger house.
I think we are almost in lock-step with each other as this has been a wierd week for me too. My reclusiveness has gotten the better of me, I'm sure it'll pass.
Hi Fred, Thank you for your kind words and what a lovely thing your doing to honor Roses memory, and yes my roses are beautifull and fregrent, only if I could keep he cats away from them , they want to streal the babys breath and pluck the petals lol can't have a thing for these brats.I'm real glad you got your yard taken care of,I have a new guy he only wanted 20 and i have a hugh yard but he has a little tractor and just wanting something to do so I gave him 30 well need to go cat has messed up the tv lol always something have a blessed day Virginia
I ramble a lot and the part about my lawn get so high. Well I have never let anybody do my lawn except myself but today there was a team doing the next door neighbors so I went outside and asked him how much to do my front yard. He told me $25 but even though my lawn is small I gave hime $35 because that was just not enough for them. I sure am glad that is out of the way and they did a very good job.
Hi Fred thank you for your kind words sorry it took so long to answer. This week has been a very bad one. My husband also had seisures not what you have but he had them when he was a baby then out grew them only for them to come back later in life the dr. said this was not unuseall this is what happened the morning he passed we were out on the porch looking at the beautifull flowering trees and his roses he came in to do a breathing treatment as he had emphysema i was getting our med list updated for our vac. to his moms in vegas he said he wanted to lay down so i came in to the computer sat down looked in the living room where he was and he was having a seizure i called 911 went in and tried to talk to him most times i could keep him from loosing concesness by doine that then all of a sudded he quit breathing i started c p r the best i could called 911 back it took so long to get him back almost 30 min. why they tried that long is beside me and it didn't happen till they got him to the hosp. then they flew him to a trama center on full life support he never wanted that we talked about it i told him if it ment giving him a chance at living i would do it but not as a way of life after 3 days the dr. said he wouldn't last another 3 days so i decided to shut it down after talking to his mom she didn't want to see him like that telling him it was ok to let go,it killed me but i knew i must today is our 17 th wedding ann. we also were together 32 yrs. thanks again for writing me virginia
I was thinking about you and praying for you today.. I understand stand your pain and how you love and miss your wife.. I miss my husband of 44 years too.. I think I could cry every day until I see him again.. I'm sure you feel the same about Rose. Thats kind of the point too tho Fred - we will see them again one day and what a glorious day that will be.. We will be in perfect paradise - perfect peace, joy and happiness with them.. We are just passing through here - we aren't home yet.. Rose is Home :) She just made it Home before you and she'll be right there to greet you when it's your time to go Home too :) No more struggling, sickness and pain and fears for her. She is now perfect :) We serve an awesome Lord and Savior Fred and Hes right there with you.. Lean on Him, trust Him, talk to Him, worship and praise Him and you will be ok.. Yes we will always love and miss these special spouses that the Lord blessed us with for the many years and we will still shed our tears but - be at peace and know that God has it all under control. Rose would want you to take care of yourself now. I guess little by little it gets better. Maybe better because we can have peace and rest knowing they are in heaven and that peace just to know beyond a shadow of a doubt - that we will spend ETERNITY with them. The years we had here with them were moments compared to forever/eternity :) Maybe it's time you can take all the medical equipment down just because Rose will never need it again :) Something you might want to do Fred.. Thank you Lord for giving Rose the ultimate healing \o/
How nice of you to donate to charities Fred. I have been working on little Christmas boxes for little children and I find this very rewarding.. It's also a way of giving to the Lord.. It's through "Samaritans Purse" and there are drop off pionts is all areas of our country. Samaritans Purse is through Franklin Graham - that Billy Grahams son. I'll leave you the link in case you would like to check it out.. http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/Home/index_Aug09_EE_IE6/ Their outreach does so much for so many hurting people world wide. Once you get there click on "Operation Christmas Child" Thats who i'm filling these little shoe boxes for..
Thank you for sharing the news about the research.. How awesome that they are coming close to a cure.. Praise the Lord \o/
God bless you Fred and be at peace.. Don't feel guilty thinking you were Roses caregiver. You did what you were suppose to do for those last 5 years and even more.. It was Roses time to go Home Fred. God picked that day to give Rose that wonderful and ultimate healing and her Home in heaven :) It was her day :)
Hi Fred, I've just past the one yr. ann. of my husbands passing in april.We also were together 32 yrs. He was sick for 10 yrs. with emphysema.We were best friends and soul mates,I don't think I'll ever get over him and like you I have no desire to go out ,only when I have to.He use to tell me all the time that I was his best friend and he was so gratefull for all I done for him,I would do it all again ,no regrets. I'm so gratefull we talked about everything and lived life the way we wanted while we were both healthy enough to enjoy it, you do what is right for you. we all grieve in our own way,My life is one day at a time ,it's all we can do. God bless and be with us all. Virginia
hi fred, i understand how you feel, i lost my husband of 32 years 2 years ago and i still am grieving. i too have become much more religious within this past year, it is what keeps me centered. i tried to bring my husband back through cpr also and the emts told me he had died about 3 hours prior. the hardest thing i feel, in life, is to loose a life partner. i have never felt this miserable for so long in my life. i was off on fmla for about 3 months after he passed, my work was also sympathetic at first. now i think they think im faking it, which i am not. but i think ive gotten to a point (with the assistance of my therapist) where i really dont care what they think. there are so many emotions we go through in this process. there are times i would like to crawl into a corner and just stay there. i am very much the recluse. but i do have my pet friend who has seen me through all this and witnessed my husbands passing, i try to take him for a walk every day and he gets to lead the way. i dont think i could function very well without my dog. im having a hard enough time now. tomorrow is mothers day and i have been weeping for 2 days. i never know when a moment of rememberance is going to hit me, lately they have been devastating. i cant imagine another year like this, but life goes on and we have made it through this hurdle. i am so sorry for your loss and will pray for peace to you and your family.
My heart goes out to you. I see such great love you have for your wife and I feel your pain and depression... Don't feel guilty in any way tho Fred. It was her time to go to paradise.. I left the house for a short time but when I returned my husband was gone.. I didn't expect this. I just didn't think it would happen yet but it did.. It was the day and the hour that our Lord called our beloved spouses home.. Now she is free from pain and what ever illness she was battling Fred.. Shes home. I always say we are just passing through here - we're not home yet.. My husband passed in his sleep too Fred.. What a gracious way to enter heaven.. Be at peace and know that one day you will be with her forever more in perfect paradise. Her presence is with you and don't worry about the flowers :) You were there when she needed you. Set yourself free from feeling guilty about anything.. You have done a good job. You have been a great caregiver and husband to her. Take care of yourself now Fred.. This is what your wife would want. Buy and eat things that you enjoy. Take walks in the sunshine, visit a zoo and be in touch with your children, friends and other family members.. That will be healthier than for you to be alone all the time.. God bless you Fred and be at peace..
Dear Fred: I am so sorry for your illness. I know that can be so debilitating. It seems to me that you are a born caregiver, ready and willing to be there for anyone who is in stress and has a problem. I'm like that too. It's something that comes natural to me and I think you're that way as well. Please continue to seek help with your medical problems. The problem people like have is not being able to adequately take care of ourselves as we do our loved ones. And it's a character thing we have, not a flaw, but a perfect gift to give wholly to one we love. Do not despair; work on what you can work on and you will get through it. God bless you. Joan
Dear Fred: I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband in January after his 11 months of illness. We only had two years together and didn't spend as much time together as you and your wife did. But I believe the love and loss transcends all time and space, and it's the same for me as it is for you. My only thought is if you are still spiritual I would urge you to seek a bevearement group to go and speak about your loss to those who have lost as you have. Then I would urge you to join a church or your place of worship and get involved in knowing that Christ is weeping with you when you weep and He knows what you are going through. It's a times like this that in our weakness, He is strong, because we have nothing else to turn to. We need His strength to get us through our suffering, as He went through His suffering. At a time like this, I believe you need spiritual friends to comfort you. It's not good after three years to be a recluse. Your wife would want you to choose life. She wouldn't want you to grieve so bad that you would not life your life. Maybe it is post traumatic syndrome and someone suggested. Then get help for yourself from a trusted friend, counselor or church. It will comfort you. I hope you are able to find your way. Ask God to show you. And remember he cries with you. Joan