Julie H
  • Female
  • Fraser Valley
  • Canada
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At 12:33am on December 18, 2012, Elizabeth said…
Hi Julie,
Yes. I have found writing letters to my Dad has been really helpful. I have never journaled in my life. It wasn't something I found productive for me until my father died. So it was very new to me. But it has been so helpful. Its really put my feelings into perspective for me so that I can make sense of them. The fact that he will not read them and (unless I choose) no one else will either makes it easy to express my true un-edited feelings. I cry almost the entire time I am writing each of them. But I feel that may be another reason its been so helpful. It is a time where I feel ok to be completely open and honest. I also "talk" to my Dad throughout the day. No I do not believe he hears me. Its just another method that I am using to cope. We all need to find what works for us.

I am also having a really hard time this month. I have cried everyday. Something makes me think of him everyday. I think thats going to be something to deal with for quite some time. I keep trying to think that my dad would want me to be happy and celebrate and enjoy christmas. Even though that thought makes me cry too. I try to just let my feelings out as much as i can (in the appropriate settings) because when I dont i tend to be irritable. Thus the letters and "talking" to my dad.

Hope you find what helps you. Some articles on the site here are good for christmas and what to do to help also.
At 11:02pm on December 7, 2012, Tracy Dingwall said…

Julie, I do understand.  When you have someone like our fathers who impact our lives so much, the hole is that much larger.  My dad and I spoke almost everyday on the phone after my mom passed, and I feel like he was the only person who ever really listened to me.  His laughter and love have left a huge gap, and every day I feel alone although I am surrounded by wonderful family and friends.  Right now it just not seem to be enough....everywhere  turn there is a memory - in the christmas cards I write, in the shopping, in the decorating, in knowing that he will never be there for Christmas again.  It is painful and I know time will heal, but right now it just doesn't seem like it will ever get better.  My heart goes out to you because I do feel your pain.  Hugs and may warm memories help you through this difficult time. 


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