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Deb's Blog

I feel isolated

Posted on October 12, 2012 at 5:29pm 1 Comment

I lost my father, Donald, on June 12, 2012. His kidneys were failing, and they inserted peritoneal port into his abdomen to prepare him for dialysis. Unfortunately, it port became infected and he had a raging internal infection. The hospital released him even though he was still suffering from high fevers. He died one day later in his living room. Daddy was 86 years old. He had been extremely Independent his entire life, so we were blessed in that way. Of course, as usual, there were legalities… Continue

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At 9:49am on October 13, 2012, Krystal said…

I really do understand because I am in a very similar situation. My mother left me an insurance policy and nothing to anyone else except a little money to my father. I gave up my life to first take of my grandparents, then my sisters children, and most recently my mother, but I am often accused of being a gold digger. I would give every penny back if I could have my mother, but not everyone understands how I feel. My oldest sister had very little contact with my mother and father for the past several years even though she was warned about my father's Alzheimer. My mother's sisters never saw or called her, even though I admit one was very helpful at the end, I have very little use for them. I spent several years cutting ties with people who drag me down, unfortunately death brings them out of the woodwork. I even had a cousin who spent my mother's dying day at a cheer leading competition (she's an adult) and then had the nerve to post on Facebook how upset she was and gave herself a week long pity party online. She had not seen my mother in years. These are the people I avoided and when you need them the least they always pop up.  When people act in this manner, I understand completely what you mean by it feels easier to talk to a stranger. I look at it this way, that type of person needs someone to blame because they can't deal with guilt. Whatever they say or do is only true of themselves. Don't let them continue to hurt them the way they did your father. As tribute to your father, give him the best gift a child can give a parent...the satisfaction of a job well done. Live your life the way your father would want you to, it is what I am striving to do for my mother. He wouldn't want you to be unhappy. It isn't easy and there will be hard times, but during those times lean on people you can count on and trust.


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