Craig, I don't know much at all about this - our son took his life six weeks ago. I cry everyday, I don't understand, I too think I should have been able to help Michael, or stop him, or something. I am trying to read what I can about depression. I didn't know our son was so ill and lost - he kept it hidden so well from everyone. I am meeting with a grief counselor now. She told me that Michael did not want to die. Something just snaps in the brain, depression can be like a heart attack, like cancer - sometimes it kills. On days like today, I don't know how to go on myself. I cling to my husband and we have other children. I feel like I am cheating them with my sorrow for their brother. Sometimes I do laugh or smile and I know it feels like a betrayal; it feels wrong, but I also know Michael wants me to laugh and smile - he would - he did not - ever want to hurt us like this - it wasn't him. Others tell me it will take a long time for this pain to ease and it will never go away - but hug your wife and child closely - you aren't feeling less for your friend in doing so. Your heart has to heal too. Keep reading here - it helps.