Dianne's Comments

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At 9:27pm on January 23, 2011, Shari Soklow said…: http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/howardsmemorialwebsites/homepage.aspx

Please go see what I have created and tell me what you think of it?

Thank you Dianne, You are a Sweetheart, for those kind words!

I am happy to be friends with you if

it is OK with you?

Shari

At 8:25pm on January 23, 2011, Cynthia Clements said…: Thank you so much Dianne for the kind words. I appreciate the time you took to write me. I know the only way I will get through this is with God and my family's help. And believe me I am leaning on them. I pray you have peace also and I am sorry about you Mother. Again thank you for the kind words.

Cynthia

At 8:35pm on January 22, 2011, Irene J Brown said…: Thanks for the advice. The problem is that I was building a memorial site, but when I clicked on the button to do my Dad's biography it sent me to the part where you view the site. Now I don't know how to get back to where I can finish the memorial I started.

At 7:57am on January 21, 2011, Cathe Crowe said…: Hi Dianne

I stumbled onto the site and glad I did. My story is similar to yours. Lost my father 13 years ago as the oldest daughter of a father that took very, very good care of my mother. Mother was devasted by hsi loss...so much for her to learn! (she didn't know where to put gas in the car!!) Lost her this last year. I struggle everyday with my losses. Information here is helpful. The support group should help to get feelings out that I tend to bury.

At 7:57am on January 21, 2011, Cathe Crowe said…: Hi Dianne

I stumbled onto the site and glad I did. My story is similar to yours. Lost my father 13 years ago as the oldest daughter of a father that took very, very good care of my mother. Mother was devasted by hsi loss...so much for her to learn! (she didn't know where to put gas in the car!!) Lost her this last year. I struggle everyday with my losses. Information here is helpful. The support group should help to get feelings out that I tend to bury.

At 8:58pm on January 20, 2011, Anne Bowe said…: Hi Dianne - what a bright spot you were in my day - we all still need to hear that very often no matter how long it has been = only another mother could understand. God bless!

At 11:52am on January 18, 2011, Kim Arthur said…: Hi Dianne, So glad you friended me. That was very nice of you. Hope we can talk soon. This was just by pure chance that I found this support group, and couldnt come at a better time in my life. I struggle everyday with my loses, and its very nice to know, that we have support now.. again, Thank you.....and God Bless....Your New Friend....Kim...

Do you have facebook? Wud love to share our worlds.. I will be checking my emails....You can also direct mail me at golden.rayz@yahoo.com.------- take care dear...

At 11:52am on January 18, 2011, Kim Arthur said…: Hi Dianne, So glad you friended me. That was very nice of you. Hope we can talk soon. This was just by pure chance that I found this support group, and couldnt come at a better time in my life. I struggle everyday with my loses, and its very nice to know, that we have support now.. again, Thank you.....and God Bless....Your New Friend....Kim...

Do you have facebook? Wud love to share our worlds.. I will be checking my emails....You can also direct mail me at golden.rayz@yahoo.com.------- take care dear...

At 2:02pm on January 15, 2011, Antonia Kambeitz said…: Hello Diane-Thank you for "friending" me. I hope we can be of some comfort to one another-I live in Sonoma County, so we're not so far away.Since last March, I lost my second "Mom", my beloved pet, my best friend, another close friend, and my mentor/friend team leader at work.(I volunteer at the Fire Dept.) I feel like a duck in a shooting gallery at the carnival-back and forth, contantly being bombarded. I'm a retired Social Worker, but that does not help me in my sorrow.I haven't had the time to recover from one loss when I'm hit with another. All I want to do is sleep, and I've gained 40 lbs.

At 11:34am on January 15, 2011, Carolyn Levin said…: Hello Diane,

Thank you for accepting me as your friend, I am so grateful to have found this website..My husband passed on may 18, 2009 of 48 years to Kidney Failure. my husband always stated that he wanted to renew our vows on our 50th.Anniv.Since I have posted I have heard from other widows that are struggling with the loss of their spouses around the same time. in the last 18 months I have lost my Husband, lost our home from foreclosure, moved out of state to be with my daughters for awhile and within the last five years lost 2 sisters. I am blessed with 3 children 3 granchildren, family and friends that are very supportive but I felt the need to reach out to others that have lost spouses. At the present I am living with my 2 adult daughters, who live in another state, they see me very sad and try to think of things to do to keep my mind focused on other things. I got through the first year Birthday, Anniv. Holidays, but I feel like I am going backwards in my grief. I cry at even the mention of my husbands name, or a favotite memory. I will write more later, I am new to this.. Thank you again for contacting me Hugs

At 10:51am on December 21, 2010, Carrie L said…: Diane I read some of your writing about letting go it really touched me. I know for us to go on Happy so to speak we have to come to some sort of place other than the sadness and loss and mourning and wishing and wanting. You seem like a real neat lady keep up the spirit.. carrie L

At 9:35am on October 31, 2010, Vicki said…: Dearest Dianne,thank you for the kind words,i am so sorry you had to witness your Dad killing himself.i know i didn't shoot Ben physically,but still have the guilt,that i added to his sad,heavy,heart.i know with counselling,friends,family,and God i will be able to live a productive life thanks again....vicki

At 11:57am on July 5, 2010, Dianne said…: Hey Trish. How are you doing today? It's good that you are talking about what happened. Grieving takes time in its own way to pass. As time goes on you will heal. Our healing process is in the Lord's hands if we give it over to Him. I lost both my mother and father, but my mother was the hardest to get over because being older now, my adult emotions were more serious to me. I did not want to hurt, cry, or be angry. I just wanted to wake up each morning and everything would be okay. I wanted to wake up and know that I could go to work and be normal and not have to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and weep. I would go to her gravesite every weekend for 5 years and it was draining me emotionally. I would be so tired after crying and hollering in the graveyard. But it was one day I realized that I could not continue this wear and tear on my body any longer. I realized that if I was going to heal I was going to have to stop the emotions and leave my mother where she was--in her grave. I could not bring her back. I had to stop dying every weekend and start living. So it was that one Saturday at the site I told God I was going to leave my mother mentally where she is and spiritually I would have her in my heart. I have not been back to her site and it has been six years. And it was after that moment, I began to heal mentally and spiritually. I can now watch Hallmark Mother's Day movies each year and feel good about watching them. I will go back to her site next year and put flowers because I know I can go back with a mature mind and a more loving heart that is healed. As for you, it will take time. The songs, the 4th of July holidays will get better. They are still fresh. You are not depressed when you hear songs or a certain date comes or something you remember. It is what I will call greiving. If you can still love and still be that happy person that you are, hold on to that and don't give in. Be sad only for that moment and then go and do something happy if it's nothing more than starting a garden, take a walk, look in the shopping windows, get an ice cream cone. When the sadness comes at that moment, begin to write. Keep a journal and write how you are feeling that day. If anger comes up express it in your writing; if sadness comes up, express it in your writing. If something funny comes up that you remember about the relationship write it down. Your are loved by people and your children and grandchildren. Live for them and most of all you are loved by you. Take care and we will talk again. God loves you.

At 8:01am on July 5, 2010, Trish said…: Hi Dianne, hope you are well this morning. The man I mentioned was someone I meet when I lived in Va.. I was there for about 7 yrs. I lived in Navy housing for that time. We met about 13-14 yrs. ago. He was kind, funny, very loveable. I was in a relationship w/ someone who has abused me mentally for yrs. I know for sure that God brought this man into my life for a reason. I relocated to Fl. but my daugther and family live in his same state Va.. I went to see my daugth... , son-in-law and grandkids. I saw him for about 5 days straight one 4th of July weekend. He acted strange. That is when I told him after yrs. of him wanting me and my son to come live w/ him, I was going to come up to live up there and stop the abuse. When I got home I continued to call him he did not return my calls then one day his # was changed. It was painful, then one night he called in Feb. and that is when we talked and he said Trish, I love you. Well I know that he avoided all those months because he didnt want me to be hurt or even stop him .
Well I have 4 grandkids , 2 in south Fl. and 2 in Va. who I love and a 17yr. old son. They are my life. I live everyday and I am a happy person who now gets depressed everynow and then when a certain date, song,dream that reminds me of him.
I know we will be together in my afterlife only that will not come anytime soon , so I live for my kids and grandkids and take care of my self in the best way I know how.

Ty for being there Dianne.

At 8:29pm on July 4, 2010, Trish said…: Hello Dianne, about 4 yrs. ago was the last time we saw each other. I went up to see family from Fl. to Va.. for the 4th of July weekend. I saw him everyday for a wk.. When I left after knowing him 6 yrs. I had the weirdest feeling, I told him I was going to come back and wanted to re-start my life up there to be close to him. Well, the last night I saw him I cried and cried. I now no that I must have know that was goin to be the last time I was goin to see him.

He wouldn't take my calls for months and the following Feb. he called me out of the blue. I was sooo happy. While we were talking he just came out and said I love You. I'll never forget that my response was : You're so funny. I was so scared that what had made him stop calling was because I had told him I loved him back in July.

Well, I found out that coming July that he had taken his life in March , a month after we spoke last. He had a medical condition , kidney failure that even his closet friends new of.
He had called me to say goodbye, I should have known. he had mentioned that he was going to come down to live in Fl. real soon. He had a son whom he loved that lived with his mom and stepdad. Well he didn't go to treatment and his body was found 3 days later in his apt..
Do you know that earlier I was on this site and read of parents losing a child . I have a 17yr. old son. If something would happen to him that would kill me. It made my own situation sound so petty.
As for you seeing your dad take his life especially at 15 yrs of age must have been so very difficult. I am in my 40's and do remember being that age. I do feel for you. I am so happy that I came across this site. I thank you for being there for me. and others.