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Keltie Kimball
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- Stockton, CA
- United States
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It's been 5 weeks.
Posted on June 7, 2012 at 12:54pm 4 Comments 0 Likes
I lost my husband 5 weeks ago. I just found this site and have been reading some of your posts. My heart goes out to all of you. My husband was diagnosed with cancer and the doctors said he probably had about 18 months to live. That was almost 5 years ago. I feel so blessed that we had so much more time than predicted. He was so positive and carried on his life as if nothing was wrong. I think during those 5 years I was mentally preparing for the time when I would be alone. The last…
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Keltie - I am so very sorry for you loss. My husband died 4 1/2 years ago at the age of 47. He fought the cancer for 4 years with horrible treatments and radiation, surgery. My son was 13 when his dad died. There were quite a few times I prayed it would all be over during his battle. What I wanted over was what my life had become - caretaker, going to doctors, and a very dismal future as I saw our friends go on with the status quo while EVERYTHING had changed for us. What I didn't fully comprehend was that when it was over, he would be gone. GONE. I was numb for about a year before I really felt grief. I think it was fatigue also from the life we were living fighting cancer. There is NO BETTER way through this and everyone does it differently and at their own pace. My son did not show a lot of grief at first either, but several times I have seen raw sadness as he reaches milestones and his father is not there to share them with. He just graduated from high school and has mentioned several times that he misses his dad. I do too. And as I said it has been 4 1/2 years.
Keltie, I am so sorry for your loss and sorry you are now a member of this group but you have come to the right place. You will find we are all grieving and we are all in different stages of grief. There are no right or wrong answers and no time frames in which you must follow. What you are experiencing is normal it is referred to as the roller coaster of grief. You will find throughout your journey there will be many up and down feelings, many triggers that will make you smile and cry at the same time or you just maybe doing the grief 3 step, one step forward and two steps back. But whether you are riding the coaster, doing the 3 step or just moving forward we have all experienced what you are now expressing. Come here often even if it is to read posts. We truly understand. Hugs Jane P