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6 months is really bad

I thought I had things pretty much in control,but lately,I feel like I'm regressing and feeling sadder and less in control.I have a lot of stuff to do what with taxes and financial stuff that my husaband always took care of.

I feel his loss much more in the last month or so,and I don't know why I'm taking such a step backwards.I am starting a Grief Counceling group on Monday and if I make it through this weekend,that may help.I know I'll be ok,but sometimes it is really overwhelming and I still can't get my head around his death and how incredably fast it was.it will always be somewhat of a mystery since TTP is so rare,and there were no indications that anything was wrong until 12 hours after we went to the hospital,he was dead.

I will try to have a good weekend.I am going food shopping and having a few of my Theatre friends over tomorrow night for Academy Awards.

I haven't seen any of the films nominated,but still fun to watch.

Have a good weekend,everyone :}

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At 9:05pm on March 23, 2011, Christy said…: Hello Jo,

I hope your grief counseling is working well for you. I know things can change from moment to moment, from o.k. I can handle this, to tears & heartbreak all over again. Wishing you more good moments each passing day~ Christy

At 9:05pm on March 23, 2011, Christy said…: Hello Jo,

I hope your grief counseling is working well for you. I know things can change from moment to moment, from o.k. I can handle this, to tears & heartbreak all over again. Wishing you more good moments each passing day~ Christy

At 10:31am on January 13, 2011, Christy said…: Yes, I got that & sent out a group wide e-mail alert to warn others, but I guess it didn't help. There are more just like it under different names. Anyway, I just read your New Year's Resolution. Please share your HONEST opinion of how that is working for you sometime within the next month. I know not sharing your hurt is a part of the resolution but I ask you delibertly put that aside this once if it is still significant. I ask because I too worked with my husband & for some reason being here is alot harder on me than being at our home. My work performance has blown to pieces. I wish I could quit & move on but it's just not possible. I have been really been trying my best to let God have all my anxiety & fears and last week was the best I've experienced in the past 4 months. I really see how He is blessing me. It's HUGE & yet, I still have a difficult time letting Him take control. Crazy. I wish you the BEST & look forward to hearing more uplifting news from you soon.

At 9:26am on December 19, 2010, Elizabeth Nonnemacher said…: Yes Jo just received this morning? I did ignore it, if this is scam (which it appears that it is) How dare they? Isn't anything sacred???

At 2:45pm on December 18, 2010, Ellen Brant said…: Yes, Jo, I to have had these. Ignored them and reported it to legacy. About all we can do.

At 6:39pm on November 28, 2010, Audrey said…: Jo, I also think sometimes this site is only depression and sadness. So I go days without checking it. I am also reading a lot of books about grief and really recommend Widow by Dr. Joyce Brothers. For some reason I thought that a physcologist would have special insight into dealing with the loss of her husband. I was almost relieved to learn that she struggled with all the same things that we all post. Then I went and found a Dr to talk to. I can afford it and think I better now to avoid more depression issues for myself and my 21 year old son as he agreed to try it if I would.
What I tell myself is that the people on this site probably don't log on when having a good time....minute, hour or day. It's when the house is quiet and the dark thoughts creep in that we turn to the others in the same dreaded boat with us.
I did my very best to pretend that Thanksgiving was a good day as my son had invited several of his friends that couldn't go home to family. Darn retail hours anyway. We pretended to be thankful that Roger wasn't in pain anymore and that we had people to share the day with.
So now the house is too quiet, the food is all gone and I am trying not to think about the work week ahead. So today I have some extra strength that I can loan to you. Hope that someday I can come to you to get it back as I know that all too soon I will be having another dark day. A

At 9:15am on November 18, 2010, Kathy King Kates said…: Jo, I think we all feel the depression and think the sad stories here are hard to read but at the same time they remind us that we aren't crazy feeling the things we do because someone here has the same situation and most very similar. You are actually still in the roller coaster part of this journey and will be very up and down. Please don't leave because you will find help. Know that if you read more and more you will find happy stories coming out too. We are trying to get thru each day, good or bad, the best we can. Have a wonderful day. Hugs

At 9:47am on November 17, 2010, kathy obiedzinski said…: jo: i am sorry you feel the way you do. i know and i understand we must be strong but some of us can handle it better than others i was married 35 years george was not sick before this happened to him i this website makes you feel uncomfortable do not read the comments people make on it. i am here for 20 months and this site helped me thru my sadness. i do not sit around and feel sorry for myself i have a life i do not crawl up in a ball i go to work everyday and come home to a empty house which used to be both of us. please do not take it the wrong way but as i said i had to vent out and that is what i did.

At 3:32pm on November 8, 2010, Kathy King Kates said…: I hope the Memorial Celebration went well today. It is so sweet to be reminded again how much your dear one was loved by others. I live in a small community that took good care of me in the weeks after Bill passed and even still many call and check on me. Good thoughts for you today.

At 10:24am on October 25, 2010, Kathy King Kates said…: The good days do come and knowing its okay is the struggle but I know my Bill is such a happy funloving person that it always upset him to see me sad or upset so those thoughts push me forward. It's 8 months today and I tell myself not to dwell on that but its still hard not to. I spent this past weekend in Iowa with my new son-in-laws family and had lots of fun stuff going on with all the kids and stuff. Helped keep me out of myself for a good while. Today I am relaxing and remembering the good times.