Janet
its been 7 months since my mother passed i was not with her at the time i was sick in bed with 103 fever
my brother and sister were with her but she lived with me and i cared for her 24/7 she had lots of problems--my brother called me to ask me what i wanted to do if i wanted to turn off the machines they said things would be quiet and she would be a few days before the end--so i told them we had no choice turn off the machines--at that point i got up and started to get dressed to be with her the phone rang and it was my brother he said she passed it took 10 min i was alone and i just started to scream i feel things do get better but it takes a long time
i lost my partner 4 years ago to a heart attack in my arms --i don't know the way it hurts less fast or watching them go
god bless you it will get better
Wayne