Sorry for your loss Kathy, I am also going thru the firsts of holidays, anniversary, & birthday coming up, I lost my husband on Feb 9th of this year, diagnosed colon cancer stage 4, given 2 years of life on January 14th & did not even make it one month, he died of cardiac arrest 2 days after he got home from rehab, I feel your pain, went thru Valentine's day only 5 days after his death, went thru what would have been our 34th wedding anniversary on October 26th, my youngest son's wedding in July, Christmas & next month both our birthdays, glad you found us, we all understand each other here because we have all experienced the death of our soulmates, for me, crying helps because I feel heavy sadness in my heart & it alleviates it somewhat, but I haven't stopped crying since that dreadful day, take it one step at a time, grief is on your terms, not anybody else's, we are all here to lend an ear, hope you can find some comfort here, I sure have.

Hugs to you,

Elvira