Thank you for your kind words and you are right everyone here is so supportive and do not judge how you feel or how you grieve. I ask of you to please hang on to see what life holds for you. I too am not afraid of dying and I haven't been afraid for a long time, but honestly I should of died many times she. I look back at things in my life. I kept asking The Lord, why do you keep saving me? I was raped and cut open she I was 14 and thrown in a ditch left for dead and found and saved. I shot myself in 2004 and everything went wrong in my eyes, but everything right in The Lord's eyes. I picked the biggest gun 357 and aimed at my heart, it had such a kick that it jumped and the bullet went through my arm instead. I couldn't understand why I was left here to suffer (I thought) , but it gave me 14 more years with my beloved husband. I beg of hou to fight, cause we truly do not know what is in store for us. You are a comfort to me and I know you are tk others here also..Much love and a big bear hug, Patty
Oh Chris, Please don't do this. Even I believe there has to be something better for us. I see myself in your heartache. sometimes I am so helpless in my own world of hurt I think that I can't possibly be of help to anyone else. But I have to; it is the mandate of every caring human being. Please wait this out a little longer. My baby sisters name was Chris. I raised her from infancy as our father was physically abusive and beat up my mother and us every night. She too did not see any reason to continue and so did not take care of herself. She died more than 2 years ago, leaving huge holes in all of our hearts. It was a tragic unfinished life that I do not want to see in my commitment as a friend to you. She was only 53. Please wait it out a little longer. maybe we will both look back on this and know what the purpose of our suffering was. I couldn't go to bed tonight knowing of your unbearable pain and not try to comfort you. Let me be your bridge over troubled waters.
Love and Hugs,
I read your message. It broke my heart as I am in the same place. I'm 67 and don't feel I have 2 minutes more, let alone years. My well-meaning family and friends have said all the words that, for all practical purposes, feel like just more crap. It might be OK, and even normal to be cynical in this stage of our grief - after all, how can anyone understand.?
I have pills too, and even a stash, but not for a plan to end my life; I believe that it will come naturally of a broken heart. Still, I want you to hang on. Like what a therapist asked me many years ago " Don't you want to at least see how this (my life) all plays out?" I didn't have an answer, I couldn't have - the now was too critical for any kind of reflection, any luxury of time that everyone else seemed to have. Be my friend in this, Christine; we will try together. OK?